How well do you intend to perform academically as an ***** scholarship recipient?

Can you give me some constructive critisim on my essay. It's suppose to be 300 words and mine is 330.

If I was lucky enough to get excepted to ***** I would preform academically to the best of my ability. I would always keep up to date on assignments and complete projects well before they are due. I would most likely have to get a part time job to help me with my college expenses. While having a part time job would eat into my study time, I would make the best of it and try to make it work. I managed this year to study for my leaving certificate while also having a part time job. If I was an ***** scholarship recipient ( which would be amazing) I would preform outstanding academically. Since I wouldnt have to have a part time job, I would have so much more time to study and I would. Without money worries the only thing I would be worrying about would be my education.

Growing up I was always told of the things I couldn't do, never the things I could. When I was eleven I got very sick. When I was twelve I was told I was going to die soon. Everyday I asked could I leave and everyday I was told no. I got fed up of being told I couldn't, so I told myself I could. I told myself "I could" get better, I told myself "I could " leave the hospital and I told myself "I could" live and I did. When I was fourteen I was deemed perfectly healthy. I had stared death in the ce and I promised myself that I would enjoy an make my life worth living. I would do everything that I had wanted and I have. I went and will complete secondary school just like I wanted and now I am given the opportunity to go study at university just like I have always wanted. I have always wanted to go to university and I am not about to mess it up and I will preform remarkably acedemicaly.

Here's my opinion.
Grammar is not your strong suit at the moment.
Try writing a poem about your experience confronting death.
Make death as real and humanlike as possible.
Compare your success over death to success in academics.
Write a few sentences expressing your main ideas in the poem.

Do you have special skills? Empathy? Willing to listen to other?
Marathon reader? athletic?

Let me know if you are still stuck.