Graduate / SOP - Ph.D in Environmental Engineering is the foundation [8]

Good job! Do you feel comfortable with it now?

Engineering is the foundation on which humankind builds its world, and engineers can shape the world into a better and more sustainable place to live. This is probably more true about Environmental Sciences than any other field of study.

Scholarship / "A Latin-American" - Scholarship/college essay [8]

Since I was a child

Good job. Now, go through and remove excessive words that clutter your message.
Read through every sentence carefully, removing anything you don't need and asking "can I say it more shortly?" For example:

Because of my passion of community service, I enjoy assisting successful organizations that help in the aid of people in need. Coming from immigrant parents has molded my ideas as to what I wanted as a career goals .

Undergraduate / UC Personal Statements: Suggestions for revising? [7]

The first statement is very strongly worded and compelling, giving the reader a vivid sense of your unique personality and way of looking at the world. That's the goal of a personal statement.

Watch out for run on sentences and for comma splices. (That's when you splice two main clauses together with a comma rather than making them separate sentences or joining them with a semi-colon.)

For example:

I am the first child of two Salvadorean immigrants who rose from the war- torn ashes of Santa Ana, El Salvador; they came to the United States for opportunity, escaping the past, and to make a better life for their future families.

The college did not want his brilliant mind; they did not want the burden of dealing with immigration issues.

My father never attended college, and my mother never finished high school; however they had worked as hard as they could to establish what they created today: A family that loves and works to achieve their goals.

If you clean up the punctuation, the first piece is solid. The second needs more work. The writing is less vivid and more undisciplined. Here's my suggested revision of the first paragraph of that one:

I could tell you that my passion in art will take me somewhere, or that I'm a hard working student, or that I'm unique, or maybe that my past experiences has made me a better person. Out of all these things I could tell you, there is one quality that I can say to myself that I truly am proud of: dedication.

Research Papers / effective or ineffective decision making and leadership - research question [5]

You'll do best, I think, if you can do as the assignment requires, and write from experience. The assignment asks you to write on:


So, list all of the organizations with which you've been involved, not only workplaces but also sports teams, clubs, and the like. Then, for each one, think back over your experiences and observations. Can you recollect any instances of especially good or especially bad decision making? Especially effective or particularly poor leadership?

That process can help you decide on a situation to write about. That can lead to the formulation of a research question.

Undergraduate / Personal Essay/Personal Statement, "connection between me and science" [10]

Hmmm, I see that you have the problem of asking for admission even though your record is not as good as you would like. Generally, if one is going to claim that one will do better in future than the past record would indicate, one needs to give some reason or evidence to back up that claim. What led you to be not as strong academically back in high school and in your first term at college? What has changed? Have you done well in at least one semester of college? If your records are not strong, it's good to address this directly in the personal statement, but you must find some way to convince the reader that you are now ready for work at an accredited university.

As to the rest of the essay, I like it that you begin with your childhood interest in science and with your grandmother. Here, as elsewhere, you will need to make sure that your sentences are complete and properly punctuated. For example, you write

It has always been apparent to me especially after the death of my late grandmother.
There needs to be a comma before especially, but -- more importantly -- what "it" is must be specified.

In the second paragraph, you say "past times." I think you were thinking of "pastimes," which are the things you do, not a word to use for the time itself. Probably, you mean to say "free time."

But, here is the problem: These are not the kinds of leisure activities that are relevant to your academic interests or show broad curiosity about the world. If you had a hobby that was related to science, that would be something to mention. But playing video games and taking walks, while fine things to do, are not the kind of things to mention in an admission essay. Instead, tell us more about "volunteering."

In short, choose every word wisely with the aim of making every single sentence make you look like the kind of student who will succeed at that university.

Undergraduate / "To Understand and Be Understood" - Why do you want to pursue a career in the medical field? [14]

Yes, when you write the paragraphs about why you want to pursue a career in medicine, feel free to post them here for more feedback.

