change the efficiency of using IT
I consider that we humans should use computer's sharp intellect for tasks that we can not solve for development needs for nations because they are far more useful for solving specific tasks not just playing chess to beat the world champion. I implemented different systems in various influencing enterprises and it led me to realize that using artificial intelligence in information systems is the next step that will dramatically change the efficiency of using IT.
I convinced that the chosen study "Master of IT and IT Management" at the University of Sydney will help me to solve the issues that I encountered, like unproductivity in the mining industry, the inefficiency of using IT in public services especially in data analysis by combining practical experience and knowledge of artificial intelligence (AI), data analysis and management skills.
The University of Sydney has an extremely developed foundation for a thorough study of AI. For example, in the mining sector, researches are developing autonomous vehicles in mining operation for vaster productivity, drones for safer exploration of confined spaces and information systems through machine learning for optimisation and planning. And the study of Machine Learning by Dr Tongliang Liu will help me to develop, use and manage AI systems in a real-world case.
I think that decision-making through data-driven insights is a crucial skill for better result. Therefore, "Data analytics and Business Intelligence" (BI) is the best unit for it because it gives conceptual foundations to design and implement BI dashboard on big data to build strategies and making informed decisions.
Last but not least, I am sure that studying the Security Management subject lectured by Dr Kanchana Thilakarathna will help to ensure security in large scale systems. And Project Management by Dr Hasan, who has 12 years of international experience, will give not only theories but bring global ideas and wider interdisciplinary practices.
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Change your approach to this essay. You need to be more descriptive regarding the reason why you chose your proposed course. Try to focus on explaining specific problems that you encountered on the job. These encounters, which appeared to be unsolvable to you, but solvable to others on your team, should be the driving force for your additional education requirements. Deem yourself proficient, but in need of advanced training. Once you have accomplished that, your course choice almost becomes self - explanatory.
Do not use terms of uncertainty such as "I think" in these essays. You have to be certain in your discussion presentations because you need to convince the reviewer that you have considered all aspects of your educational needs, in relation to the course subject offerings and training program. Remember, uncertainty means you are not sure of your reasons with regards to your university choice. Use words that connote the conviction of your choice instead.