Undergraduate / Renovating a dilapidated house- Common App SA [4]


^I'm not really sure either and that's probably a bad thing.

I mean what the prompt wants you to do is probably describe a pleasant activity/educational one. I thought that this event was going that way until the last part, which left me rather confused as to what I'm supposed to imply from this.

Why were you fixing up this house anyway? I would think that you realized something more positive from this experience other than the fact that some people are really mean.

Undergraduate / "Fatty Fadi (laugh now:)" - Stanford University: Letter to Roommate [5]

I don't really have much to say about this essay since it's just one of those essays.

I think that it's perfectly fine although nothing new or fancy. I find that half of the people who write this essay go about it in the same way you do.


^A little cheesy if you ask me.

When I wrote this essay last year I didn't know if it was a serious topic pretending to be lighthearted or something. I basically concluded that this topic is really not something that admissions will judge harshly on. I didn't get into Stanford though so that probably tells you how well I did on my essay haha. Anyway, I do think that you deliver well in the way that you choose to.

Undergraduate / Optional Essay-Talking about my personality, interests, etc. [6]

You might want to cut down on the first few sentences if you're short on words.


^Maybe you can say this in less words. "I said classical music despite blah blah blah..." Something shorter cause the way it is right now sounds overly dramatic.

Actually I suggest that you delete the first two paragraphs altogether since they have nothing to do with the rest of the answer, which is the important part.


^I personally like that you do it since it sounds professional. However I don't think that you should do it cause it's one of those things you're supposed to do in a college app.

Undergraduate / "everything about people's behavior" - unique qualities that attract you the College [4]

^It just seems odd that a guest speaker that was so boring sparked your interest in psych. Your interest seems to develop independent of his influence so that's why I said that the guest speaker part was a little confusing.

Undergraduate / "I know I meet Stanford's standards": What Makes Stanford a Good Place for You? [5]

I like it mostly.


^Sounds arrogant. You should probably reword this.


^You don't need to mention the other schools you're applying to. It kind of sounds like you're telling Stanford that if they don't accept you, other nice schools will.


^Alright, I like this attitude but admissions will probably not like it. It's for them to judge if you meet Stanford's expectations.


^Delete this and tell them more about what stands out most in you.

Undergraduate / "That's the magic of Math!" - Common app [8]

First of all I found this essay extremely cute. Just wanted to put that out there.
Some parts were confusing for me though.


^I don't understand how the dialogue between you and your teacher shows that math is about interpretation.


^I don't understand the ...'s


^Now this is the important part of the essay. You should write more about how you understood that maybe math is not just math but rather a tool that you can use to communicate with other people and give them hope. After all it was the only thing that you knew when you came to the states. I want to see the story build up.


^Too cool ;)

Maybe you should cut down on the dialogue a little because it makes your essay choppy. Concentrate on the purpose of your essay. You want to show the reader how you've progressed through math and ultimately came to help other people through your understanding of it.

Undergraduate / A Tough Essay Prompt - Pepperdine's mission and community of faith, learning, service [3]

You can begin with anything you want! Maybe an academic experience that you've had that will help you contribute to the school.

Undergraduate / Optional Essay-Talking about my personality, interests, etc. [6]


^What a confusing sentence...I meant that you shouldn't do it. My bad :P