Since you're such a good creative writer, I'd like to see you hone your own skills by trying to make the ones you've already written more correct and concise, in the manner I indicated with the example paragraph. Feel free to post your revisions.

Writing Feedback / If you could invent something new, what product would you develop? (TOEFL essay) [10]

While it's hard to imagine a machine that would do what you say, this essay does seem to be sufficiently well structured, with ideas that are supported by details. I am more concerned by grammar and sentence structure. You're still struggling with verb tense.

In your first paragraph:

If I were a scientist, I would inventsuch an equipment by which we could detect the shortcoming of any event which could be hazardous for our environment... By this invention the whole of humanity would be benefited.

The sentence in between those two I do not understand well enough to edit. Try to write short, simple sentences. When you catch yourself writing "and" in between two long strings of words, that might be a signal that you are trying to say too much in a single sentence.

Your next paragraph is stronger because the sentences are shorter and your verb tense is more consistent. Even so, I would break the first sentence into two, as follows:

Nowadays , more and more people are using automobiles.andF umes out of chemical factories first of all directly affect the human health.

Avoid starting sentences with "so." "So" is usually used to introduce a subordinate clause. Putting "so" at the beginning of the sentence often turns what would be a good sentence into a sentence fragment, by making it into a subordinate clause.

In summary, you are doing very well, but still have some work to do.

Writing Feedback / If you could invent something new, what product would you develop? (TOEFL essay) [10]

Sean's advice about reading is good for another reason: The more you read in English, the more natural correct English will sound to you. Over time, verb tense errors and the like will start to sound wrong to you. You'll be less likely to make those errors and thus won't need time to correct them.

As to time, I think that taking the time to frame short clear sentences one by one, rather than rushing to say as much as possible, rambling into errors in the process, is a better strategy. As Sean says, your speed will naturally increase over time.

Undergraduate / UC Personal Statements: Suggestions for revising? [7]

Comma splices may be the most common punctuation error. People who are prone to them never notice them. Because they are putting in a punctuation mark to denote the pause between phrases -- just the wrong punctuation mark -- the sentence reads right to them. But once you realize you are prone to this mistake, it's easy to be alert for it.

Book Reports / King Lear naivety and inability to control his emotions (ENG4U class) [17]

Good point, Sean.

Writing Feedback / Machine Learning versus Learning by Humans [51]

Arguing or illustrating by means of metaphor is always tricky. That's because our responses to metaphors are very personal and our ability to see analogies depends on our own experiences and associations.

What I usually tell students who plan to argue or illustrate a point by means of metaphor or analogy is to test the analogy/metaphor with at least three people, ideally very different people. If even one of them just doesn't see the analogy/metaphor or does not find it compelling, then perhaps it is not safe to use that analogy or metaphor in a piece intended for a general readership, because some subset of readers is likely to just not get it. The more complex the idea and more extended the metaphor, the more room there is for misunderstanding.

Research Papers / Research Paper on Life situation [4]

Are you asking whether it is possible or acceptable to write a paper based on life experiences? Possible, yes! Indeed, the best and most fresh writing usually occurs when students choose topics based on their life experiences.

But perhaps you are asking whether it is allowable to include personal life experiences in a sociology paper. Generally, yes. But you should ask your instructor. Probably s/he will want you to write about the idea of culture shock, as described in your textbook or an outside reading, and then illustrate the idea by describing your own experiences.

Some students worry about writing in the first person, as one needs to do when writing about personal history, in a school report. Just check with your teacher if that worries you.

And then yes, please do post your draft essay here for feedback.

Speeches / Speech on Finding a Job After Graduation [5]

This is a good start, but could be much stronger.

First, begin your speech in a manner more likely to capture the audience's attention. Since you are speaking to fellow students, you might start with questions, such as "What are you going to do when you get out of school? Are you sure you can get a job?" Then you can move on to "Good afternoon," etc.

Next, I would like to see you include more supporting details. For example, to establish the importance of your topic, you could cite the unemployment statistics for college graduates in your country, state, or region. To support your argument that students must both attend to their studies and gain practical experience, you could quote a job recruiter or job recruitment website.

