Posts by Dennis65 [Suspended]

Dennis65

Aug 22, 2016

Scholarship / Describe your motivation and commitment to return to Africa after graduation and out line a brief pr [3]

With a degree in Mass Communication, I will be fit to return to my motherland, Africa. My ulterior motive for returning will be to create a literate and modern Africa.

Being a developing continent, Africa faces a lot of challenges and set backs. The major challenge faced by Africa is illiteracy, illiteracy can be conquered through education. I will create an online education system that will enable the inhabitants of Africa to learn oral and written skills. This way illiteracy will be conquered.

Working with the United Unions and World Health Organisation to provide and delivery better and quality health services to Africa is one of the agendas I have for my motherland. Training and educating more doctors, nurses, and health personals will help lessen the high rates of HIV/AIDS, Malaria, Measles, Tuberculosis, Diarrhoead and Pneumoniae which the continent has recorded over the recent years.

My other plan to put a stop to corruption. Corruption largely contributes to the Africa's underdevelopment and high rate of unemployment. I intend to tackle this issues by raising public awareness through the media.

Dennis65

Aug 22, 2016

Scholarship / WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED IN STUDYING AT UBC? HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF FITTING INTO THE UBC COMMUNITY? [8]

Thank Ivy, I will definitely work on my essay

Dennis65

Aug 22, 2016

Writing Feedback / Being a tourist destination country has flaw effects like littering, pollution, prostitution, etc. [3]

Your essay is well written but next time kindly pay extra attention to your sentences because they are poorly constructed.

Dennis65

Aug 22, 2016

Writing Feedback / The kids are alright - if you leave them alone [3]

Greetings.. I agree with everything that Inchanpants has said. Pay more attention to your sentence construction, make sure that you words connects so that you come up with a good sentence.

Dennis65

Aug 8, 2016

Scholarship / WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED IN STUDYING AT UBC? HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF FITTING INTO THE UBC COMMUNITY? [8]

Thank very much, I now understand what you guy are saying. I will redraft my essay then post it again.

Dennis65

Aug 5, 2016

Scholarship / WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED IN STUDYING AT UBC? HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF FITTING INTO THE UBC COMMUNITY? [8]

Thank you very much but I'd appreciate if you would give me an example maybe in one or two sentences.

Dennis65

Aug 4, 2016

Scholarship / WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED IN STUDYING AT UBC? HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF FITTING INTO THE UBC COMMUNITY? [8]

Annually ranked in the top forty of the QS rankings, UBC is ranked among the best universities in the world. It is for this and many other reason that I'm very interested in studying at UBC. UBC offer great and quality knowledge to its students and researchers, knowledge which when applied to the world and community can influence decison making. UBC has educated some of world's great leaders and people, among them are three Canadian prime ministers, most recently Justin Trudeau, the incumbent.

UBC has a great conducive environment which makes learning, studying,and researching easy and productive. Furthermore, UBC appreciates, respects, and recognizes diversity as a vital key in creating a good learning environment. The university also has great professors and lecturers who offer good knowledge to students.

I believe I will fit in perfectly in UBC's community because of character and academic goals. I'm a very hardworking, self motivated, and one who respects and appreciates diversity, I know very student is unique as an individual. My academic goals include being the best among the best and being a good role model to other students.

In addition to the above, I see myself fitting in because of my vision for the future. UBC educates students who will contribute to the world policy making decision. Students and researchers who will make the.world. a.better place where each person can be at there level best. I habe the similar vision for the future as thay of UBC. I believe that one man can Change the world into a better place.

Dennis65

Jul 11, 2016

Scholarship / Why I feel that I deserve this scholarship (150 words) [9]

Thank you very much for the positive feedbacks everyone, I will take your comments into consideration.

Dennis65

Jul 11, 2016

Undergraduate / I was not awarded the scholarship - I began to view myself as a failure... [10]

Thank you very much, I will take keep that in mind.

Dennis65

Jul 7, 2016

Undergraduate / I was not awarded the scholarship - I began to view myself as a failure... [10]

Thanks for the heads up but why did you get Suspended

Dennis65

Jul 4, 2016

Undergraduate / I was not awarded the scholarship - I began to view myself as a failure... [10]

Here's my final edit;
There was once a time in my life when I learnt about Healthy living, to specific, a healthy diet. I tried changing my lifestyle so that I could be disease free and also gain the optimum health and energy for my body. So I set out on a quest to live a healthy and disease free life, this included putting aside dangerous foods such as meat, eggs, milk, smoked fish, fried foods, and all sorts of processed foods that were harmful to my body.

It was so easy imagining a life without all these dangerous foods but to act out of the sentiments of my mind in a world where all these toxic foods are readily available and cheap was one of the hardest things a teenager would do. I decided I was going to stop eating all these foods at once. Firstly I began by stopping to eat eggs and meat but there was an void that needed to be filled by another food and as such, I ate simple foods. However, I wasn't able to last a week without eating eggs whilst seeing them on my table daily. I failed to stop eating eggs even when I knew they were a hazard to my health. It was then when I realized that unless the desire emerges stronger that my appetite, I wouldn't completely stop eating the foods I considered unhealthy.

