A decent aspirant to obtain a scholarship prize

Why me, some special attributes?

I am a good candidate to receive a scholarship award because I can overcome any obstacle. I am not one to give up when things become challenging, instead I work twice as hard and I become stronger. I believe that there is no excuse to give up. Life happens, events don't go as planned, and money is always an issue. All of those reason will make a persons plan harder, but you can still achieve them. I am not afraid to work hard, I have worked hard all my life. My father passed away when I was young, this not only hurt my family emotional but financially as well. My mom had to work days and nights to support my brother and I. Since she had to work I had to make sure my brother ate, and ready for school for the following day. At 14 years old that is a lot to ask from, this is why hard work does not scare me away. An accomplishment that sets me apart from other candidates is going back to school. I had to take a year off from school when I graduated high school. I had to do this because at this time my mom and I had lost our house. The stress of my mom, my brother and myself staying with different family members, while working full-time was rough I still managed to encourage myself to go back to school and do better for myself.

Hello Ciara, I read your essay but I don't think it's good enough. I didn't feel any connection or drive to know more or do more. It all sounded like you were listing points. Let out your emotions on your essay, make the readers to imagine being in your shoes.

Consider going in this direction: what living the hard life has taught you, like you mentioned working full time (did that make you to 've diligent, punctual or develop a team spirit or be determined. Tailor that determination to your education and how you want to go back to school to reach your fullest potential.

Make your essay a bit inspiring: Like how you got through some stages irrespective of challenges.

Ciara, when you apply for a scholarship, the first that you have to look at are the requirements of the program. What are their grade requirements, recommendation requirements, abilities, and traits, that they look for in students. You should tailor your essay to suit these expectations of the scholarship committee. That means, you need to discuss the reasons why you believe you qualify for the scholarship considering their requirements and expectations of their potential scholars. Your essay doesn't really do that. You are speaking of personal reasons why you would be a good candidate. You have not considered the specific scholarship requirements that would qualify you for the program. Review their requirements and discuss your abilities based upon their expectations. Highlight your abilities and other aspects as a student or private person that tie in directly with their objectives as a scholarship program. Remember that there are hundreds or thousands of scholarship applicants that will be presenting far more qualified information about themselves that better align them with the scholarship program. You have to make sure that you stand out among that pack somehow.