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The world of law - Personal statement for the GKS scholarship



Vera24 3 / 9  
Jul 26, 2024   #1
Please feel free to express your opinion

Growing up, I was fascinated by the world of law. I vividly remember watching the news with my father, where court cases and lawyers in action captured my attention. I often asked my mother about these people, and she explained that they were lawyers, individuals who help judge cases and ensure justice is served. Intrigued, I declared that I wanted to become a lawyer when I grew up. My mother encouraged me, saying, "That's good. But remember, you have to read a lot." This encouragement fueled my determination, and I immersed myself in reading and learning.One significant experience during my childhood involved a conversation about lawyers and honesty. I overheard someone saying that lawyers often lie to win cases. This troubled me, as I believed that being a lawyer should not be about lying but about upholding the truth and fighting for justice. I resolved that my path in law would be defined by integrity and a commitment to advocating for what is right. My decision to become a lawyer stems from a deep-seated desire to help people fight for their rights and to be an advocate for justice. With this passion, I am determined to pursue a career in law, specializing in human rights, family law, corporate law, and civil law. My goal is to contribute to a just society where everyone receives fair treatment and legal protection. "The law is not a mystery; it is a living, breathing entity that shapes and defines the world around us."From a young age, whenever I was asked what I wanted to become in the future, my answer was always the same: "I want to become a lawyer." Growing up, I realized that not all childhood dreams come true easily, but my determination to become a lawyer remained unwavering. In my country, many people lack the opportunity to receive a proper education. I was fortunate to have this opportunity, and discovering the GKS program felt like a pivotal moment-a reliable path to achieving my dream.Despite facing discouragement from those who suggested I pursue a more financially lucrative career, I stood firm in my resolve. My mother has always been my greatest supporter, encouraging me to follow my passion. Witnessing the societal impact of law and the importance of advocacy, I knew that, even if I never became a lawyer, I wanted to be an advocate for justice. There were times when I considered abandoning my dream, thinking it might be better to pursue a trade if I couldn't study law. However, I realized that compromising on my dream would lead to regret. I am committed to pursuing a career in law, where I can make a meaningful impact on my community.I have completed my high school education with a focus on humanities and social sciences, consistently achieving strong grades. Subjects such as history and literature have been particularly influential in shaping my understanding of societal issues and the importance of law. Throughout my academic journey, I have actively participated in various extracurricular activities that have enhanced my interest and understanding of the legal field. These experiences have prepared me well for the challenges and opportunities of studying law at a higher level.One of the most significant experiences that influenced my decision to pursue law was my involvement in a community legal aid project. Volunteering to assist underprivileged families with basic legal education and documentation has shown me the profound impact of legal support on improving lives. This experience reinforced my commitment to becoming a lawyer who can advocate for justice and support those in need. Additionally, my mentor, a respected lawyer in my community, has played a crucial role in guiding and encouraging me to pursue my passion for law. Their insights and support have been invaluable in shaping my academic and career goals.I have been actively involved in various extracurricular activities that have contributed to my personal and academic development, including the Debate Club and community service. While I have not received any formal awards, my dedication and contributions to my community and extracurricular activities have been recognized by my peers and mentors. I have written articles on legal awareness for my school newsletter, which have been well-received and appreciated by my community. Additionally, I have developed skills in legal research, public speaking, and organization through my various activities and projects.Although I am not fluent in Korean, I am committed to learning the language to enhance my studies and interactions in Korea. My proficiency in English is at a functional level, and I am continuously working to improve my language skills to better prepare for the academic challenges ahead.In conclusion, the opportunity to study law under the GKS program is a pivotal step toward achieving my career goals and making a meaningful impact on my community. I am eager to embrace the challenges and opportunities that come with this program, and I am confident that the knowledge and experience I will gain will equip me to become a dedicated and effective advocate for justice. Thank you for considering my application.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15921  
Jul 28, 2024   #2
. I vividly remember watching the news with my father, where court cases and lawyers in action captured my attention. I often asked my mother about these people

Let me get this straight, you watched these programs with your father, but you asked your mother about it? Why? If that is the case, you should have mentioned watching these programs with your mother rather than your father for continuity purposes in the presentation. You confused the reader. What is the value of watching these programs with your father?

I declared that I wanted to become a lawyer when I grew up.

This does not make sense. You decided to become a lawyer simply based upon the explanation of your mother? You were not even a teenager at this time. You were just a child. That reference does not make sense. No reviewer will believe this claim. Your essay is off to a very confusing start.

The essay is badly formatted. I lost interest in reading it after the first few lines. I suspect the actual reviewer would also lose interest in reading this paper at that point. The overall presentation needs to be further improved. The formatting needs to be better and, the writing guide instructions should be adhered to in the presentation.
rumia rumi 1 / 1  
Aug 16, 2024   #3
The determination in this essay is good. However, don't you think that there are many essays out there which are more inspiring out there? I've seen many people telling that there family members died because of the unfairness or stuffs like that. Do you think you can compete with them
Moreover, your essay has mistakes in vocabulary usage. The repetitions of words such as "experiences" or "legal" may make the reviewers feel irritated
Henry56 1 / 2  
Aug 28, 2024   #4
@Vera24
Your draft effectively captures your passion for law and determination. It's engaging, but simplifying transitions and reducing repetition will make it even more impactful. Highlighting why specific legal areas resonate with you and clearly stating your achievements will add depth. Overall, it's a strong and sincere narrative.


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