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A letter to the embassy (the compulsory military service in the country)



pippen168 2 / 4  
Jan 31, 2011   #1
This is the letter that i need to hand in to the embassy. Please correct my grammar if you can also give me some feedbacks. Please. And THANK YOU. THANK YOU

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing this letter to inform the Embassy of the XXX in the Republic of AAA whether there is an opportunity for me to serve and complete the compulsory military service in the country of AAA.

As for every XXX citizen, compulsory military service is responsible for all male citizens. Nobody can be able to run away by not serving the service. It is my pleasure to have a chance or opportunity to serve and imperative for my country. However, I told Mr. Villalba about my situation and he said "he might be able to work out with the Embassy of the XXX in the Republic of AAA to let me serve military service in the embassy". If this is the case, it is sure that will benefit for either parts (I and embassy) or even the Government of XXX.

To be able to serve my service in AAA is my goal, because it provides me with opportunity to learn Spanish and the cultures of South America region. I had been staying in Canada for about ten years also learned English. I think a person who just only knows English language is not enough and satisfied in the business environment. English is no longer a dominate language, I mean it is still a primary language everyone needs to learn but we need to have another languages whom most business market used like Japanese or Spanish etc. A language rather than English like Spanish could be suitable in the business market for me. South America is a big market in the coming years, if I can have opportunity to stay in the AAA, I am sure I will learn a lot of different culture aspects and markets. To serve the service in AAA I can learn more beneficial stuff like gaining the different worldview than AAA. The Embassy of the XXX in AAA is a great place for me to settle down and also use my work abilities to help the embassy office works.

Once again, thank you for taking your pleasure time to have a chance to look and consider at my letter. I am looking forward to hear from you or Mr. Vilalba soon. Please contact me with further questions.

EF_Susan - / 2310  
Feb 7, 2011   #2
Ah, great edit, Joseph. I like the way you fixed that first sentence. Pippen, do you see your mistake? Maybe you wrote as if you were INFORMING, but you are really thinking of INQUIRING. But the way Joseph fixed it is probably even better.

You should type it again and correct thos errors. Type it according to what Joseph said! :-) And I caught one more:
As for every XXX citizen, compulsory military service is responsible the responsibility of all male citizens.
or
For every male XXX citizen, compulsory military service is a responsibility.
or
All male citizens of XXX are responsible for completing their compulsory military service.


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