Hi, I'm from Laos. I'm currently applying for AAS intake 2022, it's my first time to post here. Please help me to improve this essay, thanks in advance!
why did you choose your proposed study course and institution?
The leading cause of choosing Master of International Sustainable Tourism Management as a graduate program to study in Australia includes personal passion, strong inspiration, previous academic experiences, and current work. The Master of International Sustainable Tourism Management will help me to expand my knowledge, especially a deeper understanding of environmental, economic, and social sustainability strategies for the management of the tourism economy. Furthermore, what I admire the most in this program is, it conducts on the best practices within the broad realm of the tourism industry, policy governance, and research, which are directly related to the work I'm currently working on. In addition, one main issue in developing sustainable tourism projects in Laos is the partnership between stakeholders. This program offers some courses on effective planning and policy making for tourism, which will be a great asset for me in improving my planning and management skills, examines the related strategic rationale, development partnerships, and cross-cutting issues in development. Moreover, the course will help me to explore the challenges facing tourism development in emerging tourism economies and finding the solution to bring tourism as a practical tool for economic development.
A vital factor that I inspire by Monash University, it's the longest-running and most innovative industry-focused specialist postgraduate tourism program in Australia, and its specific objective of providing 'employment ready' graduates to manage the growth of the industry. Furthermore, the most interesting part to me at the Monash University is the combination of practical theory, field schools, and hearing from industry professionals provides valuable insights into the tourism industry both in Australia and abroad.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 which are directly related to the work I'm currently working on.
Huh? You never mentioned what that was. You better offer a clearer professional motivating factor.
You should focus less on merely repeating website information and more on offering true motivational information. This general discussion will not help your application because of the lack of vital information in relation to 2 university and/or course choices. Regrettably, this essay is devoid of proper motivational discussion points and clear academic considerations in relation to the university choices. Seperate the discussion into 3 paragraphs:
- Professional motivation
- University and 1st course choice
- University and 2nd course choice
Vagueness has no place in this essay. Just using cut and paste information will not work either. This presentation lacks sincerity in relation to the application.
