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GKS Graduate 2021 - Masters in International Business (Personal Statement)

petitemuncher 1 / -  
Feb 4, 2021   #1
Hi everyone, I am planning to apply to the GKS Scholarship 2021 and would greatly appreciate it if you could take some time to evaluate my personal statement. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

scholarship application essay

Ever since I was young, I was always known as the problem solver by my family and friends. When people come up to me with their issues, rather than avoiding them, I eagerly listen to their concerns and actively think of solutions for them. What I thought was just goodwill towards people close to me turns out to be one of the greatest assets in my life.

It took me 2 years in taking Strategic Management classes during my Accounting undergraduate studies to realize that I had the greatest excitement and joy in looking for ideas to exponentially expand a company or save a dying business. Although my lecturers were relentless in finding flaws to my ideas and strategies, it did not diminish the pride that I felt when my examiners complimented my final plans. Those moments made me further realize that I have a passion in being a strategist/analyst, and that I have this unquenchable thirst to always deepen my knowledge and understanding over global business operations and where the future might take them.

To accelerate my knowledge and growth in the corporate world, I decided to join XXX as an auditor. Although working for a Big 4 accounting firm can be very challenging at times, it is also an invaluable experience for me. I got firsthand experiences of how global corporations' financial, managerial and strategic functions all work together to achieve a beneficial synergy for the company, and also factors that might hinder or be detrimental to their growth.

To upskill myself and become a more well-rounded strategist/analyst, I decided to take my Masters in International Business. From the real life experiences and knowledge I have cultivated so far, I believe that for a business to continue grow and expand in this ever changing environment, constant improvements within a strong foundation must be made. Studying and researching on how global corporations operate, survive and dominate certain markets will give me the necessary tools to become a strong strategist/analyst to my future clients/employers.

I choose Korea as my destination because I observed how effective Korean companies have penetrated the global market in the recent years. I believe that Korea can achieve this present level of success through the collaborative synergy of high quality resources and also the willingness to always improve while still maintaining a strong national identity amidst the globalization trend. To gain a more comprehensive and thorough understanding on how this was made possible, I feel the need to fully immerse myself by studying in Korea.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,317 3351  
Feb 5, 2021   #2
You have written a general personal statement. One that reflects information that you wish to have the reviewer know about you. The GKS masters scholarship does require a personal statement. However, the reviewers are the ones who provide you with the discussion topics and focus for the personal statement. You have neglected to reflect the requirements based on the required information. The motivation you have for your masters studies are not professionally connected nor academically grounded. The work experience related does not depict the importance of a masters course completion. You do not have a convincing reason for studying in Korea. You do not have any evidence presented in relation to your ability to complete complex research or a keen interest in further advanced studies based on professional interests. This is not an effective personal statement. You must write a totally new one based on the requirements of the GKS scholarship. The instructions for writing can be found in the application packet that you downloaded.
oahr93 1 / 3  
Feb 14, 2021   #3
Hi Olivia! The feedback that I have for you is that it looks too short or simplified. I would recommend to elaborate way more on what Korea has achieved so far.

Good luck (:

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