samkmas
Aug 12, 2018
Writing Feedback / Ielts, Task2, Countryside or city, Discuss both sides + Opinion [4]
Points and supporting sentences are not enough.
Points and supporting sentences are not enough.
samkmas
May 1, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay: Parents should teach children about money [3]
Money in the modern city is an absolutely essential thing for us to live. We exchange different things such as staples by using it. There are many books teaching us how to earn more money or how to make an investment. But the audience are mainly adults, far less focusing on children. Is there any needs letting children know more about the wise use of money and teach them the balanced values towards money as soon as possible. As for me, I agree that the children should be taught how to use money by the teachers and the parents. There are several reasons supporting my view.
Some study show that the experience during childhood have a huge impact to the development of adults. More reliable evidence provides that the values of parents towards money are strongly linked with their children, and this will not easily be vanished for the course of life. Besides, children' mind are not seriously firmed and are easily affected by their peers when socializing with them. If they meet a false friend in haphazard, they may go astray for the rest of life. By that time, they cannot learn the correct way of using money and may live in a lavish lifestyle. To cultivate them with a correct value towards money has a huge benefit.
In China, many children receive much pocket money during the lunar years. Many youngsters have a good habit of storing them until they grow up to a certain age or using them at an urgent time. I like most of them and only buy some favorable things which is very attractive to me. Since I am at the young age, I also have an investment habit helped by my parents. They allow me to store the extra money into the bank, and use them until my university life starts. It let me recognize that money cannot be trifled away as my parents earn every penny very hard against labor. Their attitude towards money also have made an ever-increasing positive impact to me. And I will treasure my money I earn and only spend them on the necessarily thing. I believe I will teach my children the same value as me in the future.
To conclude, children should be taught by their parents how to use the money wisely and this enables children have a huge benefit when they grow up. This not only help the individual, but also cultivate a correct attitude towards money for the community and promote us to treasure limited resources what we have now.
Money in the modern city is an absolutely essential thing for us to live. We exchange different things such as staples by using it. There are many books teaching us how to earn more money or how to make an investment. But the audience are mainly adults, far less focusing on children. Is there any needs letting children know more about the wise use of money and teach them the balanced values towards money as soon as possible. As for me, I agree that the children should be taught how to use money by the teachers and the parents. There are several reasons supporting my view.
Some study show that the experience during childhood have a huge impact to the development of adults. More reliable evidence provides that the values of parents towards money are strongly linked with their children, and this will not easily be vanished for the course of life. Besides, children' mind are not seriously firmed and are easily affected by their peers when socializing with them. If they meet a false friend in haphazard, they may go astray for the rest of life. By that time, they cannot learn the correct way of using money and may live in a lavish lifestyle. To cultivate them with a correct value towards money has a huge benefit.
In China, many children receive much pocket money during the lunar years. Many youngsters have a good habit of storing them until they grow up to a certain age or using them at an urgent time. I like most of them and only buy some favorable things which is very attractive to me. Since I am at the young age, I also have an investment habit helped by my parents. They allow me to store the extra money into the bank, and use them until my university life starts. It let me recognize that money cannot be trifled away as my parents earn every penny very hard against labor. Their attitude towards money also have made an ever-increasing positive impact to me. And I will treasure my money I earn and only spend them on the necessarily thing. I believe I will teach my children the same value as me in the future.
To conclude, children should be taught by their parents how to use the money wisely and this enables children have a huge benefit when they grow up. This not only help the individual, but also cultivate a correct attitude towards money for the community and promote us to treasure limited resources what we have now.
samkmas
May 1, 2014
Writing Feedback / Cities are the Ideal place to study Societies [8]
The vocabulary of this essay is good, but it lack some connections between sentences. You can elaborate more about each sentence such as providing more examples.
