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I have chosen three courses at three disparate schools in the United Kingdom

pitopang 2 / 1  
Nov 5, 2017   #1
I will be very appreciated if you give comments on my essay

Studying in the UK

I chose three courses at three different universities in the UK. First is Economic Development and Policy Analysis at Notthingham University. The reason I choose this course because it is very relevant to my previous education and my current work experience. My undergraduate education background is a development economics. And my current job is an internal auditor of the Indonesian government which requires me to provide consultation and guidance to the government in determining and influencing government policy for public services. This course offers a great combination for my career in the next few years. Experts in preparing government public policies, especially in the field of economics and development with a very good educational background will make me as a person who is needed by the government of Indonesia. For example, as an auditor I will provide suggestions and recommendations on tax and levy management policies. This is what makes me able to influence public policy in Indonesia both local government and national governments in the next few years.

Secondly, I chose the Public Economics at Durham university. The reason I chose this course because it is more specific and in-depth in public sector economic studies, where in other universities the public economics is just a module. Background in economics, and my current job as a civil servant relating to guidance on public service governance makes this department very important for my future career. The knowledge i get from this course will be used to help the government in planning, budgeting, administration and reporting so that opinion on government financial reports can increase from disclaimer and qualified to unqulified opinion. In addition, I can also provide advice and recommendations in building public policy formulation for a reliable internal control system.

Lastly I chose Development Economics at Birmingham University. I chose this course to improve my ability in theory and the application of economic policy. My advantage is that I already have an economic education background that I have gained in undergraduate and this will allow me to complete my course. Development Economics is very important for developing countries and emerging markets such as Indonesia because it requires good analytical and technical skills in solving economic development issues. The skills of this course will help me to advance my career in the public sector in the future to provide recomendations on goverment public policies in the economic sector.

The conclusion is that all three majors I choose are very good and relevant to my educational background, and my current job. In addition, this course is also at the top universities in the UK. On the other hand, this course will accelerate my future career advancement in governance and policy making in public sector as I will play a role in helping to formulate the framework of public policies, especially in economic and development, as well as overseeing the implementation in Indonesia in accordance with the duties and function of an internal auditor.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,148 3278  
Nov 5, 2017   #2
@pitopang the body of your essay is highly impressive and very detailed. The reviewer will find it a joy to read because you clearly connected your academic background to your current profession and the future use of this course in your career. You did this in every course that you presented. Good job! However, the essay is lacking a proper reference to an overall objective that could be presented as part of the opening statement. You need a proper introduction paragraph prior to the presentation of the courses and because your body is written so perfectly, the only thing that can further enhance it would be a general objective that applies to the reason why you feel the need to study any of these advanced courses. For the closing statement, the first two sentences don't really create a good impression at the start. If you start the paragraph by simply saying "These courses will accelerate..." I believe your concluding statement will be stronger and more relevant to the previous paragraph presentations.
obbiescholar 3 / 5  
Nov 5, 2017   #3
Dear Pitopang, I agree with Holt that you should make an opening paragraph explaining the importance of the courses you choose for your career development and in line with your previous education. In addition, I think in each course you choose, it helps if you explain why the course can solve the problems that found in your assignment as an Internal Auditor.

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