Undergraduate / NYU Supplement: My BackPack [3]

I desperately need some critical feedback because I cant decide if this is any good or if i should just scrap it. This is just the beginning of the essay so help would be greatly appreciated! THANK YOU SO MUCH :) I will help with any essays too!

1. Given your NYU campuses of interest - whether they are your primary and alternate home campuses of interest or where you would like to study away while you are a student - where, exactly, would you like to study at NYU - and why?

2. Whether you are undecided or you have a definitive plan of study in mind, what are your academic interests and how do you plan to explore them at NYU?

In the depths of my closet sits a backpack. At first it towered over me, a glorious monstrosity that doubled my size, but now the roles seem to be reversed. Nestled in the front pocket is an envelope addressed, "To my best friend" in jagged strokes. A note hides inside[peeks out], beckoning, "Lets Go." The two words that fuel every dreamer, challenging our adventurous spirit. At ten years old, there was no doubt in my mind that once the time came I would be off scaling the frigid Andes, rafting through the Grand Canyon, and exploring ancient ruins in Rome. I could feel the hot, enticing breath of adventure pressing upon my neck. There was no stopping me.

That same backpack has patiently waited seven years now, collecting dust and harboring the overflow of books, Doctor Who action figures, and pre-owned Pokemon games . I am now seventeen years old, and again I find myself presented with the chance to fulfill the dreams of a little girl who simply wanted to "Go." NYU allows me the opportunity to explore the cities of my dreams while learning about ancient civilizations, mastering foreign languages, and researching various cultures. At the NYU Paris campus, I will be submerged in the epicenter of France where I can fully experience the culture and embrace my anthropological aspirations.

Undergraduate / Pitzer Supplement: Paint, Feathers, & Glitter :) [2]

This is just the first draft so it is far from perfect! If anyone could think of a better opening line that would be amazing, also I couldn't think of an ending that could tie back to the paint and feathers thing :( I also had words that I wasn't sure which i preferred. Any help would be AMAZING, Thank you so much :)

Prompt: Reflecting on your involvement throughout high school or within the community, how have you engaged with one or more of Pitzer's core values?

My body is cloaked in paint. As I carefully pick off stray feathers that have clung to my clothes I notice the massive clumps of glitter in my hair and sigh. Looking in the mirror, I realize that my appearance is a lost cause and I [fling] throw myself onto the bed. I'm so exhausted that even the thought of a shower is completely out of the question. I shut my eyes but my mind [continues to remain] is still stuck in storytime mode. The last three hours of my day consisted of rambunctious five-year-olds, over protective[zealous] mothers, and myself mimicking the ferocious roar of a dragon. Our library storytime group had just wrapped up the final week of our Chinese New Year Celebration and I was exhausted. The past month was non-stop preparation, from researching Chinese-American story-books to pre-folding origami swans for the kids, my list was endless. Laying in my bed, I relished in the success of my team and drifted off with the images of smiling children in my head. As a youth leader of the James S. Thalman Library Storytime I have constantly devoted hours on end to educating children about various cultures, values, and lessons while stimulating their creativity through crafts and games.

I happened upon this program through my high school's Key Club and ever since my first day I was hooked. Being able to brighten a couple of kids' days made all the hard work, lack of sleep, and long nights finishing homework worth it. After my first few years in the program I became one of the group leaders and happily took on a greater role, receiving the chance to plan my very own month for the group. At the beginning of the year, we would designate a theme for each month and assign them to the group leaders. We had African American Heritage month, Presidents month, and of course Winter month which was a compilation of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa. Being a new member I was only in charge of one, but I was elated, ready to take on Earth month with a fighting spirit. Even though April was far off, I spent weeks perfecting my agenda. I began to look into tips for helping the environment, little things that even young kids were capable of- recycling, taking shorter showers, and turning off the faucet while brushing their teeth. I discovered the perfect book, Dr. Suess's The Lorax, whose protagonist is literally the guardian of the trees. After finishing the Earth cut-outs for our craft I felt like I was ready for my time to shine.

Finally the day came and I was overjoyed to see the kids having a blast while learning about the environment. They devoured the book page by page, mesmerized by what the Lorax had to say. After learning about the eco-friendly tips, we made it a contest to see who could collect the most recyclables by the end of the month. The kids were ecstatic, yanking their mothers shirts eager to go home and recycle. Their sense of urgency made me realize just how important preserving the Earth really was.

When I went home that day I thought about how much energy, food, and water that I waste on a daily basis, and I was astonished. From that day on I changed my lifestyle. I created a recycling system for my home, cut down my shower time, and even rode my bike to school a couple days a week. I wanted to be like the Lorax, an advocate for Mother Nature, and I was prepared for all the necessary changes. If granted the opportunity, I plan to take all that I have learned from volunteering and apply it to my time at Pitzer.