Moving on to details, I am not sure what you mean by "develop your out standings." "Outstanding" is an adjective, not a noun. You will need to find a noun or noun phrase to use where you are using "outstanding."

Finally, make sure you choose correct words. For example, I think you mean "folded arms" not "bolded arms."

You've chosen a topic sure to appeal to your audience and already have done good work organizing your arguments and finding some supporting evidence. With a little more research and careful attention to language, this could be an "outstanding" entry in your speech competition.

Writing Feedback / Australian Gold Rush: Introduction writing [16]

Good start! See my suggested corrections below.

The Gold Rush of the 1850s was a major turning point in Australian c olonial h istory. The G old R ush led to a rapid increase in population and economic growth; the hastening of a democratic government; and a huge influx of money, which made the colonies prosper, especially Victoria. All this has made Australia the Australia we know today.

As to capitalizing "Gold Rush," you can go either way. Just be sure to keep it consistent. Either do or don't capitalize the phrase all the way through the essay.

Book Reports / King Lear naivety and inability to control his emotions (ENG4U class) [17]

Hubris is excessive pride or confidence, to the point of arrogance. Most literary critics agree that Lear was meant to be an example of hubris. In addition to the interpretation that Sean outlines, there is also the fact that throughout the play Lear ignores the advice of those who are warning him not to take these foolish actions. He thinks he knows better. He has excessive confidence in his judgment. That's hubris.

And this comes back to my main piece of advice. I am not saying that you should stick to one reason for his downfall. I am saying that you need to decide the central question of whether you believe Lear was responsible for his downfall. If the answer to that is "yes," then you must keep your language consistent with that, for example saying that he was "unwilling" rather than "unable" to control his emotions.

Grammar, Usage / Simple ways of improving my writing and structure. [8]

In the long run, participating in this site -- reading and commenting on the writing of others while also getting feedback on your own writing -- will improve your writing. We learn writing best by writing and by helping others with their writing.

Another way to improve your writing in the long run is to read regularly and widely. Online, visit the websites of real newspapers and magazines, rather than just blogs and forums. Offline, read books, newspapers, and magazines. If you are interested in media, computing, and business, find reading materials in those areas. Read all of your course materials, for sure, but also do extra outside reading. This will improve your vocabulary and your writing ability naturally.

In the short term, you can improve your writing by studying the text book for your English General Studies class. It seems that you already know your weaknesses: redundancy and lack of concision. These can often be solved by outlining before writing. Force yourself to think through exactly what you want to say, organizing this into an outline in which each idea is expressed in only a few words. Before writing, review the outline to ensure you've not listed the same thing two or three times. The draft your essay from your outline, sticking to it and avoiding the urge to repeat yourself. Because you have already made your points in just a few words each, it will be easier for you to go straight to the point when writing.

Writing Feedback / If you could invent something new, what product would you develop? (TOEFL essay) [10]

I cannot say if you will pass on the 30th, but I can give you some advice and wish you well.

When you get the test question, take a moment to gather your thoughts and sketch and outline before you begin to write. When you write, concentrate on writing short, simple sentences. Keep your verb tense (past, present, or future) consistent throughout. As I said above, if you catch yourself writing "and" after a long string of words, perhaps you should end the sentence instead and start the new thought with a new sentence. Don't try to be creative or impressive. Just concentrate on saying what you have to say as clearly as possible.

Good luck and please do let us know how it goes!

Writing Feedback / People want stay healthy. Health is must to enjoy the life to the fullest. [7]

Yes, you are improving. I don't see any run-on sentences!

A few corrections:

Health is necessary to enjoy the life to the fullest. For me it's even more necessary. Because I believe fittness is key to sucess for a physcial therapist. For staying healthy I do three things,first of all starting my day with meditation and light yoga; preparing my own healthy food; and jogging for half an hour in the evening.

When you add "because" to the start of a sentence, that changes it into a subordinate clause and, thus, a sentence fragment.

