I choosed Australia National University. Need your help in checking my essay down below.

First of all. Thank you for helping me on this.
I really need your input for this essay. Is it cohesive? do I need to add or omit some information? Do I give a good reasoning there?

Again, thank you for the help.
And.... here is my essay:

Untitled essay

Indonesia is on its way to the digital era, this can be said by looking at finding like We Are Social (2017) that state 51% of Indonesian have access to the Internet. Interestingly, the latest number from Google shows that from 50 million small and medium enterprises (SMEs) only 1% have an online presence. Seeing the yet to be explored opportunities, in 2017 the government issue a stimulus economy packet that focuses on driving the digital economy in Indonesia.

That being said, my interest toward digital economy lead me to work in the e-commerce sphere as Business Development. I have the opportunity to look at a broader image of digital economy landscape in Indonesia. I also got a chance to take a closer look at the process of SMEs entering the digital market. And then I realized there is a gap in skills and readiness between entrepreneurship ecosystem and digital economy in Indonesia.

Seeing this, I believe the need to provide accessible advisory and guidance to integrate SMEs into the digital economy is imminent. Hence, the need of competent practitioner to speed up and help to ensure the success of government economy packet.

For that purposes, I need a course that covers a deep knowledge for launching and developing new business. A course that gives opportunity to experience first hand an entrepreneurial workload both as an entrepreneur or in advisory work.

With that in mind, I choose Australia National University. The 96 units of study cover subjects from management core into subjects that specifically explore the way to navigate changes in the market. This wide range and deep subjects will benefit me greatly in understanding entrepreneurship and Innovation. My second choice falls into Melbourne University that offers a unique toolkit to build my knowledge. This toolkit involved direct involvement with the industries which will give me firsthand experience in the process. Furthermore, the only 60 students limit will ensure all students get personalized attention.

Vitha, this essay does not specifically address the prompt requirements. Where is the name of the course that you chose to attend? Since you listed two universities, I should be seeing at least 2 masters degree courses aligned with specific course criteria that helped you to choose these masters degrees. You laid out a general foundation for your choices in the essay. That is good but what we really need are the specific reasons why you chose the two masters degree choices. The same goes for the university choices. You mentioned 2 universities based upon commonly known information. We need to know why you chose these degrees at these universities based upon a more specific knowledge of your career needs and requirements. If you lessen the generic references in your essay in order to become more prompt specific, the essay should better represent your discussion of the prompt.

@Holt
Thank you for your input. I am so neck deep on the background that I forgot the essence of the question. I will revise it first.

@Holt

Hallo Holt, I already revise my essay. Please give your input on it.

Thank you very much!

[...]

Seeing this, I believe the need to provide accessible advisory and guidance to integrate SMEs into the digital economy is imminent. For that purpose, by taking my Master degree in Entrepreneurship and Innovation I would like to study how Indonesia can provide an inclusive digital economy for SMEs. This will, in turn, contribute to the increase productivity and advancement of Indonesia's economy.

With that in mind, I plan to take my master degree programme at Australia National University (ANU) or Melbourne University (Unimelb). At ANU the 96 units of study cover a board and deep subject from marketing to management. The wide range of subjects from marketing to management core will benefit me greatly in understanding entrepreneurship and Innovation in sense of end-to-end process at a specific entrepreneurial situation. As for Unimelb, the programme is designed with a unique toolkit to build my knowledge. An environment where I can directly participate in the entrepreneurship ecosystem. Furthermore, course such as Garage Project will provide an invaluable connection for me in the future.