In the midst of a hurried school day in Mongolia, a pivotal encounter reshaped my future. Assisting an elderly woman, burdened by her luggage and struggling with mobility, revealed to me the profound fulfillment derived from aiding others. Her grateful smile, warmly uttered "Thank you, my son," not only stayed with me but also ignited a deep-seated passion for understanding and helping people. This experience spurred my engagement with the Red Cross and various volunteer initiatives, particularly enriching my time spent with orphanage children. Their silent stories of resilience amidst sadness sparked my interest in psychology-the science of the mind and behavior, leading me to aspire to study this field at a premier university.
Raised by a resilient single mother in a quaint Mongolian province, my childhood was marked by independence and a relentless pursuit of knowledge. Despite minimal guidance, my innate curiosity and quick learning ability propelled me towards numerous academic and extracurricular endeavors. It was during one such event that I was introduced to the rich culture and esteemed education system of Korea, known for its meticulous attention to the holistic development of its people. This revelation steered my ambition towards advancing my education in Korea, leveraging the internet to self-learn Korean, and bridging the gap between my aspirations and the opportunities ahead.
Faced with skepticism about psychology back home-misconceived as a field only dealing with mental instability-I remained steadfast in my choice, fueled by the conviction that understanding human psychology is pivotal to fostering a healthier society. My academic journey was further validated by a scholarship that enabled me to commence my university education, reinforcing my belief in the adage my mother often recited: "Opportunities surely come to those who sincerely wish and dream."
My university years were a blend of academic rigor and practical exploration. Beyond mastering psychology, I embraced Korean language studies and immersed myself in extracurricular activities that honed my analytical and communicative skills. Working part-time in a Korean franchise and as a guide, I navigated the challenges of balancing work and study, emerging more organized, independent, and driven.
Upon graduation, I embarked on a career as a psychologist in a non-profit, supporting children in precarious situations-an experience that, while rewarding, underscored the need for further knowledge and skills to make a more significant impact. The realization that psychology in Mongolia was still burgeoning fueled my desire to seek advanced education in Korea, where the blend of innovative education and a rich cultural landscape at institutions like Chonnam National University (CNU) offers unparalleled opportunities for growth and learning.
Volunteering at the "Study in Korea Education Fair Mongolia" further solidified my resolve to pursue the GKS scholarship. Engaging with like-minded Mongolian youths, I was inspired by the transformative power of education abroad. I am drawn to CNU not only for its acclaimed psychology program but also for its commitment to fostering global competencies-a perfect match for my academic and professional goals.
As I apply for the GKS 2024 scholarship, I am buoyed by a vision of returning to Mongolia as a psychologist equipped to contribute meaningfully to mental health care, inspired by my mother's wisdom and the journey that has led me here. Through this scholarship, I aim to bridge cultural and educational divides, leveraging Korea's advanced education to sow the seeds of psychological well-being and happiness in my homeland.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,844 
4786 I am confused by this application essay. Are you applying for the U or G program? It appears you already have a diploma in psychology, but you are applying to Korea as an undergraduate again? Is that what you are saying? Also, are you applying under the university track? Not the embassy track? Information requirements for the personal statement under the university track is different from the embassy track. Your essay seems more geared towards the embassy track. Your university reference is weak and really unimpressive. It appears to me that you have accidentally combined the 2 application channels in this essay. You need to clarify which track you really want to use. The overall information is actually unimpressive. It is ordinary at best and lacks any stand out academic or professional information that could help catch the attention of the reviewer.
