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Scholarship Essay for Australia Awards 1. Explaining University of Melbourne choice



Khishig 2 / 2  
May 24, 2020   #1
Dear all,

I'm a officer of Supreme court responsible of court development,
Please kindly review and give me feedback for the Australia Awards.
Thank you in advance.

Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?



I chose the University of Melbourne because it offers a Master of Commercial laws course. I will learn about recent legal issues of electronically made transactions, digital consumer protection, FinTech, and cryptocurrency and how to receive those cases electronically in court which directly relates to the weakness of Mongolian court due to lack of knowledge and skills of applying those new areas of law in court effectively.

Of particular interest to me are the courses in electronic commercial law which will help me build upon my existing training and skills in improving court organization and introducing technological advances in court. As my main duties relate to improving the legal environment of litigation, and management of courts, I will use this knowledge and skills to develop new legal provisions accepting e-litigation, evaluating electronically created evidence in court and handling commercial cases created in the Internet environment across borders, as well as, to actively participate creating legal regulation on electronic commercial law which doesn't have any regulations in Mongolia.

My backup choice is the University of New South Wales (UNSW) because it offers Master of Laws (LLM) in Corporate, Commercial & Taxation Law. This course will help me understand not only the main issues of e-transactions laws, but also recent development in commercial law and litigation. In particular those subjects on Globalization and commercial law, Complex commercial litigation will sharpen my knowledge of contemporary global investment governance, effective case management requirements and techniques, and fundamental international conventions.

Since Mongolian court suffers from a lack of required knowledge applying international commercial law conventions at the national level, I will employ my newly gained knowledge and skill of commercial law to build a capacity of Mongolian judges on improving the use of international conventions through developing training module and organize workshops regularly.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
May 24, 2020   #2
You have 400 words with which to develop your response. So use the word count to further develop your back up university discussion. Describe how the knowledge will not only enhance your skills, but also help you within the judicial system of Mongolia. The discussion should be similar in presentation to the one you used for your first course institution. The last paragraph should be changed. The current presentation of that paragraph applies more to your "How will your proposed course help your career?" discussion. Close instead with a reference as to how you will be thrilled to be admitted into either program as both will help you modernize the Mongolian business law field.
OP Khishig 2 / 2  
May 24, 2020   #3
Dear, @Holt

Thank you for your kind feedback, I will correct my essay according to your suggestion.


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