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Posts by Ruxi
Name: Ruxandra Bogdan
Joined: Dec 23, 2014
Last Post: Dec 26, 2014
Threads: 3
Posts: 5  
From: Canada
School: SMLS

Displayed posts: 8
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Ruxi   
Dec 26, 2014
Undergraduate / Why Brown? - I find myself frustrated when confined to a single branch of study. [4]

@vangiespen

Thank you so much! :) And the complete prompt was "Why Brown?" which is quite open ended, so I wasn't quite sure which direction i wanted to take it. I wanted to focus on making it genuine and demonstrating that I already have an idea for what I would do at Brown.

And just clarifying - my grammar is all good, right? No run on sentences or anything like that? :p
Ruxi   
Dec 26, 2014
Undergraduate / Why Brown? - I find myself frustrated when confined to a single branch of study. [4]

Grammatical editing would be greatly appreciated! :) Also, do you feel that this flows, and do I sound genuine? Many thanks - will edit essays in return :)

Brown is the true definition of a liberal arts education. Having such a wide variety of interests, I find myself frustrated when confined to a single branch of study. Having to choose a sole subject area that you are passionate about instead of having the freedom to choose all of them is limiting. I believe that people can be passionate about more than one thing, and that is where my views align so perfectly with Brown's. Brown encourages students to explore new things, and being an avidly curious individual, I would take full advantage of Francis Wayland's philosophy "study what he chose, all that he chose, and nothing but what he chose". If Brown gave me the opportunity to join its elite student population, I would combine my passions of science and music to create my own niche within the Brown community; I could structure my education to suit my interests instead of structuring my interests to suit my education. In summation, I would use my time at Brown to learn not only about the branches of study that intrigue me, but also to learn about my interests, my passions, and myself.
Ruxi   
Dec 23, 2014
Undergraduate / I am not sure of my major, yet, my education is my main priority. Kean University Essay [3]

A solid start! Good luck on getting into college :) I wish you all the best.

I am not sure of my major yet. M y education is my main priority. I am the first in my family to ever apply to college. I feel proud that I am seeking my own independence, and that I am determined to succeed. As I am applying as an Undecided-Liberal Arts Major, I will eventually find a career I seek interest in. My goal in pursuing a career is to find a career which allows me to be self reliant , and because of my self-reliance , I will be happy.

What inspires me to become independent is through a series of events throughout my life. My mother and father separated when I was two. My father is diagnosed bipolar, and my mother placed a restraining order against him due to his threatening violence upon our family if he was forced to pay child support. My mother was unable to receive a further education or find a stable job duebecause she dedicated her life to raising my brother and me . We live with my grandmother; She provides for my mother, brother, and I.

I have transferred schools nearly every year of high school due to bullying. I found it difficult to make friends, and for thateven though I always had this desire to fit into social crowds. With that being said, I failed a lot of classes my sophomore year. Once the year ended, it was like a wakeup call. I was not happy with my failing grades - nobody would be . I enrolled in any summer school and online class to make up those grades. By the end of my junior year, my grades were raised, and I was no longer failing . I am proud of my efforts and I still have college dreams. I realized that it does not matter where you go to school - what matters is sitting down and doing the work.

As I am unsure of any career decisions, I have some interest within science. I enjoy volunteering after school with my previous AP Environmental Science class to clean up my school campus. Additionally, I am the president of my school's American Red Cross Club where I inform youth on disasters around the world. I had a Biracial Club my junior year, where I have connected with those with other ethnicities as well. (<- this doesn't really relate to your interest in science ) I also have experience teaching children basic Biology at the Riverside Arts and Innovations Festival. I enjoy helping and teaching others, along with anything science related.

