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Posts by Octocaesar
Name: Gaff John E. Chiefe
Joined: Oct 27, 2015
Last Post: Nov 14, 2015
Threads: 3
Posts: 8  
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Displayed posts: 11
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Octocaesar   
Nov 14, 2015
Scholarship / Primary versus Secondary Education - Advantages of Teaching Foreign Language [8]

Hello! Thank you for your response.

IELTS have indicated that they would give more points on complex sentences than the simple ones. I guess what they want is the skill to compose complex yet understandable sentences in academic tone.

And yes, it was indicated in the graph. I could post a snapshot of the graph later for reference. Thank you.
Octocaesar   
Nov 8, 2015
Scholarship / Primary versus Secondary Education - Advantages of Teaching Foreign Language [8]

@justivy03

Thank you so much. I was just wondering, to what extent can a sentence be in its most complex form?

Here is an example I made. I'm not sure if it is complex enough but I'm in doubt if it still holds meaning and grammatical correctness:

Initially, in the year 2000, it was the voluntary-controlled schools who had the highest number of admissions at 52%, seconded by grammar schools (24%); both the specialist and community schools were at the bottom with both 12%.
Octocaesar   
Nov 1, 2015
Scholarship / Primary versus Secondary Education - Advantages of Teaching Foreign Language [8]

Also, regarding the point you made about the survey in 2014, I think your writing would be stronger if you could possibly add an in text citation for that survey so that it doesn't seem made up.

How do you think should I go with an in text citation?

Also, IT IS MADE UP. Will credibility affect my IELTS score?

Thank you so much.
Octocaesar   
Nov 1, 2015
Scholarship / Primary versus Secondary Education - Advantages of Teaching Foreign Language [8]

Greetings. Please judge me harshly, for my own benefit.

I was asked if the advantages of teaching Foreign Language to students in secondary education outweigh to that of teaching the same subject to students in the primary education. Did I phrase that question correctly? I basically understood it in a way that I have to do a comparison between them and take a stand at the end.

All throughout the human history, Education has consistently evolved in response to our society's needs and resources. One major subject that has been affected constantly by the evolution of education is Foreign Language. Some would question its essence and relevance, arguing that it should be taught before pupils reach secondary school. Though there might be a considerable amount of advantages and disadvantages, I personally believe that Foreign Language can be most effectively taught during primary education.

It can be argued that secondary school students have higher awareness on knowledge consumption making them more receptive in learning new languages. Whilst younger students in primary school tend to be unfocused academically rendering average teaching strategies ineffective. In relation to this, a survey has found in 2014 that high-school students are 30% more focused academically compared to elementary students. This is an apparent disadvantage of teaching Foreign Language earlier than secondary education.

A strong advantage of introducing secondary language to primary students is that linguistic learning happens more effectively during school age. Though focus is not their greatest ability during school age years, elementary students possess juvenile left brain hemispheres capable of picking up new vocabularies. A novel example would be the current phenomena where Filipino kids already know hot to speak conversational English without formal education. Apparently, they have learned that this is an evidence worth noting of.

In general perspective, injecting Foreign Language to the curriculum of either primary or secondary education entails certain positive and negative outcomes. Although, I personally think that teaching secondary languages should happen as early as possible. It is when children are curious and interested with their linguistic abilities.
Octocaesar   
Nov 1, 2015
Scholarship / My ability to innovative, past experience and my future plan - UK questions essay [2]

Hello Rayan82,

I am impressed with your experience and skills.

At any rate, you have to make sure your punctuation are all in the right places. Your sentence structures could be right, I'm not sure, but they look informal as they are not correctly lined up. Use paragraphing, punctuation, and organization.

Good luck.
Octocaesar   
Nov 1, 2015
Undergraduate / Life Anime; chemistry teacher as a goal - University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign [3]

Hello @LilBuddha,

Your essay is quite entertaining; I love anime too!

I am not an expert of College Essays but I believe academic institutions get more impressed with formal essays.

It might help if you organize your thoughts in a way that after they have been through your essay, they will definitely accept you into their institution.

You might also want to add more writing on how determined you are. Include all the things you are willing to do to comply with the institution's standards such as working hard and sacrificing some leisure time if needed.

If I were you, I would also include a very specific topic or concept in chemistry to let them know how interested I am. I would write: what interests me most is the wide range of elements which possess unique characteristics as if they were real personality with certain affinity and repulsion to each other.

