Help me enhance my competitive collage club "CCC" application

Studying physics in the US

CCC_ entrance essay:
What do you want to study in college and why do you want to study specifically in the US? It's okay if you don't know for sure yet; just write about any current academic interests. Be as passionate as possible, but stay authentic. (200-300 words)

my response:

About twenty years ago, two research teams found that the universe expanding rate is increasing. They refer to the invisible force that causes the expansion as "Dark energy". For me, the dark energy inside my mind is physics. Physics constantly expand my knowledge and elevate my logic explanation.

I discovered my passion for physics in the seventh grade when I read my first astrophysics book. At the moment I finished the four-hundred-page book, the big bang inflated my mind synthesizing the passion and knowledge quarks inside my brain. And from then on I wasn't able to stop reading. For the first time I had got a life dream, I will be one of those who dig their name in the minds of humanity.

The first time to take an online physics course I realized that most of the world's best physics professors and scientists studied and worked in the US. This was a kind of mystery to me, how could one country has all these enlightened minds? I then discovered that US has the best college environment to support scientific research and the highest research budget among all countries.

Being a physics researcher is like the dream to me. Studying physics in the US will put me on the way to be one of those who write their names with gold on the pages of the history of science.

Hei,
I think for answering this question you may dig deeper in your personal life as this answer appears pretty general to me.

If your goal is to "be one of those who dig their name in the minds of humanity", you should answer why and how you may achieve this goal. Why "write their names with gold on the pages of the history of science" is important? How can you achieve that - as physics is a rather huge topic, which specific area in physics you want to specialize in? Is there a particular physician in the US you want to work with?

The point is to make your answer as specific as possible.

thank you for your advice
I will work on making it more specific

I would take the first paragraph and put it before the last one