Undergraduate / Additional Comments Essay: Math has never been my cup of tea [6]

This essay is for the additional comments section for the common app so if you could look it over and give any feedback that would be amazing! This is really last minute so sorry about the rush! Oh, and if it's too corny or cliche please let me know, Thanks!! :)

Math has never been my cup of tea. Solving for x, finding cosine, and determining the area of a pyramid, all seemed irrelevant to me. I listened with disbelieving ears as teachers repeatedly reprimanded me, burning the idea that math is applicable to everyday life into my brain. I couldn't fathom how knowing the circumference of a circle could help me with anything. I trudged along in math class, desperately trying to decipher the squiggles on the board but inevitably coming up short. I thought that I was a lost cause, forever handicapped by my sub-par mathematics skills, but that was before I had realized my full potential.

My sophomore year of high school I was enrolled in Algebra 2 Honors. Even though I knew that I constantly struggled in math, I yearned for the challenge and forced myself to take the more difficult path. This turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. My teacher was patient, understanding, and occasionally very sarcastic. After a few agonizing weeks of polynomials she noticed my perpetual state of confusion and confronted me. This time, I wasn't made out to be an idiot, I wasn't undermined, and I definitely did not feel embarrassed. Unlike others she encouraged me, reassuring me that I had great potential that just needed to be discovered. She reminded me that her door was always open if I ever needed help with math or even just someone to talk to. I opened up to her about my academic insecurities and she welcomed me with open arms into her after-school tutoring sessions, which I attended almost every day.

Slowly my grades began to improve as I became more confident in and out of the classroom. I requested to sit in the front of all of my classes, finding it easier to concentrate and more difficult to get lost. I watched with a grin on my face as the scribbles gradually transformed into simple formulas which came naturally to me now. I am no longer crippled by my fear of mathematics, but instead I am empowered knowing that whatever obstacles life may throw at me I will always be able to overcome them. It's funny to think that the thing I hated most in life would turn out to be one of my greatest personal successes. As it turns out, I might actually be a coffee person.

Undergraduate / "My piano" Common Application Personal Essay - where you are perfectly content [3]

Prompt: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

Her cool, wooden surface constantly beckons me, yearning for my warm touch. She has mile-long legs, a rough yet comforting exterior, and a secret slot for stashing candy during long sessions. All of which compel me to return day after day and relinquish all of my stress, worries, excitement, everything. She is so simple, yet she has become my haven and solace from reality. When I'm with her I feel as if I have entered another dimension, one where I am surrounded by Tchaikovsky and Chopin as their transcending melodies dance throughout the crevices of my mind. She fills my crave for purpose while still keeping me grounded. My piano has been a place of pure content, allowing me to embrace my confidence and feel comfortable going out into the world to explore my future. However it has not always been this way.

As a child I always felt like the odd man out. With my curly brown hair, alabaster skin, and bright green eyes, I stuck out like a sore thumb in a predominantly Filipino household. Coming from a mixed race family, I always had a difficult time with my identity. No matter how hard I tried I never felt like I fit in with the other kids. I constantly found myself alone. I watched idly as my older brother and sisters grew up, each passionately pursuing the high-end careers that they sought after. They all seemed to have discovered their talent, their true calling in life, and again I felt left out. I was constantly searching for something that inspired me, that would make me feel complete. Then one day we all went down to the local music store in town. That was when I saw her. She was German, her name was Steinway, and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on. I delicately slid the bench out, sat myself down, and lost myself in the keys.

This moment was much more than a simple purchase, it was the forging of an eternal bond between Steinway and myself, a contract stating the I was hers and she was mine. I felt at home every time I sat down with her. I finally had something to call my own, something that no other person in my family was able to do. Playing each note with ease, I voraciously consumed every sonata and fugue with a passion, unparalleled by anything I had ever experienced.I would spend hours on end at my bench, repeating every note to perfection only stopping when I could no longer feel the tips of my fingers. I designated a cleaning day every couple weeks where I would break out my duster and delicately wipe each key until they shone with brilliance. She would keep my up all night, weeks before recitals, making sure that I was confident with every note I played. She never let me catch a break, but time was always allotted for school work and studying, never allowing me to fall behind. As my courses became increasingly difficult, and my community work expanded, I found myself spending less time with Steinway. As I began to branch out at school, I discovered that I no longer needed my piano to hide behind. I was ready to take on the world on my own.

Ten years later, as I sit down with my old friend, I feel as if all of my incessant worries and troubles have been lifted off my shoulders and I am finally ready to play. I am ready to work as hard as I possibly can in order to prove to myself that I can accomplish everything I set out to do. I am ready for whatever is in store for my future and wherever life may lead me. I am determined to never allow myself to give up when presented with challenges and hardships that may be difficult to overcome. I am determined to challenge myself in every possible way in order to ensure that I am taking advantage of every sensational second that I have alive on this planet. I will become the person that I am meant to be. I will do so without my piano.

If you could offer any insight or comments that would be amazing! My deadline is the 1st, so sorry if it's a bit rushed. Thank you so much :)