Master in IT - statement for AAS - Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?

Master of Information Technology course choice

Please give any feedback for this statement on "Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?" for Australia Awards Scholarship.

I chose the Master of Information Technology (IT) course because I am an IT graduate currently employing as a Senior Software Engineer. As much as this field excites me, this course will also equip me with the qualifications for the next goal of my life. IT is transforming the lives of all XXX. It is inevitably one of the most powerful tools to improve my country's economy. Therefore, by gaining advanced technical IT skills, and sharing it with future students, I hope to improve the status of my country even by a bit. To follow this course, I selected the University of YYY and the University of ZZZ as preferred institutions since both of them are prestigious universities in Australia with high rankings.

The University of YYY is my first choice because it is the highest ranked Australian university for technology. It also supports applicants with previous studies in the same field, eligible for credits. It could help me to advance into specialised subjects. The university also allows me to select an elective track to support my career goals and interests. Moreover, it hosts a large number of international students which will encourage me to engage in different cultures and perspectives.

My second choice is the University of ZZZ because of its global reputation in teaching quality and research output. One of my personal goals is to become a great lecturer in my country, and by studying at this university, I believe, I will be exposed to international experts and their teaching techniques too. Masters course at the University of ZZZ includes a master thesis, and I hope it will improve my research skills. By studying here, I will be able to learn from other researchers and build up a network where I may find motivation for my future PhD research as well. The course list is rich in subjects covering different areas of IT which also allows me to hone my expertise by selecting preferred ones.

I'll provide you primarily with guide questions and a few commentaries for your three paragraphs.

Regarding your first paragraph, I suggest that you try to be more specific with what you are trying to say. You were giving out vague lines regarding helping your country without specifying which particular issues you would like to address. You should discuss how you plan to help out your country, why these steps require you to pursue this advanced degree, and what you see yourself doing for the country in the future. For instance, you can tackle how technological transfer can assist you in the long-run.

You may answer to:
What are the current trends and issues in the IT industry of your country?
How do you plan to address these issues through your proposed study?
Why do you think your country will benefit from this?
What's your personal fulfillment from being able to do this?

When tackling universities that are part of your options, I suggest that you also try to be more descriptive and specific.
What about the curriculum in these universities excite you?
Why do you believe that being in these campuses would contribute to your overall character?
How are your career goals (long-term and short-term) in line with your potential entry into this program?
Which courses do you plan to partake in?
Do you have any professors in these programs that you have read researches on that you are excited to meet?

Remember that the more specific you are, the better.
Best of luck.

Thank you for the elaborated feedback! I'll try to answer these questions as much as I can within the character limit. Thank you.