The vocabulary of this essay is good, but it lack some connections between sentences. You can elaborate more about each sentence such as providing more examples.
samkmas
May 1, 2014
Writing Feedback / CAPITAL PUNISHMENT AND THE INNOCENT; 52 states that have the death penalty in US [3]
Of those 316 prisoners 198 of those were African American, 94 white, 22 Latino and 2 Asian.
Since XX years, there have been many mistaken convictions towards the innocent. Thus, many prisoners have exonerated over the years. It makes me wonder how many were put to death that were originally innocent. Is it necessary to put a guilty person to death worth the risk of taking one's innocent life?
My English is not so good, I can only help a little.
Of those 316 prisoners 198 of those were African American, 94 white, 22 Latino and 2 Asian.
Since XX years, there have been many mistaken convictions towards the innocent. Thus, many prisoners have exonerated over the years. It makes me wonder how many were put to death that were originally innocent. Is it necessary to put a guilty person to death worth the risk of taking one's innocent life?
My English is not so good, I can only help a little.
samkmas
Apr 30, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: limited resources, infrastructure; traditional house vs modern apartment? [2]
Please revise my essay.
Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.
If I was asked what is your choice between living in a traditional house and a modern apartment building, my choice is to live in a modern apartment building. Though I haven't ever lived in a traditional house, there are several reasons for me to select living in a modern apartment building.
First of all, I am going to describe a number of disadvantages for living in a traditional house. When we live in a traditional house, the resources we relied on are limited, such as the water supply, electricity supply and food supply. The infrastructure built around the building will be much more difficult when we aren't living in urban areas and the relative cost raises a lot higher correspondingly. So this brings inconvenience for our living habit we used to accustom to. If we want to living in a traditional house, we must prohibit using a great deal of consumer electrics since the electric supply in rural areas is not always stable. And the internet may be not so prevalent too, so the connection between the local and outside world is lesser than the normal. Contrary to the inconvenience, we can enjoy the serenity, freshness of air and the slow pace of living.
Being lived in a modern apartment building, we can have a broader view of the modern world. Since we live in an urban area, the infrastructure is quite satisfactory. There is always a local library, a clinic center, supermarket market and a shopping centre around the modern apartment building. So we will always feel content than living in a rural area when we got sick, want to go shopping, buy a dinner or staple or read the latest magazines or books. Besides, living in a modern building can have more entertainment since cinemas, libraries and some theme parks can only build in the large city, as small village cannot fulfill the requirement of daily expenses due to a lack of expected attendance. As for me, these advantages outweigh the disadvantages of living in a modern building such as the air pollutions, interferences like dogs barking in mid-night, and a long distance between the working place and home.
To conclude, living in a traditional house is a misery to me. I am used to live in a modern apartment and feel comfortable with it too. I don't mind living in a traditional house in a short period of time, but I cannot withstand its inconvenience when I have to face it for a long time.
Please revise my essay.
Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.
If I was asked what is your choice between living in a traditional house and a modern apartment building, my choice is to live in a modern apartment building. Though I haven't ever lived in a traditional house, there are several reasons for me to select living in a modern apartment building.
First of all, I am going to describe a number of disadvantages for living in a traditional house. When we live in a traditional house, the resources we relied on are limited, such as the water supply, electricity supply and food supply. The infrastructure built around the building will be much more difficult when we aren't living in urban areas and the relative cost raises a lot higher correspondingly. So this brings inconvenience for our living habit we used to accustom to. If we want to living in a traditional house, we must prohibit using a great deal of consumer electrics since the electric supply in rural areas is not always stable. And the internet may be not so prevalent too, so the connection between the local and outside world is lesser than the normal. Contrary to the inconvenience, we can enjoy the serenity, freshness of air and the slow pace of living.
