Undergraduate / Scripps College - Why Scripps? - Graffiti Wall [4]

What about Scripps College has inspired you to apply? (200 words)

When I first heard about Scripps College, I immediately dismissed it for being an all-women school. However, I was interested in its sibling schools Pomona and Claremont McKenna and planned a visit to Claremont to learn more about them. Since Scripps was nearby, I registered for a campus tour and information session for Scripps as well.

What I saw there surprised me. Scripps exceeded my expectations and showed me the true worth of a women's college, notably greater leadership opportunities and a supportive environment. Besides, Scripps is unique in that it is part of the Claremont Colleges; I could enjoy the support and community of a small college while experiencing the diversity and multitude of opportunities that a bigger co-ed university would offer.

After the tour, I decided to explore the campus and the Claremont college town while walking back to the hotel I was staying at with my family. When I saw the Graffiti Wall I imagined myself painting on it after graduating from Scripps. Then, I saw the colorfully quaint houses where graduate students and professors lived that beckoned to me and whispered of the lively intellectual life they harbored. And I was hooked.

word count: 195
--- Does the last sentence sound weird?
--- Any suggestions are welcome! :)

Undergraduate / Rice University - Why Rice? - GATEWAY and WHO [3]

What motivated you to apply to Rice University? (200 word limit)

I was attracted by how Rice offers numerous undergraduate research opportunities and close interaction with world-class experts. I want to conduct breakthrough research on the brain and cognition with the GATEWAY program, and I am deeply interested in Rice's new neuroscience minor that has finally been approved after years of development. I will take advantage of a Rice education to prepare for a medical profession and enter the World Health Organization and help people who have no access to health care otherwise.

The residential college system at Rice will help me cultivate a wide variety of interests, as I will be surrounded by a diverse group of people, and learn how to form networks. I am also interested by the proliferous chances for internships and community service at Rice. I believe Rice will fulfill my desires for a challenging academic curriculum balanced with an engaging student life.

word count: 147
--- I'm mostly concerned about how bland the content is. How can I tailor it more to Rice specifically? Thank you in advance! :)

Undergraduate / Rice University - Personal Perspective - Grandfathers and Pumpkin Pie [4]

---The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What personal perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice? (500 word limit)

I moved to America when I was four, so at my grandfather's funeral service in South Korea in 2008, I felt completely out of place, surrounded by strangers. The few times I had seen my grandfather, I was scared by his stern demeanor I mistook for coldness, and my introverted personality and the intimidating language barrier compounded with the fact that I lived thousands of miles from him meant that I never got to really know him. I felt guilty that I couldn't overcome my timidness, then angry at my feelings of shame, and finally sad that I never had a proper conversation with my own grandfather. I regretted allowing my bias to keep me from my grandfather, and henceforth I resolved to be open-minded and try my utmost to learn about something before pushing it away.

I am now an avid pumpkin pie-lover, but I hated its creamy guts when I first tasted it six long years ago. I desperately tried to avoid it, but confrontations were inevitable, especially in a household that condemned picky eaters. Furthermore, I reasoned that there had to be some redeeming qualities in the gooey pastry when so many people liked it, and I would lament missing out on something potentially good. Eventually, pumpkin pie didn't taste so bad, although I was prideful and loathed to admit it. At last, I could deny no further that pumpkin pie was delicious; it was like the bliss of a mother with her newborn baby sleeping in her arms, the satisfaction of President Obama as he swaggers off-screen after announcing the death of Osama bin Laden, and the freshness of a newbie high-school teacher before succumbing to hordes of precocious teenagers. Looking back, I heave a sigh of relief that I had the resolve not to impose my prejudice on pumpkin pie, as I did with my grandfather, and avoided a far less fulfilling life without it.

My conviction to stay open-minded was put to the test when I encountered National History Day, an academic program in which students research a historical subject and compete against other students by presenting their projects to a panel of judges. At first, I thought it would be a waste of time. However, the regrets I felt when my grandfather passed away reminded me to be tolerant, so I decided to try it out. The work was tedious and stressful, but my completed project gave me satisfaction. Competition day came and brought a cultural tide of exhibits and plays about Legos, Queen Elizabeth, the freedom riders, Dorothea Dix, and many other pieces of history. The care and time invested in each of the projects were awe-inspiring, and I was glad that I had been flexible enough to accept NHD into my life.

Everyday brings new people to meet, ideas to ponder, and opportunities to seize. At Rice, I will continue to apply my conviction to keep an open mind so I won't miss out on anything.

--- Word count: 495
--- I'm open to any suggestions and thank you so much in advance!

Undergraduate / Rice University - Extracurricular essay - Tennis Shows My Personality [3]

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. (150 word limit)

My coach once said, "You can tell someone's personality by the way they play tennis."

My junior year was a nightmare of flying tennis balls and rackets. Just before the season began, I accidentally broke my racket and had to get a new one. Then, I injured my wrist and foot; a new job, piano practice, and six AP classes didn't help. I became grouchy, and my tennis showed it, with erratic shots that landed everywhere but where I wanted them to go.

After the season, I chose to take better care of my body by eating healthy and using a trendy yellow wristband. My senior year, I prioritized consistency over power, and stayed levelheaded during matches. When my team made it to Division 1 Regionals for the first time in our school's history, I won a challenging doubles match with strategy and patience, traits I gained through overcoming difficulties.

word count: 150

It was really difficult to get it within the word limit. There was so much more I wanted to write and once I began deleting, the transitions just went away. Any suggestions are deeply appreciated. Thank you!

Undergraduate / Pomona Prompt - Design a Critical Inquiry Course - Politics of Beauty [6]

Pomona's Critical Inquiry course is required of all first-year students, and is designed to be highly interdisciplinary and engaging. Recent class titles include: \"Molecules of the Mind\", \"The Economics of Sin\", and \"Punk: Poets, Politics and Provocation\". Imagine you were hired to design and teach a Critical Inquiry course. Describe the title of the class, its contents, and why you chose it.

I would design a class called "The Politics of Beauty." This course will investigate the influence various historical beauties such as Cleopatra and Madame de Pompadour have had on governments around the world and examine the ways beauty is defined in different countries today. Students will study not only real-life figures but also mythological ones, such as Helen of Troy and the Four Great Beauties of Ancient China. The class will focus on analyzing the impact aesthetics has had on gender roles and power distribution among different cultures. What implications do current standards of beauty have about the concept of westernization and European dominance in the world, especially in Asian and Middle Eastern cultures? What is considered "beautiful" or "handsome" in America, and how does it tie into the political influences of diverse groups in the United States, including racial minorities, women, and homosexuals? "The Politics of Beauty" will provoke students to engage new ideas and become proficient at identifying cause and effect relationships, which will improve their arguments and broaden their perspectives in preparation for the high intellectual level expected at Pomona College.

I chose "The Politics of Beauty" in response to how excessively people are pressured to have a pleasing appearance in modern society. Our obsession with beauty is apparent in the proliferous make-up companies, the model industry, and ever-advancing plastic surgery techniques. It is also a timeless affair, reaching back to ancient civilizations from thousands of years ago. However, rather than the social issues accompanying this subject, I was intrigued by the power beauty holds and how aesthetics impacts the political process. Most people don't think of beauty and aesthetics in political terms, so a class like "The Politics of Beauty" would twist the conventional attitude towards a familiar topic and make us more rational, critical thinkers.

word count: 300

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. :)