Essay for scholarship - Master of Architecture in Deakin University in Australia

hello,
I would be very thankful for any help on my essay - structure as well as spelling and grammar since I'm not a native speaker.

The task is: Please explain briefly why the scholarship is important to you (attach another page if necessary):

The form only gives a couple of lines to answer the question, but I thought it might be good to give a short introduction of myself and why I would like to study there. I know I probably shouldn't start with "I..." but I haven't found a good sentence for the beginning yet. Any suggestions would be great.

Thanks in advance!!

Having recently finished my bachelor studies in architecture at the University of Wuppertal, Germany, the international scholarship program in combination with the master of architecture at Deakin University would be a unique way to improve my qualifications.

During my previous studies I have developed a strong interest in sustainable building. I believe environmental aspects should be a major part of the designing process. Attending classes in residential as well as non-residential sustainable building has helped me to develop a good background knowledge which has been very useful in my design assignments and in hitherto work experience.

However, I think there is so much more to learn. This is why I am applying for postgraduate studies at Deaking University. I am very interested in the sustainable emphasis of the master program. It would be an honour for me to learn from an award-winning team of professional and academic staff who will prepare me well for the challenging work in architectural practices. I look forward to gaining an insight in the architectural practice in a different cultural and climatic context and to sharing my experience about environmentally compatable building approaches in Germany and Europe.

Studying at Deakin University in Australia would not only broaden my horizons in the field of architecture and prepare me for practical work, but it would also give me the chance to experience a new and different culture. From an exchange year to the USA back in school I know that one can only truly get to know a country by actually living there and taking part in every day life. I would deeply appreciate the exciting chance to get to know the Australian culture and way of life by becoming a part of it.

"Having recently finished my bachelor studies in architecture at the University of Wuppertal, German I have developed a special interest in sustainable building. I believe environmental aspects should be a major part of the designing process. Attending classes in residential as well as non-residential sustainable building has helped me to develop a good background knowledge which has been very useful in my design projects.

Hello Gloria,

I made the corrections you suggested and also made some other changes. Could you have another look at it?

Thank you!

"Having recently finished my bachelor studies in architecture at the University of Wuppertal, Germany, the international scholarship program in combination with the master of architecture at Deakin University would be a unique opportunity to improve my qualifications.

t would be an honour for me to learn from an award-winning team of professional and academic staff who will prepare me well for the challenging work in architectural practices (Here is fine).

Studying at Deakin University (OK) in Australia would not only broaden my horizons in the field of architecture and prepare me for practical work, but it would also give me the chance to experience a new and different culture.

I would deeply appreciate the exciting chance to get to know the Australian culture and way of life by becoming a part of it. Remove

Great.

Thank you!!

I have one more question. I need some kind of heading. What do you think about:

"My motivation for the scholarship application"

or maybe just

"My motivation" ?

I really appreciate your help. Thank you alot!