Being lived in a modern apartment building, we can have a broader view of the modern world. Since we live in an urban area, the infrastructure is quite satisfactory. There is always a local library, a clinic center, supermarket market and a shopping centre around the modern apartment building. So we will always feel content than living in a rural area when we got sick, want to go shopping, buy a dinner or staple or read the latest magazines or books. Besides, living in a modern building can have more entertainment since cinemas, libraries and some theme parks can only build in the large city, as small village cannot fulfill the requirement of daily expenses due to a lack of expected attendance. As for me, these advantages outweigh the disadvantages of living in a modern building such as the air pollutions, interferences like dogs barking in mid-night, and a long distance between the working place and home.
To conclude, living in a traditional house is a misery to me. I am used to live in a modern apartment and feel comfortable with it too. I don't mind living in a traditional house in a short period of time, but I cannot withstand its inconvenience when I have to face it for a long time.
samkmas
Apr 30, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2- MUSIC IN THE WOLD TODAY [4]
Above all, nowadays, people are always surrounded with music. International pop music is a trend in the near future, but traditional music have to be preserved too.
Above all, nowadays, people are always surrounded with music. International pop music is a trend in the near future, but traditional music have to be preserved too.
samkmas
Apr 30, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Animals should not be exploited by people [6]
In my opinion, I think that animals should have the same rights as human beings because animals are also living creature in the world. It is taught by our religion that we should keep all living things.
As a result, we should keep animal enjoy a comfortable life and animals are also creatures created by our God.
In my opinion, I think that animals should have the same rights as human beings because animals are also living creature in the world. It is taught by our religion that we should keep all living things.
As a result, we should keep animal enjoy a comfortable life and animals are also creatures created by our God.
samkmas
Apr 28, 2014
Writing Feedback / The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By 2020 may be as many as 29 million vehicles. [3]
IELTS : Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged?
The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2020 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Compared with the past, there are much more vehicles used by people. Some studies show that by the year 2020, 29 million vehicles are being driven on British roads. It comes up with many problems such as traffic congestion, air pollutions and sound pollutions etc.. Some Government officials aware of this importance, so they want to introduce some additional measures to control the use of car and cars' ownship such as by legislation.
I agree with the view of encouraging people to reduce the use of car and its ownship and to try using public transport. There are several reasons supporting my standpoint. First of all, we all know vehicle is one of the reasons causing global warming, since vehicles emits tons of carbon dioxide everyday by using petrol to work. More vehicles driving on the road, more emission will be exhausted. So not only the environment is being affected, the respiratory system of human being is also seriously damaged at all. To control the number of car using on the road is an effective measure to reduce the air pollution, so if more people can use public transport to work, it not only help reduce the traffic congestion, but also conserve our environment better.
We all live in this planet which is also the only one. If we don't treasure our environment, our next generation will live in a worse place which is full of pollutant and plagues. Sicknesses or diseases might be rampant all over the world. I do hope that this phenomenon will not occur, so it is evitable that we should aware of conserving our environment every minute and every moment.
IELTS : Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged?
The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2020 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Compared with the past, there are much more vehicles used by people. Some studies show that by the year 2020, 29 million vehicles are being driven on British roads. It comes up with many problems such as traffic congestion, air pollutions and sound pollutions etc.. Some Government officials aware of this importance, so they want to introduce some additional measures to control the use of car and cars' ownship such as by legislation.
I agree with the view of encouraging people to reduce the use of car and its ownship and to try using public transport. There are several reasons supporting my standpoint. First of all, we all know vehicle is one of the reasons causing global warming, since vehicles emits tons of carbon dioxide everyday by using petrol to work. More vehicles driving on the road, more emission will be exhausted. So not only the environment is being affected, the respiratory system of human being is also seriously damaged at all. To control the number of car using on the road is an effective measure to reduce the air pollution, so if more people can use public transport to work, it not only help reduce the traffic congestion, but also conserve our environment better.
We all live in this planet which is also the only one. If we don't treasure our environment, our next generation will live in a worse place which is full of pollutant and plagues. Sicknesses or diseases might be rampant all over the world. I do hope that this phenomenon will not occur, so it is evitable that we should aware of conserving our environment every minute and every moment.
