Arts and Social Sciences - Korean MBA program - government GKS (Personal statement)

scholarship essay

I'd really appreciate if some of you guys could drop some feedbacks on my personal statement for Korean government scholarship. THANK YOU!

o Motivations with which you apply for this program
o Your education and work experience in relation to GKS.
o Reason for studying in Korea
o Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research.

I received my degree in Arts and Social Sciences with a major in Global Studies from Monash University. After graduating from college, I came across XXXX, a tech business startup while looking for my first job. I was interested in their business that provides a data-driven solution for online customers to collect and return their parcels, so I decided to apply for their Partnership and Operations internship.

Working in the operation team, I mainly assisted with the pick up and drop off (PUDO) operation as well as expanding the location partnerships across Malaysia and Singapore. My willingness to put extra efforts at work has given me the opportunity to wear different hats such as creating an email marketing campaign, generating and qualifying leads and also conducting sales analysis. Such experience taught me the skills to collaborate across different functions and allowed me to learn more about startup entrepreneurship.

I was hoping to work full-time at XXXX until the Covid-19 pandemic happened. They decided to freeze the hiring so I had to return to the job market which was more competitive than ever. I managed to secure a job as a Customer Experience Specialist but have never imagined myself to be in a customer service position. I however strongly believe that every experience counts towards success as long as you persevere.

I truly enjoy being in a customer-centric role and have learned from the smallest things such as the importance of a user-friendly website to improve customer experience. Being in this position though also means that I have to deal with angry customers. It's tough when this happens because oftentimes it's due to something that's beyond your power like the quality of the product, misleading promotions and delayed shipments.

While I do accept this as a challenge that comes with the job, I also believe that I have the choice to not be in this position. If there's one thing that I learned about career during this tumultuous time, it's the importance of upskilling. With that being my motivation, I would like to pursue an MBA program to extend my knowledge in business and learn new skills.

I choose to study in Korea because I already set the goal to return to the country for graduate studies after my exchange program at Korea University. I was privileged to be selected out of two students from Monash University to join the program during my undergraduate study. I was awarded with 2 scholarships to fund my study abroad based on my excellent academic performance. I fell in love with Korea from the moment I landed at the airport and was impressed by the city's unique lifestyle, state-of-the art public transportation and safe and clean environment. Its world-class education attracts students from all over the world allowing me to have a global experience in the classroom.

The highlight of my exchange experience was when I participated in the International Student Festival and had the opportunity to lead the Malaysian team which uniquely consisted of students from 4 different countries. We managed to secure a $500 grant from the school and also sponsorship from the Malaysia Tourism Korea. The experience has taught me leadership skills as well as developed my cultural competence.

The growing startup scene in the country also makes me interested in studying in Korea. The Korean government has been investing a huge sum of money in recent years to encourage entrepreneurship and enhance the local startup infrastructure like the Sandbox. The initiatives introduced such as the E-7 visa and K-Startup Grand Challenge to attract foreign talents prove the abundance of opportunities in the country.for an aspiring entrepreneur like myself. I'm hoping to gain some working experience at some of the renowned Korean startups such as Coupang and Kakao.

With that being said, I'm motivated to apply for GKS after learning that the program not only provides students with financial assistance but also cultural experience. I have been interested in Korean culture since I was 15 when I first started learning the language. I have been learning on my own through online materials and continued until college where I decided to attend night classes to gain formal education. I sacrificed my time and money for that and it's all worth it as I was awarded a grade A for passing the beginner level. I have never stopped practicing it through watching kdramas and listening to KPop and the two activities have exposed me to Korean culture. I believe GKS would allow me to learn more about the culture and also strengthen the diplomatic ties between Korea and Malaysia.

The essay does not offer a clear motivation for your interest in the program you are applying to. The over extended professional background approach should be shortened to a single paragraph. Reply to the question "how does your education and work experience relate to the GKS program?" FRankly speaking, I do not see any relationship because you under represented your educational background and lacked a proper GKS relationship with your work experience presentation. One way of responding to that would be to refer to how Korea does the same business, in an improved manner over your own country. Thus proving a professional skills development motivation on your part.

There isn't much reference either to your background and interests that prove your ability to participate in graduate research. Try to build on that through a more expansive discussion of your education, particularly in terms of your undergraduate thesis.

The Korean connection is strong because of your exposure to the country early on and, your winning competitions while you were there. That means you are already familiar with the Korean way of life in terms of culture and traditions. I wish you had been able to cite a TOPIK score when you referred to your continued learning of Hangul. That would have catapulted you to a higher level of consideration that your competitors. However, the language learning explanation will work for you just the same.

@Holt
Thanks so much for the feedbacks! Just to clarify, the MBA program that I'm applying is a non-thesis track. Otherwise, I will work on my essay still.