From a young age, I have faced many obstacles. I have not always made the best choices academically and that is not something I am proud of. But, I have always worked hard to do better whenever I have stumbled and I am proud of myself for that. I hope you can see that school is my number one priority and that I am determined to succeed . I have learned from my mistakes and I am determined to succeed.

red = my edit
blue = additional commentary
Ruxi   
Dec 23, 2014
Undergraduate / Brown PLME - Since I could walk and talk, I have always aspired to be a doctor. [2]

Do you feel my essay answers the question? Additionally are there any sentences that are hard to read/don't make sense? Any grammatical corrections and any suggestions on how to improve the essay would be greated appreciated :)

2. Since the Program in Liberal Medical Education espouses a broad-based liberal education, please describe your fields of interest in both the sciences and the liberal arts. Be specific about what courses and aspects of the program will be woven into a potential educational plan. (Please limit your response to this question to 500 words.)

Since I could walk and talk, I have always aspired to be a doctor. However, I have discovered additional interests throughout my educational journey thus far. Along with science, which would be my main area of study, I also have a great interest in music. Truthfully, I could have a hundred undergraduate degrees and still find courses that interest me. Nevertheless, since my time as an undergraduate is finite, I plan to make the most of my undergraduate degree by pursuing all passions that I have discovered hitherto.

In the field of science, the complexities of the human body fascinate me like nothing else I have encountered so far in my academic journey. Genetics particularly mesmerize me; I find it incredibly interesting how different combinations of four nitrogenous bases dictate the whole of a person's genetic makeup. As such, I would be interested in taking both the "Genetics" and "Molecular Genetics" courses at Brown while I am pursuing a concentration in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology. I am also quite interested in Neuroscience and would therefore take "Principles of Neurobiology" to understand the fundamentals processes of the brain. I find science especially appealing as a field of study because the field is always evolving, new discoveries are made every day, and I will never run out of new ideas of explore.

As much as I enjoy the sciences, having a creative outlet such as music is what keeps me sane. I have been playing the piano for 12 years now, 9 of which comprised of formal study with a teacher. However, for the past 3 years, my musical education has been exclusively self-directed. Concurrently, it is within these last 3 years that I have come to appreciate my passion of playing the piano. Music provides me with an outlet to express myself that simultaneously revitalizes me. Of the music courses that Brown offers, "Theory of Tonal Music", "Advanced Musicianship", "Baroque and Classical Music", and "Romantic and Modern Music" are all incredibly appealing to me. I would love to find a way to combine my passions of science and music during my time at Brown. If fact, I have been entertaining the idea of potentially researching ways in which music affects cognitive development.

In summation, I feel the PLME program would be perfect fit for me because it encourages a true liberal education. I have developed two distinct passions thus far, with additional passions I do not have room to mention, and I do not want to be limited in my options of study during my undergraduate degree. I feel cutting myself off from either my scientific or artistic interests would be detriment to my education. I am confident the PLME program would allow me to pursue all my passions while preparing for and receiving a world-class medical education. The opportunity to construct my own academic path will ensure that I find harmony between my musical passions and my desire to become a successful physician.
Ruxi   
Dec 23, 2014
Undergraduate / Looking back who I was and who I am today makes me see how much I had changed - 'why NYU?' [2]

Coming to the U.S four years ago changed my perspective of the world. It helped me to see that the world wasn't the way I thought it was back when I was living in my country.there was so much more that could have never see if I would never have come. NYU is the perfect places to meet connect with people from different backgrounds. It's the place where people from all over the world join and work together for just one goal; to make a difference in the world. Their (who's global community?? ) global community is full of unique people unafraid to share their particular perspectives of the world would help me to develop my own unique perspective that would eventually help me to distinguish among other engineers. (<- run on sentence ) The NYU liberal curriculum will allow me to focus in my major while developing my interest in foreign languages. Attending to a high school as diverse as my made me to discover my interest for foreign cultures and languages. the Core program will allow me to pursue a minor in a foreign language while pursuing a major in engineering. The curriculum will also help to discover new interest by taking courses that will make explore different subjects and will give an open mind of the world. The global academic centers will give the opportunity to spend my first or second year at NYU studying in another country while immersing in the live and culture of the country. Being located in the New York, NYU can offer me the opportunity of having the city as my classroom.

