Posts by spachelord

spachelord

Sep 2, 2016

Graduate / Our life have some high or low point in life. Choose one point and its impact on you. [5]

This is the worst experience I've ever had but it taught me a invaluable lesson of life. It was a couple of years before (...) in hospital due to her severe condition. She was a diabetic patient from last 4-5 yrs. We were expecting her recovery (...) and can not even imagine that she could leave us suddenly.

Are you sure you're saying that SHE couldn't imagine? Are you sure you don't mean YOU couldn't imagine? ;)
The hardest part of the situation is that it is just 3 days before my sister's wedding .We were all including her so engaged...
The wedding ceremony was done just as a formality.
How I managed these two unremarkableUnremarkable. Wow. No. Try another word. Like "remarkable". situations of life was t...
... responsible and practical person. either that, or "turned me INTO a .... [person]".It taught me nothing is stop ...
We have to do our duties,regardless of whether we are ready or not.
My mother was not there but her death taught me ...

spachelord

Sep 2, 2016

Writing Feedback / The Influence of smart appearance of employees compared with their quality [2]

... reflection that the corporation has exciting staff.
... and capacity is the number one of value.

Some of them need a special style as the statement. This has happened in the staff ...
It isWhat is? The roles? The statement? In that case, are you saying "the statement has happened"? aimed to put first impression ...

It is contras with art worker.this is grammatically incorrect
They can enjoy working in casual clothes . ... to not judge people by their cover.
I put appearance point after quality.what??

... points that can indicate someone'squality.
... more oriented to the intelligence andpower think of employee . read this aloud and tell me what's wrong with it.
Someone can be called great once when they have several ...

you have never heard of parallelism.
Revision possibilities:

the capacity to:
solve problems
finish jobs on time
handle many duties

OR
abilities such as:
solving problems
finishing jobs on time
handling many duties

OR
ability to:
solve problems
finish jobs on time
handle many duties

However, someone's quality is the main ...

spachelord

Sep 2, 2016

Writing Feedback / Every company usually has some criteria to employ their workers. One of it to dress "smartly". [5]

In my opinion, dressing smartly is an essential value ...

... freedom for their employees to wear a stuff(Too vague, try to be more specific)they like.
In other cases , a consultant, a salesman, or ...

In contrast to a fire brigade or a laboratory worker, they have to wear ... .
"in contrast" and "they" are contradictory. You could say, "in contrast to the aforementioned jobs", or "by contrast" and remove "to a" It is important to save them from an occupational hazard that cannot be protectedWow. Today, we're protecting occupational hazards. JK, you should say "protected from" if they wear a shirt with a tie. Another example, google, a big web company does not obligate their employees to dress natty. It is supposed to be comfortable and might be ...

This belongs to the paragraph above, not this paragraph.

spachelord

Sep 2, 2016

Writing Feedback / Water Use in Gulf Countries 2000 - Task 1 IELTS Writing [3]

The bar chart illustrates the usage of water ...
Good observations.

Qatar consumed water nearly 60% for agriculture (...)
Perhaps some implications or your own thoughts? What do you think about incorporating your own hypothesis into why this pattern exists?

(...) Approximately 20% of water in Kuwait was used for agriculture. (...)
Again, perhaps there's a pattern here [I.E., is Kuwait a more agricultural country, you suppose?] that you might want to address?

spachelord

Sep 1, 2016

Undergraduate / Given funding for a small engineering project UVA essay. [5]

I am not entirely sure how realistic it must be, it merely says that it is for the "School of Engineering and Applied Sciences ". I suppose it must be someway more or less practical for daily life uses, however, I'm not certain how I would make it more realistic....

spachelord

Sep 1, 2016

Undergraduate / Given funding for a small engineering project UVA essay. [5]

Hello guys, I want some help for my essay with the topic in the title. Any suggestions are considered helpful. requirements are around 250 words. (I'm at like 160 something so I could write more)

Imagine this: your parents are busy doing work, and not having a single free minute. You, a high school student, already busy with much coursework, must fulfill the role of housework and chores, including preparing meals. Yet it could be better. If I was given funding for a small engineering project, I would make a machine that could chop and wash the food that I will cook and my family will eat. Not only would programming this machine give me more experience, it would help my family. A machine could be more precise and efficient than a normal person like myself. In addition to this, this project could provide a fundamental base for future projects. If I succeed in this, I would not only make it easier for myself to prepare meals, I would also have a small step of success inspiring me to go further for bigger engineering projects--perhaps I can even develop it further into more automated processes in the kitchen.