For that, home- made food is the right choice.

Grammar, Usage / Simple ways of improving my writing and structure. [8]

Here's a tip for revising as you go when taking a test on paper (rather than on the computer): Write on every other line of the paper, like double-spacing. This way, there's lots of room above each line to write in new or revised words or phrases.

Undergraduate / Firmly believe it is the best university for me; U Ryerson; Why apply? [12]

That's a good suggestion even if your interest is sincere. When writing an application of any kind -- job application, grant application, admissions application -- it's always useful to integrate the target audience's own way of talking about the topic at hand.

Grammar, Usage / Ethics of Writing Creative Non-Fiction [4]

With all due respect, Sean, this essay does fall into the genre of creative non-fiction, in that the author is presenting this as an essentially true account of a personal experience. There's a big difference between smoothing out dialogue (taking out the repetitions and fillers, etc.) and just making things up. There can be a strong temptation to make a story stronger by putting words into people's mouths. That's fine with a fictional character, but when we are writing about a real person, we have an obligation to that person (and to our readers) to do our best to make sure the dialogue we recreate is an authentic reflection of what they actually said. That homeless man was real. He said something. In order to be true to him and to the story, the writer must search his memory and then use dialogue that -- while it probably won't be the exact words that were said -- is an authentic representation of their encounter.

For discussions of the importance of authenticity in creative non-fiction, and tips for resolving the ethical questions that can arise when reconstructing stories from imprecise memories, see Bly (2001) Beyond the Writer's Workshop and Gornick (2001) The Situation and the Story.

Writing Feedback / People want stay healthy. Health is must to enjoy the life to the fullest. [7]

Very smart and alert of you to turn off spell check when practicing for TOEFL so as to learn not to rely on that as a crutch. One thing you might do, when practicing, is to complete the essay without spell check and then turn on spell check to catch your errors and learn where it is that you tend to make spelling mistakes.

Writing Feedback / Critical essay about Persepolis. [2]

Persepolis is such a wonderful book! I'm glad to have this opportunity to review an essay about it. I share your enthusiasm and have recommended it to several of my friends.

Overall, your review is very strong. I have just a few suggestions.

First, while I like the idea of somebody "defiantly" enjoying something, I think you mean "definitely." You make this error in two places, so be sure to fix both.

My most substantial piece of feedback is that you jump from your brief introduction right into recounting specific scenes and events from the book. In order to better orient your reader, you might want to provide a brief overview or two-sentence synopsis of the book before jumping into the individual scenes.

Also, it seems strange to me to write a whole essay on this book without once mentioning that it is a graphic novel or making any reference at all to the drawings. Did using that format help Satrapi to make the characters and their lives more engaging? Did it help to make Iran itself seem less forbidding and foreign to you?

Your grammar and punctuation are excellent, for the most part. Be more consistent in your citation style. In some cases, you say (page #), while in others you use (Satrapi #). Probably, you should be using MLA style, in which case you want to use (Satrapi #) the first time you quote something from the book in a paragraph and then simply (#) for any subsequent quotations in that paragraph.

One specific fix:
When someone would say the word "Iran" I used to think of oil, criminals, and communists .

Thank you for sharing such a lovely review, which reminded me of many of my favorite scenes from this wonderful book.

Writing Feedback / Australian Gold Rush: Introduction writing [16]

First substance, then style:

What troubled me about the immigration paragraph was the vague reference to racial conflict. What happened, I believe, is that the gold rush was part of a wider immigration pattern wherein people of European descent displaced -- often very violently -- the original inhabitants of the region, who have never fully recovered from that onslaught. That's a very different kind of racial conflict than might happen if people of different races, all from elsewhere, were competing among themselves for resources. So, you will have to be more specific.

This will help you with your cultural growth paragraph -- although you might want to call it cultural change, since one culture grew at the expense of another. Again, be sure to be specific and, insofar as possible, take into account the different perspectives of different participants in this process of cultural change.

