Statement of purpose for pursuing the master of data science/business analytics in the Netherlands

Hi everyone!
I have just finished my statement of purpose for pursuing the master of data science/business analytics in the Netherlands
Any advice and comments will be very helpful to me.
Thanks in advance.
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613 words
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SOP for master of data science

I am an Industrial Engineering graduate from K.N. Toosi University of Technology, one of the top five engineering schools in Iran. Some of the courses I took in college were engineering statistics, programming, systems analysis, and operations research to name a few. Independently I have taken courses in database design, data warehouse design and business intelligence. I have also completed one year of MBA level classes in entrepreneurship at Information Technology Development Center of Tehran. Currently, I have enrolled in Coursera's "data structures and algorithms specialization" and Udemy's "complete-python-bootcamp." Upon graduation, I have held various positions in both IT and the IT department of some pharmaceutical companies. Currently, I am an independent business intelligence consultant.

Having worked for over nine years in IT, I would like to focus my attention on data science, particularly building an application(s) based on the Carl Jung psychological types. The turning point for me was when I got involved in a nonacademic psychology program developed to help couples who were about to get married. The program utilized the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which is the most widely used questionnaire for talent development and is based on the personality theories of Carl Jung. Based on the answers given, one's unique personality is derived from among the pool of sixteen characters the model offers. This particular program was not about pointing out good or bad personalities, but rather to showcase the strengths and weaknesses that each participant possessed. The couples were counseled and given suggestions based on their answers. They were not told to marry or not marry their prospective spouse but rather were told about their strengths and weaknesses. It is interesting to note that couples who took the advice of the program administrators lightly, tended to be less happy and have more problems in their relationship. Furthermore, this test can be used in the business and career development context. I think knowing people's MBTI personality type and extracting knowledge about their behavior in a broad array context of everyday life such as being a customer, a teammate, a spouse or an employee is an interesting topic to research about. For example, my personality type is ENTP, and it defines: "This personality type tends to be energetic, analytical, enthusiastic, and theoretical. They are adept at solving problems creatively. They thrive as executives and can function well in a variety of different fields, including business, the arts, and even sports and media." If my previous managers know my personality, they never ask me to do regular tasks. Another example is a customer behavior analysis. If a company's customer service knows about my MBTI personality type (ENTP), they learn that it is better not to debate with me.

Nowadays, researchers studying methods to detect MBTI personality type of people with the analysis of their hand-writing, tweets, the loudness of their voice, the pages which they like on the Facebook and so on. All in all, I see the day people and corporations use these type of applications to make important decisions more reliably with high a rate of success. I believe by using data science, a lot can be done to help people and companies in facing their everyday challenges. I am intrigued by the data science's focus on predictive analytics and the ways it helps investigate the unknown by conducting experiments and forming hypotheses. I firmly believe that advancing my education, coupled with my work experience will allow me to discover something that has not been known before, and the curriculum of big data at Simon Fraser University will help me in achieving this goal. I am fully aware of the dedication, perseverance and resolve needed to be a successful

Mostafa, you had a good start with your opening paragraph. Then you floundered when you presented the subjects that you studied in college. It is not enough to mention the classes that you took because the reviewer will be familiar with that. What will impress him about your college academic grades though, would be if you can state instances of academic recognition during your course of study. What subjects did you excel in? What was your average GPA in these classes? This isn't the time to be modest. One of the best ways you can stand out as an applicant is by calling attention to your academic accomplishments. Don't rattle off all the courses that you completed unless you can say something exemplary about your accomplishment in each one. If you are just an average student in all these subjects then do not call too much attention to your academics. Make up for it with your professional experience instead.

You did mention what your current profession is then, the sound of crickets. Nothing. No follow up. No explanation as to how your profession relates to your chosen masters degree. The two must have some sort of connection for you to present to the reviewer otherwise he will wonder about the professional application of your studies upon its completion. Either you highlight the explanation of your business intelligence consultancy in relation to the masters degree or, you keep it vague with the reference to having worked in IT for 9 years. Frankly, I don't see the connection of the Jung experiment with IT so I would use that experiment to highlight my business intelligence consultancy instead.

By the way, you should shorten the explanation of the experiment that you participated in. It does not help to move your application forward with vital information about your academic and professional interests. So your purpose for studying this course is to build the Carl Jung exam types in an application format. How does this relate to your future career plans? What kind of research and/or experiment do you plan to carry out in order to help you develop this application?

More importantly, what facilities or which faculty members of your chosen university will help you to further your interest, studies, and research in this field? Explain how Data Science and Business Analytics fits in with the Carl Jung types? What would your professional purpose for the implementation of the app be? Be more specific about how the university offerings fit in with your future plans. Develop a doable 5 year career plan that will showcase how you will purposely use the knowledge you will be gaining during this time.

Needless to say, your current essay is short on a number of vital and expected elements of a statement of purpose. I hope that my review can help you get this essay on the right track. Good luck!