LunarEclipse
Jan 13, 2015
Undergraduate / 4 feet 10 inches faced, black eyes, brown hair, slender body and a little sense of humor [3]
"4 feet 10 inches faced" what do you mean by faced? Are you talking about the person's height or the dimensions of their face? I think you should use a different word
4 feet 10 inches faced, black eyes, brown hair, slender body and a little sense of humor was a complete description of Vijay. Vijay was dark-skinned, I was light-skinned. Vijay was from Kolkata,a city in west Bengal. Kati roll, a famous dish of Kolkata was his favorite dish which he ate in a way that annoyed me. "My country, India, is one with a diverse culture with each state having its on diverse culture but those of the west and south were two extremes which was a major difference between Vijay and me". <--- rephrase this sentence. It's a run on and the tenses are a bit mixed up.
He originated from the north while I originated from the east.
He was a transfer student from Kolkata and came to Chennai because of his dad's job transfer. On the first day of 10th grade, our class teacher made me sit near him and from then on I learned more about him . In the 2nd semester we had to do a chemistry project that required students to work in pairs, thus our chemistry teacher assigned Vijay to be my partner making me think "how could I cope?" this proximity <-- i don't know if this is the right word. Try a different word.
made me realize more disparities between us. But this project was very important for us as it counted for final exams grade.S/font]o, I decided to keep my difference s aside and team up and tackle the obstacle. We sat down and spoke to each other resolving our differences and worked on the project as a team and when we submitted our project <--- this whole sentence is a run on. Try taking out all the ends and connecting the sentences or just creating separate sentences. " When we submitted our project" is a fragment, you didnt finish your sentence.
After the project, we became like a matchbox and /font] matchstick, we needed each other to produce light which was evident in other activities. Such activities included heading the NCC in the school's Inter-house Sport competition, volunteer community services and so many others. My encounter and relationship with Vijay made me realize that diversity is not a barrier to peaceful coexistence but productive living.
"4 feet 10 inches faced" what do you mean by faced? Are you talking about the person's height or the dimensions of their face? I think you should use a different word
4 feet 10 inches faced, black eyes, brown hair, slender body and a little sense of humor was a complete description of Vijay. Vijay was dark-skinned, I was light-skinned. Vijay was from Kolkata,a city in west Bengal. Kati roll, a famous dish of Kolkata was his favorite dish which he ate in a way that annoyed me. "My country, India, is one with a diverse culture with each state having its on diverse culture but those of the west and south were two extremes which was a major difference between Vijay and me". <--- rephrase this sentence. It's a run on and the tenses are a bit mixed up.
He originated from the north while I originated from the east.
He was a transfer student from Kolkata and came to Chennai because of his dad's job transfer. On the first day of 10th grade, our class teacher made me sit near him and from then on I learned more about him . In the 2nd semester we had to do a chemistry project that required students to work in pairs, thus our chemistry teacher assigned Vijay to be my partner making me think "how could I cope?" this proximity <-- i don't know if this is the right word. Try a different word.
made me realize more disparities between us. But this project was very important for us as it counted for final exams grade.S/font]o, I decided to keep my difference s aside and team up and tackle the obstacle. We sat down and spoke to each other resolving our differences and worked on the project as a team and when we submitted our project <--- this whole sentence is a run on. Try taking out all the ends and connecting the sentences or just creating separate sentences. " When we submitted our project" is a fragment, you didnt finish your sentence.
After the project, we became like a matchbox and /font] matchstick, we needed each other to produce light which was evident in other activities. Such activities included heading the NCC in the school's Inter-house Sport competition, volunteer community services and so many others. My encounter and relationship with Vijay made me realize that diversity is not a barrier to peaceful coexistence but productive living.