Now, style:

You grammar is mostly solid, but you have a tendency to commit the comma splice error, which is when a writer splices together two complete sentences with a comma, rather than separating them with a semi-colon (if they are part of the same thought) or a period (if they are separate thoughts).

But this is what made Australia known for its multiculturalism; high immigration rates contributed in a large part to the multicultural nature of Australia today.

Immigration did not only contributed to multiculturalism, though; when the lucky diggers spent their money, people could start making profits and produce more.

New industries were set up.M ore people could go to work.

They started rebellions, the most famous being the Eureka Stockade protests.U nions formed to pressure governments even more.

Writing Feedback / People want stay healthy. Health is must to enjoy the life to the fullest. [7]

Notoman, That is such excellent advice!! Thank you for participating so actively in peer editing. That's what makes this forum work!

Writing Feedback / People should read only those books which are real events& real person [10]

I did move this to it's own thread.

Again,Notoman, great advice!

It is so easy to mix up words in a new language. (I have said some very strange things in Portuguese.)

intrusting ... interesting?

Every book is the product of the imagination the author. It may be inspired by a real story or real event , but more or less it always contains some imagination of the author.

I like the structure of this essay. You state your thesis, explain each point by giving examples, and then restate your thesis in the conclusion. Perhaps you could explain even more, for example by stating why mystery novels are good intellectual exercise. But, overall: Good job!

Undergraduate / LMU supplement essay- REFLECTIONS FROM HER OLDER SELF [7]

I like the originality. As you say, these prompts can lead to dull essays. This will certainly stand out from the crowd.

It feels a bit "overwritten" to me, though... as if you are trying a bit too hard to show off your writing skills. At times it becomes dull because you use the same sentence structure throughout -- long sentences filled with sequential clauses. Over time, this has a lulling effect on the reader.

So, my advise would be to be more parsimonious with the long, flowing sentences and to make the piece more readable and interesting by also including short, sharp sentences that go right to the point.

Undergraduate / Essay about my self: Introducing Yourself to Your Instructor [6]

Actually, Quaker_75, "I spent my first 16 years of life" is correct. Your correction introduced an error. In English, the subject comes first in a statement, unless it is preceded by a subordinate clause or the object and subject have been deliberately reversed for a special effect. In this sentence, "I" is the subject, "spent," is the verb, and "first 16 years of my life" is the object.

Subject-Verb-Object is the standard structure.

Speeches / Speech on Finding a Job After Graduation [5]

Yes, one must remember that audiences are often bored by long lists of numbers. However one strong or shocking statistic -- such as a high unemployment rate among college graduates -- can have the opposite effect and can capture the audience's attention.

Writing Feedback / Australian Gold Rush: Introduction writing [16]

You're very welcome! It's a pleasure to help a student who is trying so hard to write as well as possible.

Writing Feedback / Australian Gold Rush: Introduction writing [16]

I see two comma splices, which should be fixed as follows:

Immigration not only contributed to multiculturalism, though; with the increase of population came an economic boom.

Expenditure on public works in Australia increased from 122000 pounds in 1852 to 356000 pounds in 1853; this is clear evidence that there was a lot of money.

Essays / Student should be required to take classes outside of their major field of study [5]

Regardless of topic, the steps to essay writing are as follows:

I. Prewriting
- Use brainstorming, free writing, and/or mind mapping to generate ideas.

Identify purpose, message (thesis), and audience.

Plan and conduct any research necessary to obtain supporting evidence for thesis.

Organize ideas and supporting evidence into an outline

II. Writing
- Draft essay according to outline, using language appropriate to your purpose, message, and audience

III. Revision
- Revise draft
- Proofread draft
- Get feedback
- Revise again
- Proofread again
- ... repeat as necessary

So, since you have a topic, you have to think about what you might say for or against this idea. Use brainstorming, jotting down all of the arguments for or against the idea that college students should be required to take classes outside their field of study. After reflecting on those ideas, choose your position: For, against, or with mixed feelings (i.e. knowing that it is a good idea but still feeling resentful because of the extra time and money this will cost you as a student).