Looking back on who I was and who I am today makes me see how much I had changed. I am not the shy girl who had a hard time making friends and was afraid of speaking her mind. Moving to the U.S helped me to discover myself and show me the things I am capable of doing with effort and determination. I am excited of bringing my ideas to a community where I can truly be myself. Living in Peru for the most part of my (of your what? ) and experiencing in firsthand what is like to be poor life taught me to appreciate the things I have. I hope to use my background and personal experience to help others and contribute to NYU diversity by bringing a part of my country and its culture. I truly believe that NYU is the perfect place to discover myself and the place where I would learn to use my knowledge to help others.

red = edits I made
blue = unclear
Ruxi   
Dec 23, 2014
Undergraduate / Writing, Enneads, Sandy Shores and Never Ending Learning - Brown Supplementary Questions [5]

"I first dove into writing at age 9, enlightening my performance arts teacher that I could re-write 'A midsummers dream' much better. I was assigned the role of bottom " this sentence is kind of unclear - I don't totally understand what you're trying to convey.

Everywhere I have lived, I find a sandy shore, I am beckoned to it, whether it be the Arabian Oman Gulf, muggy tropics of Sri Lanka, dazzling seaside of M orocco, crisp British seas, or where I refer to as homeland, Australia. I have had the privilege of following my father, a nomadic telecommunications CEO all over the globe. To date he has lived in 14 countries, I have never permanently resided by law in another country, however I do stay for extended periods, and travel regularly to see him.I have been to over 25 countries and calling almost 5 of them home.

Your supplementary looks good :) Would you mind reading mine over too?
Ruxi   
Dec 23, 2014
Undergraduate / It's perfect union between my passions of biology and chemistry, and my passion for helping others [2]

I would appreciate any and all feedback :) Do you feel I am answering the questions completely? Are any of my sentences awkward/unclear?

1. Most high school seniors are unsure about eventual career choices. What experiences have led you to consider medicine as your future profession? Please describe specifically why you have chosen to apply to the Program in Liberal Medical Education in pursuit of your career in medicine. Also, be sure to indicate your rationale on how the PLME is a "good fit" for your personal, academic, and future professional goals. (Please limit your response to this question to 500 words.)

I remember when I was only 5 years old, I would hear an ambulance rush past my house, and I would tell my parents "One day, that's going to be my ambulance". I'm not sure what initially sparked my interest in medicine but all I know is that I've always yearned to be a doctor. Medicine is the perfect union between my passions of biology and chemistry, and my passion for helping others and leaving a positive impact on the world.

My interest in medicine was reaffirmed when I was given the opportunity to study human anatomy at Queen's University. I was in complete awe at the elegance, intricacy and genius of the human body's design. Additionally, I had the opportunity to observe cadavers and determine their cause of death. I had initial hesitations pertaining to the cadavers having never seen a deceased human being before. Although once I realized what a rare and amazing opportunity was made available to me, to study a human body in such close proximity, the cadavers promptly became much less daunting and much more interesting. I had nothing but the utmost respect for the people who donated their bodies to further the education of countless students. Since my experience at Queen's University, my desire to become a doctor has only been growing stronger. In fact, every doctor I have had the pleasure of meeting has inspired me to devote my life to saving other's lives with patience, empathy, and acceptance.

The PLME itself is an excellent fit for my academic and future professional goals because I am always looking for a new challenge. The PLME would allow me to pursue my bountiful passions as an undergrad in order to become an active learner, while also maintaining my aspiration of becoming a doctor. There is so much to learn, and I feel that limiting myself to studying science in the hopes of attending medical school while disregarding the arts would be detriment to my education. As for my personal goals, I desire to look back on my life and feel satisfied that I made a positive impact within the world. With a world population greater than seven billion, there is so much potential to impact the world for good. That is why with my life, I would like to deliver hope to families, and fight against grim odds to allow people to return to living their lives in the hopes that my positive impact upon their life will inspire them to positively impact others.

The PLME program is an exceptional opportunity to evolve into a mature, well-rounded and superlative doctor. It would be an honour to be considered for acceptance into such a prestigious program. Should I be accepted, I vow to work hard every day to make sure to prosper after being afforded an unparalleled opportunity to fulfill my personal, academic and professional goals.

2. MOD comment:One essay at one time please
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