Soon I learnt that without proper replacements for these foods I would be more unhealthy. I tried to overcome my indulgence of drinking milk, strong and carbonated drinks, and having unhealthy snacks, but I failed in this as well as there were so many snacks and drinks I wouldn't resist.

I become distressed for it seemed there was no way I could learn to eat healthy without jeopardizing my health. I was really miserable because I had failed to attain that high state of health I wanted. I soon learnt that unless I acquire knowledge on a particular diet and lifestyle, it was impossible for me to make the right changes.

In life it's very important not to despair on our mistakes but learn from them. Success wouldn't exist without failure and failure won't exist without success

At a later time in my life, I uses this lesson to strengthen my will power and I searched for knowledge on a healthy diet.

Dennis65

Jul 3, 2016

Undergraduate / Georgetown University essay - discuss extracurricular activity that you are most involved in [7]

Here are my suggestions and I hope they will be of help; try brainstorming further ideas, also try to pick out at least three or four activities that you have have been involved in. Do not just say you were involved in this and that, try to go in detail with each activity or activities you have been involved in. Best wishes

Dennis65

Jul 3, 2016

Writing Feedback / Being a celebrity: a dream or a nightmare? [9]

Your essay is well crafted but there are a few things that you need to elaborate on. Things like in what other ways do the fans envy celebrities? How do the celebrities deal with the pressures that come from fame?

Dennis65

Jun 24, 2016

Scholarship / Why I feel that I deserve this scholarship (150 words) [9]

Thank so much, I will work on my essay

Dennis65

Jun 24, 2016

Undergraduate / I was not awarded the scholarship - I began to view myself as a failure... [10]

Thank you so much, I will make sure my next essay is well written.

Dennis65

Jun 18, 2016

Scholarship / Why I feel that I deserve this scholarship (150 words) [9]

Here's my correction;

I have been involved with the Young African Leaders Initiative (YALI) since 2012. YALI has provides me with virtual resources and skills that have helped me to foster change in my community. The skills YALI impacted in me have helped me to excel in my leadership roles as school perfect and chairperson of the Scripture Union Club. I too in turn impacted the skills I acquired from YALI into others.

Due to my mother's recent death to cancer, I have joined the Cancer Society of Zambia. I have contributed to the society by raising cancer awereness in my community and by donating my blood to cancer patients. I strongly believe that cancer can be defeated through raising awareness and encouraging early screening in women.

Dennis65

Jun 18, 2016

Scholarship / Why I feel that I deserve this scholarship (150 words) [9]

I feel that I deserve this scholarship because I'm a very hardworking, self motivated, disciplined person who takes given responsibilities and duties seriously. Also because of my academic achievements and the activities that I have been involved in which have taught me to lend a helping hand to my community.

I have been involved with the Young African Leaders (YALI) since 2012. The organization helped me to excel in my leadership roles and duties as a high perfect and chairperson of the Scripture Union Club. It has also helped me to develop good leadership skills.

I was a participant in the English Access Micro scholarship program. May I also notify that I am very active in community work frequently volunteering my time.

Due to my mother's recent death to cancer, I have joined the Cancer society of Zambia. My main aim for joining the club is to raise cancer awareness in my community.

In conclusion, I deserve the scholarship because of my academic achievements, community work, and dedication. This I believe constitutes to the fulcrum of being a good student.

Dennis65

Jun 18, 2016

Writing Feedback / 'Appearance is a liar'. SAT-Writing: Style versus substance. [3]

I will help you with the first paragraph and I hope it helps;
Never judge a book it's cover. People in society have many sides. They wear lavish clothes, put on precious jewelry, and have an extraordinary way in which they camouflage themselves.

Dennis65

Jun 17, 2016

Research Papers / Digestion Should Be Effortless [3]

Your essay is well written, however, as I was reading something caught my attention. Instead of saying "research will show" you should have written it as follows, " research shows how digestive issues can be avoided".

Dennis65

Jun 17, 2016

Undergraduate / I was not awarded the scholarship - I began to view myself as a failure... [10]

Recount an incident experienced failure. How did it affect you and what did you learn from the experience

Late 2014 I graduated from high school, according to my country's educational laws, one is supposed to take a break for a year before applying for college. So I took a break as implemented. In October that same year as I was browsing online, I stumbled across a scholarship page and it caught my attention. On this same page, I came across the MasterCard Foundation Scholars Program. This program targeted academic qualificated but yet economically challenged students from Africa. Since I am economically challenged, I took keen interested in the program.

I gather more information about the program; how to apply, the universities that partnered with it, and the qualifications. Among the schools that partnered with the foundation was McGill University. Unaware of McGill's admissions process and entry qualifications for international students, I decided to apply for admission. Several weeks after submitting my application the Admissions Office contacted and informed me of their decision regarding my application. Unfortunately, I was not awarded the scholarship.

The news hit me very badly and I was affected both emotionally and mentally. I began to view myself as a failure, I questioned and doubted my skills and talents. The positive outlook that I had towards life ceased and negativity developed in it's place. For instance, if someone asked for my help regarding school assignments, I would frequently decline because I deemed myself as a failure.

The experience taught me that failure is a part if success. Without failure, success wouldn't exist and without success, failure won't exist. Planning is also an important aspect of success, as the saying goes, "lack if planning results into failure". Patience also is a key aspect of success, before making a decision we should evaluate and weigh the outcomes.