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Posts by zian41 [Suspended]
Name: Abdul
Joined: Sep 19, 2016
Last Post: Sep 19, 2016
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  
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From: Indonesia
School: English Studio

Displayed posts: 5
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zian41   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / "green movement" - What is Ecotourism ? (Interesting tourism) [6]

Hello there, let me give some correction for you ...
... out "green movement" that have (has) meaning to preserve ...
... environment but also give beneficial ( benefit) for local ecology and society.
Ecotourism look for enviromentally ( wrong spelling) friendly accommodations such us ...
... that hire mainly local staff.only a harmfull emmisions (harmful emission)

Ecotourism look for (NOUN) enviromentally friendly ( adj+adj, it is fobiden) accommodations such us (as)
zian41   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Summary 8: Terri Trespicio-Stop searching for your passion [4]

I give you some mistakes from your writing

hat passion is not about a plan,(if u put Connector "but" it is better then no connector) passion is a dynamic feeling

Too busy searching for passion can lead the people lost the opportunities in life ( please to pay attention S+V+O)
Passion created by living it not by organize it ( it will be better if you write like this " Passion created by living which is not organized")

To check again every single word which less accurate to put in the sentence.
zian41   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / A history of India's independence [6]

hai there, let me give some correction for you ..

A colonization in many countries leads (use lead because plural) to any human problems.
There was no exception for India which had to be struggle ( use past participle because passive voice) to obtain an independence
zian41   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / According to Snowden, the right to privacy of data is not a political issue. [4]

Let me give some suggestions for you ..
The right to privacy of data, according to him is not a political issue, ( if u put according to at beginning sentence is better then you put in the middle sentence.

many aspects from ( you can replace by of because it is common) the internet which are kind of internet people want...
NSA intercepts to including ( Infinitive is always followed by V1)

One thing can people ( one thing which people can do is ......) do is being together to solved ...
zian41   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The pros and cons of moving around in different places, IELTS Writing Task 2 [4]

Many years ago, society sometimes spent lifetime just in one place, but in the modern era it is very different that they more likely stayed in some places which cause them comfortable to change place. This essay discusses benefit and weakness both of these views.

It is important that society spent their time just in one place because staying in one place, it will bring out good things in living of society and also it will be able to easily socialize with their neighbors because they have already known each other in a long time and the same place. Living in one place for several societies make comfortable and enjoyable because they should not adapt with the other society, have a strong sense of community, have more chances and time to increase potential what they have in their place because those are familiar with the place which they have been lived in many years ago. However, it does not continuously makes them enjoy when they lived in that place but sometime they have several problem which they felt difficult to reach it because of long distance. Those feel difficult when they want to go to public facilities such us, social health center, the school that their children study, traditional market where the people sell necessity of daily activity, and difficulty of accessing information about everything because it is stopped by long distance from the town center.

On the other hand, society live nomad in lifetime has benefit and disadvantages. The advantages people live nomads are, firstly they can get simply anything public facilities and learn new experience because one place and the other place have different situation and condition. Secondly, they have many friends or they have many connections with important people. Many people live nomad they life better than inhabitants in village. But inhabitants live nomads in lifetime also have disadvantages. For instance, they are always adaptation with new environment. They are usually complicate to prepare new house.

To conclude, societies live in one place or live some places in lifetime it is the choice of each individual, because the both have many advantages and disadvantages. They feel enjoyable in lifetime which one in village or move another to get new experience.