AAS - Gifted Education. Flinders University, Australia - impact of your study for further carrier

How will the proposed study contribute to your career?

Graduating from Flinders University will shape me into a beneficial human resource, ready to take part in setting Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs), specifically in 'quality education' in Indonesia because Indonesia is not yet ready to implement inclusive education because of the lack of qualified human resources.

Studying gifted education at Flinders University, Australia, will equip me with skills necessary to meet the ever-increasing need for qualified gifted education professionals. Furthermore, on finishing my proporsed course, I will be able to demonstrate skills to reevaluate complementary interaction between gifted education and general education. With the knowledge and skills gained, I want to conduct a screening test to find unidentified gifted students, and also gather relevant data necessary to improve the system and policy of Gifted Education. In this regard, my short term goals are to join a school as coordinator of special education and gifted programming, and start research with an NGO or an Institution.

Moreover, my long term vision is to have my own platform to share about gifted education and inclusivity in schools and open a curriculum consultancy. I hope it will have profound and viable impact in the vast environment of education, by improving the inclusivity and diversity in the learning process of the education environment, which entails variation of curriculums based on students' ability to learn.

The essay is a good enough response. The only change I would like you to make is the presentation of the paragraphs. It would make more sense if you keep the first paragraph as is, then use the current last paragraph as the second paragraph, repositioning the current second paragraph to become the closing paragraph instead. The essay information just flows better that way. The SDG discussion creates a proper opening for the discussion about the education program you want to launch in your country, which is part of the explanation of how the study will contribute to your career.

After switching the paragraphs around, you will find that you should develop a new, stronger concluding statement for the essay. One that shows a united vision for your short and long term goals that will further boost the implication as to how the study will contribute to your career. Perhaps close with a statement about hoping to be promoted to a specific position or becoming a team leader on a project. Yes, I think any of those would make for a stronger closing paragraph for your application.