familiar with challenges
Challenge is not the unfamiliar work for me; I understand that in life I have to always find solutions to overcome the challenges. Moreover, I believe the challenge is the important factor to lead others. In my opinion a real leader have to face challenges and solve them to be called a leader. Being an engineer in Ghor province, where I would like to be the first engineer who will get master's degree. From many examples of leading in my life I would like to write two of them related to my profession.
My first leadership experience came from selecting as supervisor of a team of technicians and workers for a construction project. During my first job at, "Janan Construction Company" I was responsible for leading and management of the team to conduct the site activities and monitor the team performance and activities progress during construction of a six story building. Whereas it was my first job, it was the best opportunity for me to show and use my leadership and influencing skills. During construction phase I face a lot of challenges, for example sometimes according to transportation problems we cannot deliver the construction materials on time in site, I had to influence and manage the team to do another activity until reaching the materials. As I could manage the team and solve every challenge during construction phase, the project was progressing as its timetable. As a result success of my team helped me to change the mindset of all members of the team and my boss. At the middle of project progress I was selected as project manager of the project to manage a team of supervisors, workers and technicians. It was another opportunity for me to show my leadership and influence skill and get new experiences from managing a team of different employees.
My second leadership experience came from working as leader of an engineering professional services office which named, "Shahrara Engineering Services" the company was established by three partners including me in private sector. Even though it was my first experience of establishing a business, I was sure that I can do it because of successful mission that I had worked. Among three members I selected as leader of the services. Our core activities were to make different types of engineering plans for customers. At the first I assigned the responsibilities of each member of services. As the next step toward continuing our business I influenced other professional engineers to join our services. At the first it was difficult because the business was new and not popular among people, but I could gather engineers by motivating them in business and mead the best team. As leader of a professional team of engineers I could experience one of my best leadership and influence skills the life.
I have always been trying to do different and new things in my life and become a different leader in Afghanistan by using Chevening program's opportunities and enhance my leadership skills to achieve my future goals.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,447 4693
Nasser, you have some pretty good leadership experiences here. However, the influencing parts in both instances are not well threshed out. You need to explain in greater detail how you influenced the people around you. This is not the time to summarize your presentations because the fully developed presentation is what will prove that you have the type of leadership and influencing abilities that the scholarship is looking for. Your management skills are admirable so develop the influencing discussion in order to create an accurate representation of both skills in your essay.
By the way, in the 3rd paragraph, you need to clarify whether or not you are the owner of the professional service. Offer a more in-depth description as to how you used your influencing skills to gain business for the company. Right now, you are only providing an overview of that aspect. Your essay needs specifics in order to be more effective.
You will also need to develop a clearer closing paragraph because the current one that you have is confusing. I am not sure what the point of that paragraph is. I think it will be best if you divide the presentation into at least 2 sentences so that you can better explain the meaning of or represent the objective of the closing statement.
here are some corrections:
responsible for leading and managing the
In the middle of project
services office, which
Also, your first sentence could be "Challenge is familiar to me". And also your last paragraph is hard to follow.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,447 4693
Naseer, your opening paragraph has a problematic sentence. It does not have a properly developed presentation. You said, "Being an engineer in Ghor province, where I would like to be the first engineer who will get master's degree." There is no meaning to this sentence? What are you trying to say? So you will be the first engineer with a masters degree from your area. So what? What makes it special? Why should I care about that? I think it would be better if you just remove that sentence though. It doesn't seem to have a connection with the rest of the essay even if you improve upon its content. In both examples of your leadership skills, it would be better if you could at least give a description of your influencing ability instead of merely saying that you influenced this and that person. Remember, this essay is all about providing examples. So when mentions are not supported by narrative examples, your claims become weak and will be given less consideration by the reviewer.