Next, decide which of the ideas that came up in brainstorming you will include in your essay. Will you need to do any research to support any claims that you want to make?

After that, you can decide in what order to make your arguments. Start with an introduction in which you state your position and list your arguments. Then devote a paragraph to explaining and supporting each argument. Conclude with a summary and strong restatement of your position.

Writing Feedback / 'useless in applying theories'; Daily homework is not necessary for students [5]

In your introduction, instead of saying "and the reason is below," provide a one-sentence summary of the arguments to follow. Also, to make your introduction more informative, tell us who were the people answering the survey. Students? Parents? The general public?

Moving on to grammar, I'll make just a few corrections and suggestions, hoping that others will jump in to do the same.

In the first sentence, make sure your verb is past tense. Instead of saying that they "made a survey," I would say that they "surveyed" students/teachers/the public (say which) to discover their opinions concerning whether students should be assigned homework every day.

Nearly sixty percent of people believe students need more spare time to spend on things they like instead of assignmentsmostly students dislike. On the other side, the rest of respondents feel that homework is a useful means by which parents can keep their child out of computer games.

I wonder about this. Did the respondents in favor of homework all cite computer games as the reason? That seems unlikely to me. Most supporters of homework tend to believe that it reinforcing learning by forcing students to practice what they have learning in their lessons. Keeping students busy tends to be a secondary reason.

Nowadays, daily homework takes up most of students' time, not allowing time for meaningful socialization for future life and work, such as internships , community service, and forth.

I wonder if you have some evidence to support this claim. Do you know, on average, how many hours per week the students in your school or region spend on homework?

Scholarship / Scholarship Essay: Graduate Education in Chemical Engineering [7]

I hadn't replied before because it was locked... perhaps you inadvertently locked it when you first posted it?

I'm of two minds about your "way to hell" phrase... I like it in the introduction and personally find it amusing when you return to it in the conclusion, but I worry what might happen if a reader doesn't get the joke. You may be taking too much of a risk.

Overall, the essay is lively and interesting, but not as organized and coherent as I would like it to be. You jump back and forth in time too often. Starting in the present, then back to high school, then back to the present, then back to university, then to childhood, etc.

To reorganize, (1) look over what you have; (2) abstract the most important points; (3) put these points in a logical order; and (4) draft a revised essay from scratch, using this version as raw material.

Some of your phrases I do not understand. "Of course Paul did" -- what does that mean?

You also have some problems with grammar, with some run-on and improperly punctuated sentences. Rather than go sentence by sentence, since you have so much rewriting to do that they are going to change anyway, what I am going to suggest you do is keep your sentences as short and simple as possible in order to keep the possibility of punctuation errors to a minimum.

Grammar, Usage / Critical Thinking - to form well thought out and defensible arguments in papers [13]

Gautama, What an excellent suggestion! Actually, two excellent suggestions: critical thinking and logical fallacies are each important topics on their own. Let's handle critical thinking in this thread and then you, I, or someone else can start a separate thread on logical fallacies.

Before going into technical details, let me say first that mindset is the most important aspect of critical thinking. The key is to be skeptically open-minded. In order to think critically, one must first be open to new ideas and to the possibility that one's own preconceptions may be in error or askew, whether this be due to prejudice or to faulty or incomplete knowledge. At the same time, one cannot uncritically accept everything one hears or reads.

Assuming that one is open to new knowledge or ideas, how should these be processed? Well, first it is necessary to ensure that one has correctly understood the new information or perspective. That means reading and listening actively.

In active listening, one deliberately sets aside distractions and preconceptions in order to attend closely to what is being said. While listening, take notes by jotting down key points rather than by trying to reproduce what has been said word for word. Reflect your understanding of what has been said back to the speaker, asking "Is that right?" so that you can be sure you heard correctly. Do this especially with things that are surprising to you or with which you may disagree. (Don't voice your feelings of disagreement until you are sure you have understood correctly, as this can lead to useless conflict based on misunderstanding.)