That's all I have. Don't take it seriously though, I could be wrong.
Octocaesar   
Nov 1, 2015
Writing Feedback / Companies should allocate a certain percentage of job positions to women. Do you agree? [4]

The only thing I would say to do is to maybe re-word the ending or add an ending that's a little bit stronger with more resonance, but other than that there's not much to say, well done.

Thank you. Yes, I think you are right. I have a difficulty getting an acceptable conclusion due to time constraints. I spend so much time with introduction and the body that sometimes I get a very weak second-to-last and conclusion. Do you have any tips on how to come up with a strong conclusion? Forty minutes just does not cut it.

strenghten your body paragraph with example and result.

I always overlook it! I tend to be persuaded by the length of my body paragraphs I forget to set a specific example. Thank you so much for reviewing. More power!

Then, you need to present your claim, which should be debatable. By doing so, I believe that your opening paragraph looks more appealing.

I will seriously apply this to my next essay.

@eddies
The task is to introduce your claim by stating a good sentence for the topic - NOTED
Then this is followed by an example - NOTED

Indeed, I missed to give good examples. I will apply it next time.

I am not so familiar with 5W+1H, it seems tedious; it might take too much time for me to formulate it. Although, I will look it up and practice on it until I get used to it and do it more quickly.

@eddies
The conclusion part always gets me. Frock it. I'm going to pull and all-nighter tonight to get it right.

Thank you so much guys. You are all the best.
Octocaesar   
Oct 27, 2015
Writing Feedback / Do you agree that women should be given equal chance to participate in the military? [3]

*The exact task/question for this exercise has been lost. I understand that you may not be able to determine if I answered the essay question correctly, could you assess if the organization, grammar, and cohesion/cohesiveness of my Academic IELTS Task 2 composition are sound?

Women has excelled in so many fields in today's world. They have asserted their competence proving themselves capable of competing with men's best representatives. Politics, science, and academe are some of the fields they excel in. Whist some people disagree with women's participation in the men-dominated army, navy, and air force, I strongly support the argument that they should be given the same chance as men to unquestionably participate in military service.

Our modern world has evolved so much that even in military, physiologic supremacy is an obsolete requirement for soldiers. Varied positions are now available which can be filled in by any qualified personnel regardless of sex. A good example would be piloting drones.

Another argument to assert women's right in participating the army is the fact that women tend to be better organizers than their opposite counterpart. Military is not just about muscles, in fact it encompasses extensive discipline in following strict protocols. A study has proven that women are 20% more likely to adhere with defined standards of their assigned tasks; this is a strong evidence, putting women ahead of the men in terms of service efficiency.

Lastly, cognitive ability is considered an important aspect of military personnel in relation to completing missions requiring extraordinary measures. The latest survey of the Department of Secondary Education has proven that more girls pass highschool competency exams than boys. It would indicate that women are more suitable in military works which need intellectual prowess.

In conclusion, there are so many reasons why women's contributions in military must not be doubted, but praised since they surpass men in some areas in military service.
Octocaesar   
Oct 27, 2015
Writing Feedback / Companies should allocate a certain percentage of job positions to women. Do you agree? [4]

*The exact task/question for this exercise has been lost. I understand that you may not be able to determine if I answered the essay question correctly, could you assess if the organization, grammar, and cohesion/cohesiveness of my Academic IELTS Task 2 composition are sound?

Question as I vaguely remember: Companies should allocate a certain percentage of job positions to women. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

Women, who have been deprived from working in certain fields in our history, have found themselves excelling in different industries today. De-mystified by our current society, females proved themselves to be integral part of any work force conceivable. In light of this, some people suggest that companies must be compelled to assign women to high-level positions - which, according to certain individuals, is a position monopolized by men. However, I sincerely do not believe that this will have a beneficial effect to any parties. This can even negatively affect gender equality as it forces a group of individuals to assume a certain role without considering their own self-determination. On the other hand, education and performance would be suitable gauges in determining who deserves any position - may it be low- or high-ranking.

Gender equality is an ideology that essentially seeks to break limitations set by archaic stereotyping and to provide a society where opportunities of any genders are all equal. Requiring companies would then set a minimum limit of women allowed to work in an institution which in effect, force the society to create a new for of stereotyping: women are required to fill-in a high-level position.

Furthermore, education and proven track record are better criteria in appointing company employees than percentages of any kind. The goal of the company is to maximize its productivity therefore they must choose those who are able to demonstrate great adaptability from extensive knowledge in their field and a discernible past record that shows their excellence, regardless of sex roles.

In an overall perspective, forcing corporations to hire females just because they are compelled to is an offensive gesture affecting not only the company but our society as well. Nevertheless, there are other methods to determine who gets appointed such as educational background and past experiences.
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