Giansy11
Sep 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / HULA DANCING. Hawaii is not only full of beautiful views, but it is also a rich culture. [3]
Hii Bismillah..
You can deliver well and make us as the reader understand your article.
But, i have some corrections of your summary,
A great deal of people whohave has a dream to visit the beautiful Hawai Island
IT has culture which hasdevidedto such as,dancer ( make it clear, divided to? )
...they perform with the graceful dance which WERE performed by almost femalesby wearing grass skirt ...
Furthermore, the Hula dances weredevided divided to be the ancient ...
... dance performed to theaccompanientment (?) of the chants and ...
Hii Bismillah..
You can deliver well and make us as the reader understand your article.
But, i have some corrections of your summary,
A great deal of people who
IT has culture which has
...they perform with the graceful dance which WERE performed by almost females
Furthermore, the Hula dances were
... dance performed to the