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Posts by delvis92
Name: delvis saputra
Joined: Oct 31, 2016
Last Post: Nov 3, 2016
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  

From: Turkey

Displayed posts: 6
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delvis92   
Nov 3, 2016
Student Talk / 'Composing mail' - written skill problem [12]

in my opinion, you should improve your grammar first, then you can write some topics here. Many people will give your suggestions and you can learn more
delvis92   
Nov 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Young people spare much time to work hard in their studies. Sometimes, they are lack of relax [2]

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this?What solutions can you suggest?

In recent years, young people spare much time to work hard in their studies. Sometimes, they are lack of relax. Moreover, school tasks bring them under a lot of pressure. I believe that it is caused by parental influence and competition among universities. This essay will give what the causes and some solutions should be taken to tackle this problem.

To begin with, every parent wants better education for their children. This parental desire brings immense pressure of children. For example, some certainly drive their children to school in prestigous high school. They also tend to spend much money to take several courses which are relevant to study their children. Another example, university competition forces young people to work hard in their studies. Several universities have to compete with another university. So that, they have high standard in terms of recruitment . It makes young people have to achieve score which is required

Nevertheless, some solutions are expected to solve this problem. Parents should let their children to opt school which according to desire and ability. Parent also should not force children to take some courses which spend much time. Goverment also has responsible of this case. Goverment should enhance number of universities. So, students have a lot of options to select the university. As the result, young people can spare time to play with their peers.

In conclusion, it seems to me that there is always solution to overcome the problem. I do believe that parent and goverment have importance rule of this case.
delvis92   
Nov 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / People are assisted by sophisticated technology tools, such as body scanner and CCTV [3]

Some people believe that technological tools such as body scanner and CCTV have significantly enhanced our safety and security, while others feel that they have resulted in a loss of privacy. Do the benefits of these items outweigh their disadvantages?

In this modern era, many people have acknowledged that they are assisted with shopisticated technologies. It is consisted body scanner and CCTV which by far will make them safetier from threat even help to improve the business. They are willing to spend more money to set CCTV and can be placed according to their desire and requirement. If there is a CCTV at the location, criminals tend to change their mind to undertake a crime. Therefor, I do personally believe that body scanner and CCTV will increase our safety and security.

On the other hand, I ever read into newspaper that there was CCTV which was placed at the wrong spot such as in the hotel rooms, definitely it will make someone feels uncomfortable even loss privacy. However, we cannot directly blame CCTV as the cause.

Based on my experienced, my family had a business which was located in my hometown. This business looked like a store, and also many costly goods which were sold over there. By increasing our subscribers, it also provoked a concern by criminal to utilize this condition as way to steal the items in the store. So that, we experienced a large loss. After that, we obtained this incident as an unforgettable experience. Nevertheless, we found out the way to enhance security, by using an advanced technology as weel as CCTV. As the result, we had made an improvement progresively. In any case, It was followed by another store to imitate our way by installing this tool each visible spot.

The aferomentioned evidence shows that a shopisticated technology may be utilized to ease us. Although some citizents suppose that CCTV may disturb their privacy, the owners should place this tool at the fair spot.
delvis92   
Nov 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS SUMMARY MONTH IS COMPARING BETWEEN TABLE AND PIE CHART [5]

i have some suggestions for your writings

... less productive which is compared with the table ...
... as we can see that the highest worlwide ...

... over -grazing 35% was the highest onewhich where it is also placed (...) and it was highest (repeating word) number among ...

you should attach your chart, so it will ease readers to understand your writing.
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