Why did you choose Master of Data Science (Australia)? Proposed course and institution (AAS Essay)

Hi all! I need your help to give me an advice on my essay. Any comments are welcome. Thank you!

Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?

I have a high interest in the data driven thing since my previous research subject was about analyzed graduated student data in Faculty of Engineering using a priori algorithm and Eclat algorithm so I am applying for Master Degree of Data Science to master my skill in data analytics, statistics and programming. The study will help me to expertise these skills which are so important for me who work in Artificial Intelligent Company. I am so eager to learn it to enlarge my career opportunities in Data Science Area.

I was an independent contractor at XY. XY is a Canadian technology company which provides IT Services and multilingual customer service to global clients. As an independent contractor, I am responsible to analyzed targeted advertisements on social media and delivered feedback on their content, relevancy, accuracy, and overall quality to provide human-annotated datasets of social media advertisements relevance.

I choose Master of Data Science at The University of Melbourne because they offered statistics prerequisites for computer science background which really interest me. Statistics is core skill for data scientist to understand data and process that for decision making. There are also an internship and communicating science at work course which really helps me to convert the theory I learned at university into a real-world problem and manage to be an effective communicator to communicated my ideas and conclusions to the member of team and stakeholders.

For my second option, I choose Master of Data Science at The Monash University. They offered Data Processing for Big Data course and Minor thesis research option course which I found really interesting because if I am eligible for the Minor thesis research option course I may be able to continue my previous subject with a large scale data.

The first and second paragraphs are not relevant to this discussion. These may be removed and pinned for future use in the proposed study contribution instead. Remember that the reviewers have limited time to read your application responses. When they see that the opening response is irrelevant, they will set aside your essay and move on to the next applicant. They might forget to come back to your application response when that happens. Always focus on delivering a direct response to the question instead. So discuss the universities and the course choices. Do not use more than 2 paragraphs. It is unnecessary to go into a 3rd paragraph if your properly explain the university and course choices. It does not need to be a long essay, it needs to be responsive essay. Further expand on the explanation related to the question instead. The responses provided are promising, but lacking in development.