Hi guys
Im Sean Taylor
I'm in year 11 and was wondering if you guys could check and critique my report it is only the start and got heaps to do.
Don't hold back and critique as much as you want
Intolerant attitudes towards migrants have roots in the Australian gold rushes of the 1850's. Australians had broken up into five different colonies. 'The Australian gold rushes started in 1851 when prospector Edward Hammond Hargraves claimed the discovery of payable gold near Bathurst, New South Wales, at a site Edward Hargraves called Ophir. Six months later, gold was found in Victoria at Warrandyte and Ballarat, and a short time later at Bendigo Creek. Gold was later found in all of the other Australian states'. Countries around the world flocked to Australia at the announcement of the gold discovery.' Australia attracted adventurers from all around the world. The majority of these new arrivals were British but also included Americans, French, Italians, Germans, Polish, and Hungarian exiles. The largest foreign contingent on the goldfields was the 40,000 Chinese who made their way to Australia.' . In having so many different countries arrive in Australia, our population boomed.' In 1852 alone, 370,000 immigrants arrived in Australia and the economy of the boomed.' During a period of 20 years the population rose again putting the population up from 430,000 in 1851 to 1.7 million in 1871.
The conflict between the Chinese and the Australians grew as the amount of gold dropped. Australians blamed the Chinese for the gold running out and for the unfortunate people that bought claims and never found any gold.
The essay sounds good, but, I'd suggest you to involve a few personal thoughts as well. Everything factual would make it boring. Anyways, the flow is perfect!
