Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?
As I was interested in teaching English language, I joined to attend Post Graduate Diploma in Multi-media Arts( Education) at Yangon Institute of Education after graduation. The government posted me to serve as a Junior Assistant Teacher at a Basic Education High School after completing this diploma. At that school, I taught Computer and English to the young learners and could upgrade their English and Computer Skills.
After four years later, I transferred to Sittwe District Education Office as an assistant computer operator. In my free time, I taught English to young learners as a private teacher. But, I want to learn higher level in English in order to give better education to my students. And I am seeking advanced-level knowledge of the context, purpose and role of assessment and evaluation in education. So, I need to study Teaching to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL) , dynamic, global profession. In addition, I would like to exchange cultures and study English language with international students together. I believe that this course will be advantageous for teaching English language and will help us to understand the connections between theory and practice, as well as to know the importance of developing strong principles of practice in English language and teaching. Besides, TESOL will give us the qualifications needed to teach English as a second language.
To study this course, I chose University of Canberra, a young university with fresh perspective on education at only 30 years old. This university is renowned specialists in sports, education and health. UC also ranks highly for students support, learning resources and skills development. Besides, it is based on the progressive and vibrant capital of Australia, Canberra. It is known for its international outlook, innovation, safety, inclusivity and progressive nature. It also has the lowest unemployment rate in Australia and offers a lower cost of living than other major cities in the country. So, I choose this university to study TESOL.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The question is, why did you choose your proposed course. Is TESOL the proposed course? The response to the question needs to lead in with that response. Why you chose to study TESOL at this time as it is relevant to your future career prospects is the only important information in this case. So the first paragraph can be deleted, with the second paragraph revised to provide the reviewer with a direct response to the proposed course part of the prompt.
The second paragraph, referring to the chosen institution, should be more targeted in nature. The response needs to show that you have an insight into how the TESOL offering of the university aligns with your academic goals and professional ambitions. You have provided only researched information in regard to that prompt question, making it a useless response presentation that has nothing to do with your academic and professional considerations.
Too much introduction. I will prefer to answer the question directly first and then list my reason(s) and problem(s) that can support my answer.
In your last paragraph, you didn't relate your reasons to the TESOL program at the university specifically. For example, courses that the university offers and the plus point that the other universities with the same courses don't have.
My advice, please focus on what you will gain from the course and institution. Keep spirit !!!
