Discuss your short and long-term goals. Are some of them related? Which are priorities?
I'm not sure if I answered the prompt correctly, or if my metaphor to a savings account was easily understandable.
Through remarkable men and woman's contributions, numerous medical discoveries have been made over the precedent decades at a swift rate. In 1981, a vaccine for hepatitis B was founded. One decade later, a vaccine for hepatitis A was founded. The following decade from the findings of the vaccine for hepatitis A, scientist discovered how to use human skin cells to create embryonic stem cells. Each decade, several life changing medical discoveries are found. Some of the newest discoveries on the verge of revolutionizing the medical world are gene therapy, improved imaging, and virtual inspection tools. As a long-term goal, I aspire to join or assist those bioengineering companies which, innovate previous medical device and promote excellent health.
Long-term and short term goals are intertwined and work similar to a savings account. Each short term goal is like a deposit for a long term investment. My short term goals begins with graduating high school within the top ten percent of my graduating class and being accepted to a college of my choice. Graduating is by far the priority of most of my goals, because without graduating with a high school diploma I cannot move farther towards my long-term goals. From there, my next deposit is made in the form of searching and applying for numerous scholarships in order to assist in reducing my college expenditures. Hopefully these scholarships will cover a hefty fraction of the college estimated cost. Once in college, I plan to make another deposit towards a master's degree which would allow me to research and assist in innovating medical devices. However, a piece of paper simply does not qualify someone for a career. Therefore, I'll need to make another deposit prior to getting a degree in order to be prepared. This can be done through participating in several internships related to my career and gaining knowledge about career related topics. Now that I've made several deposits and time has elapsed, I must collect my savings in hope my deposits have grown. While my deposits might not be directly correlated, each deposit brings me closer to my long term investment.
You definitely answered the prompt. I thought your essay was very well-written and explained clearly your short and long term goals. I loved how you used the savings account to describe these goals. Overall, good job!
And:
Some corrections:
1) scientist discovered how to use human skin cells
Scientist(s)
2) Long-term and short term goals are intertwined and work similar to a savings account.
You should write: work similar(ly) to create
Through the contributions of remarkable men and woman, numerous medical discoveries have been made over the precedent decades at a swift rate. in recent decades.---I changed this to avoid awkwardness.
In 1981, a vaccine for hepatitis B was founded found. One decade later, a vaccine for hepatitis A was founded found.
Use a hyphen for both:
Long-term and short-term
:-)
