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Posts by fhmashayekhi
Name: Fahim
Joined: Sep 2, 2015
Last Post: Sep 10, 2015
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
From: Iran

Displayed posts: 7
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fhmashayekhi   
Sep 10, 2015
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Independent TASK_Family or Friends teach people more important lessons [2]

People are mostly affected by their friends and family and learn the most important lessons from them. Some people argue that whether the most precious points are learned by family or friends. Childhood, when people have the most ability to learn, is mainly spend by parent. In addition, except adolescence, people rely more on parents than friends. For these reasons, I believe that we learn the more important things from our parents.

During childhood and infancy, children imitate every movements of their parents. Their personality, intelligence, health conditions, and beliefs are influenced during this time more than any other period of life. On the other hand, it is when bulk of the time is spent by family. So, children learn the most vital lessons from family members during childhood. For example, when parents or other siblings play with them, children learn lots of lessons about the way of dealing with their problems, competition, and cooperation. Also, the main criteria, which are based of people thoughts, form during childhood and youth. This beliefs are the key factors in future decision makings. therefore, people are significantly influenced by their family.

In addition, When there is a difficulty in life, family members are the first people that are asked for help. people, also, consult about every aspect of their life with them. This is the result of people faith in their family especially their parents and spouse. This trust is due to family members affection and recognition. For example, a man's wife both know him better than anyone else and have common goals with him, so he depend on her for lots of his decisions. These confidence lead to learning of many important lessons in life through discussions and the time spent with each other. However, people prefer to talk with their friends about many subjects such as their conflict with their parents or spouse and get direction from them, but I think it is not considerable in comparison to the lessons learned from family members.

To sum up, it is concluded that the people learn more important lessons from their family rather than their friends. One reason is associating childhood, the time with high ability to learn, with family members. Second reason is the trust of people in their family that make them the first priority to consult about the most crucial issues in life.
fhmashayekhi   
Sep 10, 2015
Undergraduate / My mother has shown me the right path to take in life among others how to giving back to community [4]

My second reason is my mother impact on me through her giving back to the community, it makes me to give back to others and assist needy people. My mom was always involved with church services and free lunches.

Once, I decided to help her out. Seeing that what my mom did and her supports had great influence on people,through there years, convinced me to do the same.

I can not understand this sentence completely: " I decided to spend my much earned money from shoveling drive ways that I would go out "

I hope these comments would be useful.
fhmashayekhi   
Sep 3, 2015
Writing Feedback / High school students should voluntarily participate in payable community services [3]

I think it is better to paraphrase " in the opinion of some people" by "some people opinion is that".

In some sentences, you miss the verb:

"voluntary community service should be a mandatory part of high school programmes"
"community service in high school programmes will be very helpful and important for the students"
fhmashayekhi   
Sep 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / Youth is wasted on the young [4]

TOEFL independent writing task

People are very energetic and creative in their youth. Some of the young people get the most out of these period and use their energy in the best way. However, most of the young waste their precious time and energy because of not defining their goal or being indolent.

The first step to be successful is the determination of goals. When people aims are not specified, they can not manage their time in the best way because they do not find any reason to try hard. Teenagers usually are not completely sure about their future career. Sometimes, they are confused about different paths that they can choose. For example, my friend's parents expected her to study medicine in the college but her interest was in music. This conflict wasted a lot of her time arguing with her parents until she made her decision. Therefore, the lack of specified goal result in the less usage of available energy, intelligence, and time in the youth.

Most of the young people prefer to have fun rather than to work hard. People usually inclined to be with their friends and enjoy going to parties and travel in their youth. In addition, it is very difficult for parents to persuade them to stay at home and study hard or spend time learning a new skill or a new sport. Sleeping is also very enjoyable in these ages. Although having fun is necessary for the young, they often spend time more than necessary for this activity which finally waste their valuable time.

In conclusion, it is considered that the young usually do not completely use their incredible ability to learn and work. This is due to lack of determination of the goals or their intention of having fun and being with their friends.
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