Also while listening, make connections and frame questions in your head, jotting these down along with your notes. By "make connections," I mean think actively about how what you are learning relates to other things you know or have heard about. By "frame questions," I mean not only wonder about what you don't understand but also ask questions like, "How reliable is the speaker?" and "Does this make sense?" and "What are the implications of this information?"

It is in the process of making connections and framing questions that one begins to think critically. By comparing what you are hearing to what you already know or believe to be true, you are essentially asking whether what you are learning is consistent with other known facts and, if not, wondering how to reconcile the old information/perspective with the new -- that's thinking critically! And, of course, assessing the credibility of your source and the internal logic of what you are hearing are also elements of critical thinking.

The same process holds true for reading, although there it is not possible to directly ask in order to make sure you have understood. You may, however, wish to use the wonderful resource that is the internet to see what other people have thought or written about what you've just read and, in so doing, check that your conception of what the work says is consistent with that of other readers.

All of the other steps hold true for reading as well as listening: Make connections. Consider the credibility of the source. Ask how what you are reading fits -- or doesn't fit -- with what you know or believe to be true. Think about the implications of this fact, idea, or viewpoint. Take notes in your own words rather than by quoting, because doing the work of putting the information/ideas into your own words will force you to think clearly and will lead you to discover any gaps in your understanding. (Of course, to avoid later plagiarism, you still need to note the citation information so that you can give proper credit when when writing anything based on the ideas you got from the text.) Copy down direct quotes only when the writer has expressed something in a very original manner or in especially clever words. (In that case, be sure to put quotation marks around the quote so that, again, you do not accidentally commit plagiarism later.)

Doing these things when reading and listening will improve your writing in two ways. First, critical thinking while researching will give you more and better things to say when it's time to start writing. Then, when you do write, you can apply the same skepticism to your own prose, asking yourself whether you really are making sense, whether you have cited credible sources for assertions of fact, and the like.

Those are just some of the suggestions I usually give to speech and composition students. I'd be interested to hear other thoughts on the subject. And, I am certainly open to a new thread on logical fallacies, which are among my favorite topics to teach.

Poetry / Senses poems: Birthdays, Summer in Yellow [5]

I personally prefer the summer poem. I like all of your metaphors, although "families having fun" is a bit vague. Try to come up with something more specific, such as families engaging in a particularly summery activity.

Essays / 5 paragraph essay on writing about my study skills and work ethics [3]

If you have a hard time getting started, try freewriting. Set a timer for five, ten, or fifteen minutes then start writing about your study skills and work ethic, saying the things you would like your teacher or those who will receive the recommendation to know about you. Don't worry about grammar or punctuation and, no matter what you do, don't stop writing until the time is up. If you get stuck, just write "I'm stuck, I'm stuck" or "I don't know what to say" or "What should I say?" over and over until another idea comes to you. Then, when the time is up, look over what you've written and pull out the good ideas to use in your essay.

Essays / Unclear Writing Instructions? [13]

Let me give you some advice for your meeting with your instructor. If you want to have any hope of gaining a higher grade, do not go into the meeting with an aggrieved attitude and the charge that the instructions were unclear. Go in with a questioning attitude, stating that you are confused by the scoring, given that you thought you had followed the instructions. After the instructor explains that s/he wanted you to list alternatives, say something like, "Oh, that was not clear to me. Was that in the instructions?" Listen to what your teacher says in response. (Teachers hate it when students come in demanding higher grades and then do not listen.)

If you are polite and respectful while still firm in explaining why you feel that the essay did meet the stated criteria, you are more likely to obtain a revised grade. The main thing to avoid is coming in on the offensive, charging the teacher with giving unclear instructions, as this will just put him/her on the defensive. Listen just as closely to the teacher as you hope that the teacher will listen to you, and the meeting will end on a positive note whether or not you get the improved grade you desire.

Poetry / Senses poems: Birthdays, Summer in Yellow [5]

Good point about the discordant imagery ... that's what was bothering me about the winter poem, now that I think about it.