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IELTS Summary 8: Terri Trespicio-Stop searching for your passion


dils 20 / 33 2  
Sep 19, 2016   #1
Most of people believe that they have to follow their passion. This kind of thing makes people stand still. After graduate from school, many people do not know what to do because they don't know their passion. Related with that, it is important to know that passion is not about a plan, passion is a dynamic feeling. Too busy searching for passion can lead the people lost the opportunities in life.

Passion created by living it not by organize it. Passion is the entire energy that we use to solve whatever in front of us, so that we don't need to search the passion. Passion related with something that we can use to contribute. Finally, in keeping with that, there's a saying, "You don't need to follow your passion, your passion follow you".

Iedha01 21 / 40  
Sep 19, 2016   #2
Hi dils,
You've done a good job in your writing, however I would give you some suggestions

You need to concern about Capital letter, you miss in that part. Therefore you should enrich your vocabularies by reading more articles and underline and write them all on the paper, then, they are useful in your next writing .

You can also paraphrase your sentence yo avoid repeted words, for example: passion, you wrote it more than three times so you can change it into other words, such as affection, devotion, feeling, or deviotion
bismillah 15 / 29 1  
Sep 19, 2016   #3
Hai dila the arrange of your essay is pretty good
But i have idea to make a better
That is about: in essay is prohibited to use linked up word or sentence
For example : we dont need
The better :we do not need

Passion created by living it
To correct; the passion was created by living it
To Concern about passive voice
To solve whatever in front of us
To solve whatever in plain sight ,that is the same mening but more efficiently or collocater
To use about" THE" and without "It" is
THE used to use the word which is known previously
Witbout ""THE" used to use the word or sentence which is unknown yet
I think it all ,i hope it useful for you ...
Do more in order to be better
zian41 1 / 4  
Sep 19, 2016   #4
I give you some mistakes from your writing

hat passion is not about a plan,(if u put Connector "but" it is better then no connector) passion is a dynamic feeling

Too busy searching for passion can lead the people lost the opportunities in life ( please to pay attention S+V+O)
Passion created by living it not by organize it ( it will be better if you write like this " Passion created by living which is not organized")

To check again every single word which less accurate to put in the sentence.


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