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Posts by arcoyy
Name: KayJay
Joined: Jul 10, 2015
Last Post: Jul 13, 2015
Threads: 3
Posts: 3  

From: China

Displayed posts: 6
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arcoyy   
Jul 13, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS: the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities [4]

hi, buddy, please help me to polish my IELTS essay. Thanks in advance!!

Again, please note you will get suspended when you post one more useless comment in other students' posts. Laziness is not a good excuse here.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Exercises are believed to be one of an effective ways to improve public health. Therefore, it is argued by some people that more sports facilities should be constructed. On the contrary, others believe this mode is ineffectiveness and that other policies should be adopted to keep fit.

Supporters state that the construction of sport facilities can enhance the chance of people doing exercise especially for those who want to do physical training while have no place to go. Modern people prefer to go to gyms or places with professional equipment to build up their bodies. Therefore, more sport facilities in communities meaning more accesses to do exercise, especially for those workaholics who always busy with their jobs having no time to go to gyms where are always far away from their home, the extent of convenience is one of the determining factors for them to do physical trainings.

However, opponents argue that it is a waste of money to construct more facilities and some of them are of vacancy as people don't like or have little time to enhance physical fitness. As a matter of fact, it is the unhealthy life-style, such as stay up late, sit stationary staring at computers while working, that contributes to the deterioration of modern people's physical fitness. Moreover, unhealthy dietary behavior is another significant factor to obesity, which believed by some experts, one of the main contributors to heart or other fatal diseases. Hence other actions should be advocated by governments, like spending money to held public lectures to instruct people how to keep fit, to make citizens realize their unhealthy life-styles.

As far as I am concerned, for developed countries where have perfect sport facilities for public, other policies should be adopted to improve the situation, while for developing countries where still have a scarcity of fitness equipment, governments should pay extremely attention to build up more facilities for citizens to do physical exercise.
arcoyy   
Jul 11, 2015
Writing Feedback / More and more senior high schools require students take part in some voluntary activities [NEW]

hi, everyone, please help me polish my IELTS essay. Thanks a lot :)

Demanding Students To Work for a Non-Profit Organization



More and more senior high schools require students take part in some voluntary activities during their studies. It is believed that it would benefit societies and students in several aspects. To my own opinion, I tend to support this action.

To begin with, it is patent that the community could benefit economically and socially from these activities. On the one hand, with the contribution of volunteers, the charity organization could save large amounts of money and other resources which generally used to hire social workers to help others in needing. On the other hand, the intensive atmosphere between neighbours could be relieved and the community culture could become friendly when students play the role of mediators and cultural builders. Moreover, it benefits the whole community that students who involved with unpleasant relationships would be prone to avoid such a quarrel between their neighbours when they become adolescents.

Secondly, it could help to foster students' personal and social responsibilities. By participating in voluntary works, students could realize their self-achievements which promote their confidence and consciousness of individual responsibilities to be good citizens. Furthermore, the senior high school students have the ability to meet the challenge. For example, having mastered essential learning skill, they could exert fully to help younger children with studying problems.

Last but not least, it enhances the possibility of student's future employment. Skills acquired through practice could not only be added into their CV but also improve their ability to be competent for their future jobs. In addition, involving into unpaid community services, students could have a clear mind on their future career and they may find themselves fond of working for a non-profit organization.

To put all these statements into a nutshell, it is convincing that both students and communities could benefit significantly by demanding senior high students as volunteers to involve into social services.
arcoyy   
Jul 10, 2015
Writing Feedback / Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary [2]

hello, everyone, i'm a new-comer. Please help me polish this IELTS essay. Thanks a lot!

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?


It is widely recommended by some educationalists that the children should be taught a foreign language at a younger age. However, there are some pros and cops by doing this.

The supporters hold the opinion that the child is more prone to acquire skills of learning language as they are less self-conscious and self-discipline. The primary students are easier to shape than middle school students as they are learning their mother language and getting accustomed to the tongue and pronunciation. Moreover, they are not limited to the disciplines that are full of norms and dogmas. Also, more time and energy could be used for them to study non-native languages as they have more time than middle school students who should cope with a couple of subjects that are full of complexity.

On the contrary, opponents state that younger children would lose their interests in learning foreign languages with inappropriate teaching methods. Lack of professional training, the teachers at elementary school would have poor teaching skills which cause the learning obstacles for students. In addition, it may lead to the confusion when the children learn their mother language and foreign language at the same time as the different cultural and social background. Last but not least, the child prefers to play rather than to study at their younger age, and there are some other qualities and abilities, such as how to know the nature and how to communicate with their peers, that they should acquire rather than to accumulate more languages.

In conclusion, as far as I am concern, even though there are some benefits for the primary school students to learn foreign language, they should spend more time to improve their learning and communicating ability.
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