Writing Feedback / The effect of technology on the interaction between people [2]

This is an IELTS task 2 which I wrote today. Can anyone tell me what score i'll likely get for it? thanks in advance.

Q: Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
Has this become a positive or negative development?

A: There is no doubt that in the recent years technology has contributed heavily in the shaping our world. One of the areas affected by technology is the social relationships. There is a constant debate about to what extent the technology has reshaped our relationships and whether this is a beneficial or harmful renovation. In my own prespective, there are both positive and negative developments and I will discuss them in detail.

Making life easier is the major concern of technological developments. In contrast to the history of mankind, doing ordinary activites was not any bit easier. For example, people can talk to each other even if they are hundreds of thousands miles apart. Even within the same residence, they can do a lot of enjoyable activities. Also, using today's technology, you can perform much more complicated tasks in a matter of seconds e.g. arithematic calculations and checking world news. Therefore, people now has more free time to connect with each other than before.

Unfortunately, making life easier does not imply necessarily making it happier and this has been the issue with recent technology. Some technological advances have already managed to make people more isolated even if this is not evident. Considering the huge amount of information you can learn from the internet, relying on people from our surroundings has decreased notably. This internet-dependence has resulted in a new form of virtual relationships between people which are usually short-term and may be even dangerous.

In conclusion, technology has definitely changed the way by which people interact with each other. I think that both positive effects such as connecting remote people and saving time as long as negative effects like creating virtual relationships and isolating people from their surroundings must be taken in consideration when we consider the actual impact of technology. It is recommended though that these effected will be studied comprehensively to accurately assess the value of technology in our lives.

Writing Feedback / The role of universities in providing students with the proper education and consequently a good job [2]

One of my IELTS task 2 essays.

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.

What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university!

Nowadays, higher education is the best portal to highly intellectual employees. this requirement hasn't been a demand for the work market until recently. Due to the growing use of technical devices with specialized softwares, physical abilities -in most cases- are no longer needed. As a result, there's an increased debate about the role of universities in preparing students for their future jobs. Some people think that it should provide graduates wit the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that it should only give access to knowledge for its own sake .For me, I agree with the latter opinion. I think that providing students with the skills needed in their workplaces will affect the amount of knowledge they will acquire in universities and will limit their job choices in the long run

As a matter of fact, All university study programs has a curriculum which is restricted by a schedule with specific activities. If the the universities add to their program a time to teach job skills, the professors will have to cut down the time needed for theoretical teaching .For example, studying medicine is a very long and hard process which requires time and devotion. Asking the students to practice medicine beside their study will absolutely have a negative effects on their concentration and eventually on their total knowledge. the not-well-qualified medical practiotioner will need more time to be as their colleagues and to get good job opportunities.

In the current time, scientific fields are rapidly converging and are very dependent on each other.so, hence it's not a wise step to prepare a student with the skills required for a certain profession ignoring the others. If we look at an engineering student, he can work in many fields e.g. architecture, programming, mathematics and even in medical appliances. Tightening the prospects of a young person by teaching him the skills for one job- which will also result in limiting his knowledge as I mentioned before- will affect the community and the work market badly and it may even increase the rate of unemployment.

so, it's evident that if universities provided graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace, they would have less knowledge to work with and fewer job choices to select from. therefore, I totally disagree to engage universities in the process of training graduates job skills. At the end, I ask graduate students to focus on their studies and to putt off the job training for now.

Writing Feedback / Two totally different opinions about how we can prepare our kids to be good community members [3]

Hello everybody, I will take my IELTS exam next month and I want you to have a look at some examples of my writings. I'm required to get at least band 7 score in writing.

Here's the question:

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The answer:

The rapidly change social and psychological circumstances in the current era has posed a new challenge on behaving children. There's an ever growing debate about the best way to teach children how to be good members of the society. Some people think it's the role of the parents to behave their children but others think that the school is the best place to learn this.I will discuss both opinions in detail.

It's believed by some that parents should teach children god manners and make them good members of the society. This may be a reasonable point of view as parents can keep an eye on their children constantly .For example, parents can know whom exactly their children meet and what they do so, they can give them proper advices. Also, these people think that it's not wise for the parents to depend totally on the school because different schools may have different attitudes towards common ethical and social issues. Therefore, it became a matter of fact for these people that parents are the best route to teaching children good manners.

On the contrary, others think that school is the place where being a good society member can be learnt. Their beliefs has also some positive points. They see the school as the most social place that a child can be in "and from where else can them learn social skills" say some. They count also on the school being a good place to learn a lot of skills like arts and sports. Hence, the acknowledge the school as a place to teach children ethics and good manners.

As shown here, there are two totally different opinions about how can we prepare our kids to be good community members. In my opinion, I think that no one of the two is completely wrong. I believe that co-operation between school teachers and parents can have more better results depending on only one of them. So, I recommend increasing awareness of the role of both the parents and the school in behaving children to achieve better results.