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Scholarship essay to NTU : An event of personal importance to you. You may choose any topic.

Sourabh01 1 / -  
Mar 8, 2018   #1
The prompt of the essay is:
Describe, in less than 300 words, a short essay, on a subject of personal importance to you. You may choose any topic. Examples include: an event which has influenced you or a family member/friend/person who had a significant influence on you.

the 'God of cricket'

Sachin Tendulkar, the world renowned cricketer, was and still remains my hero. His solid words and most importantly, his meaningful actions have always influenced those of mine. But, I am quite sure that he did not affect me because he was the 'God of cricket', even though I love the game, but because he is a man of honour and is regarded by the world as an embodiment of virtue.

His autobiography, "Playing It My Way", started with the insightful and moving message by his father, to a young and mischievous Sachin, when he once got in trouble for a dangerous prank: That he would be happier hearing people say, "Sachin is a good human being" than " Sachin is a great cricketer". This single dialogue altered Sachin's perception ( and mine equally) of the very real external world. In fact, those words did not just reach his brain, but were etched permanently in his subconscious mind that the ashamed Sachin made it his life's mission to live up to his father's expectations and finally became the 'collective consciousness of the pride of India' that he is today.

Thus, as a result of the his father's supporting words and his persevering pursuit of perfection, he never held a part in any misleading campaigns or issues and was not even remotely implicated in any juicy gossips in his 24 year career or in his 44 year old personal life. Such dedication and passion made him an idol lovingly worshipped by all the Indians and hence, my favourite celebrity and role model.

The deadline is on march 19th so please help me in perfecting my essay. Corrections and feedback are welcome!

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,323 1847  
Mar 10, 2018   #2
Sourabh, while you were asked to pick someone else or a different event for the topic of this essay, that chosen person or event should not have become the focal point of the essay. The essay should be how this person inspired you to be who you are today. It is not a discussion about how Sachin became the best cricket player and how his father's words helped him achieve that. It is about how these very same words inspired you to become a better person just as he was. How did these words affect you in a parallel manner? That is the discussion point required by this essay. Your response totally missed the point so you will have to write a new one that either delivers a clear focus on you or a shared discussion regarding parallelism between you and Sachin.

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