Please be critical because I know I fumbled, and also help me with advice pls.
This is for the Australian award scholarship choice of preferred course and institutions.
An underprivileged community
I grew up in a rather underprivileged community, life standard has always been shabby be it the food, education, health care sector, and lifestyle. This made me develop a certain mindset to create changes in my family and the community. In high school, I was great at biology, and I have an uncanny brain to understand much more than average, this was one of the reasons why my teachers persuaded me to study medicine so that I can get the government Scholarship for Medical students. But because of a bad habit I developed in school which is that I seldom study until the exams, and because I always passed, I did not stop until it came around and gave me a huge blow in my final exams, the results are not up to the criterion for Medicine. I was offered Human anatomy instead, and due to a financial crisis I wasn't able to continue after the second year, so I had to drop out. Dropping out of school was a major devastating period for me but luckily I made it, this period was the time I planned my future and discover my potential, I realized the best form of development I could provide with my talent lies in Biology (Agriculture specifically) and it is incredibly the area most people benefit from in my community, but to improve life standard I need to include technology because this it is the future. After my research, I coined a statement, " Biology is our livelihood, while technology is our future" this gave rise to my ambition of being a Biotechnologist. I decided to venture into Food Science and Biotechnology because this will help solve a lot of practical problems of hunger and reduce the number of nutritional disorders in the community.
After I research which university will be best for me to study Food Science and Biotechnology, Griffith University and
The University of Queensland was my first and second choice respectively. Griffith University School of Science and Environment has received a standing ovation Internationally for producing graduates that focus on tackling food biotechnical problems, and together with the induction of commerce in the course and the specific campus location made it one of the best places for me to actualize my dreams. Also, the University of Queensland is one of the best research institutes that focuses on Food Science and Biotechnology in the world, creating and implementing great improvements in food industries and that is a major attraction to me. These two institutes are by far the best choice for me to study Food Science and Biotechnology in Australia.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 There are limited words available for this response statement so do not waste it with all that backstory. It will not help your application anyway since it is not related to the method by which you chose your proposed course/s and institution/s. Target your academic goals for each of these institutions instead. The screener will also not consider the current information that you have used for the university and course choices. Why? These are searchable information, which does not prove that you actually have serious academic considerations and training goals when it came to considering your university choices. Delete this essay and write a totally new one that might be better considered by the screener. This one just does not work since it does not deliver the necessary information to the screener. You must research the course and the university achievements or training in that area that can help you achieve certain learning targets. Get to know the masters course curriculum and the university beyond the public realm.
