IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Causes and Solutions topic Environment

GLOBAL WARMING IS ONE OF THE MOST SERIOUS ISSUES THAT THE WORLD IS FACING TODAY.
WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF GLOBAL WARMING AND WHAT MEASURES CAN GOVERNMENTS AND INDIVIDUALS TAKE TO TACKLE THE ISSUE?

It is true that one of the most critical problems about the environment in the world today is global warming. while there are several courses on this problem, a number of solutions can be adopted to mitigate it.

There are several reasons that bring about global warming. First of all, it is worth considering the greenhouse effect. It is an effect that happens when certain gases in Earth's atmosphere trap heat, those gases let in light but keep heat from escaping. This problem spring from the burning of fossil fuels, which leads to making carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. If the burning of fossil fuels happened, it was because vehicles that are powered by energy need them to act. Especially, the car is one of the most popular vehicles nowadays, it is simultaneously one of the enormous fuel consumption vehicles in the world. Moreover, CO2 originates in the electric factories producing electricity is an indispensable job in modern life. However, it still consumes enormous fossil fuels. Another cause, I think that is deforestation. Many people or organizations who didn't allowed by the government were cutting and burning trees. Trees are the sources of providing oxi to humans because they absorb carbon dioxide and release Oxi. Therefore, when people overdeveloped, the amount of trees could be not enough to produce oxi, even that makes Carbon dioxide increasingly. Because people not only cut trees illegally but also burn them. Firing trees will make more Carbon dioxide and it will burn pretty oxi. That leads to climate change.

To tackle the problem, I think there is some solution which is Considered by the governments and individual. For governments, they should encourage citizens to use green energy such as solar or wind energy. This way is completely capable of reducing CO2. On account the green energy such as fuel from sun or wind is an endless and environmentally friendly fuel. Additionally, the central government must impose stricter punishments on illegal tree cutters to threaten and prevent acts of deforestation, depriving of oxygen supply. For individuals, each person should be educated about protecting the atmosphere. since they will cognitive the significance of reducing the emission of factories. And they could use environmentally friendly energy instead of fossil fuels. For example, they may be useful vehicles that weren't consumed fossil fuels such as bicycles. Moreover, to balance average global temperatures, citizens can promote public campaigns about planting more trees in the local areas to make more forests - the green lung of Earth.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for global warming, and stop to be taken to deal with its consequences.

Give the examiner a more concrete idea of what topics will be discussed. Do not repeat the instructions because the guide questions require you to provide a completely developed thesis statement in response to the questions.


This is not an effective topic sentence. It is a redundance since it just repeating the discussion topic a second time.


You are overdiscussing at this point. The first 2 reasons presented are cohesive and coherent. This 3rd reason does not have a direct relation to the first 2. Actually, only 2 connected reasons are required per paragraph.That is, when the prompt asks for more than 1 reason in the paragraph presentation.


Overdiscussion seems to be a bad habit with you.

The essay is overwritten and cannot be properly completed within 40 minutes. While the writer understands the topic, he is not capable of presenting simple reasoning paragraphs as needed in the presentation

@Holt
Many Thanks. But can u help me mark this, will I get 5.5 ?

My comments on the essay:
- First of all, your essay is over-lengthed so it would be a minus point to the Task Response. Try to reduce to 380 or lower than 350 words.

- Secondly, there are grammar errors in this essay. I suggest u use google docs to correct them.
- Last but most important, I will look into in ur writing to understand how u describe your ideas:
+ Opening: just like the expert mentioned. A way to write a thesis statement is: "This essay will elaborate + (paraphase the question) + provide sth (Ex: the main reasons of this problem and provide personal measurements.)

+ Body 1:
1) Topic sentence is not good at all. It should be referred a few information to the major idea of the essay. I mean u could partly summarize your body.

Idea 1: 2) "certain" gases: you didn't even say what are them -> so u should plus "such as carbon dioxide" or change the adj to sth like "exhausting emissions" (a much more academic word)."trap heat, those gases let in light" -> trap + noun so u can't write "those gases let in". And a plus point is that u can't even link them, so why not combine them by "which means an effect ..."

3) "If the burning of fossil fuels happened, it was because vehicles" -> wrong tense -> it should be present since it is a recent problem. Also, cars are just a minor part of the whole reason u outlined, so u should use "including"

Idea 2: You didn't even explain further about it . I mean: why it is a dispensable? why it consume fossil fuel?. If I was you, I would write the second reason could be the consumption of those fossil fuel -> factories could be a considerable example.

Idea 3: like the expert said: it is unnecessary. And there is no noun named "oxi" -> it's "oxygen"
=> Vocab inaccuracy
=> From my own perspective, I think your ideas are absolutely not cohesive and coherent, you explain insufficiently, recklessly and confusingly about them.
+ Body 2:
1) " which is Considered by" -> "should be considered". The problem hasn't been solved so solutions aren't clearly provided by them.
2) there is a general word to describe your first solution, it is "green politics"
3) Your ideas are arranged illogically so again, a minus point for coherence and cohesion
4) Like what mentioned by the online examiner: you outlined too much ideas without any careful supporting statements.
+ Conclusion: you don't paraphase your ideas, and it is so obvious to state there are various reasons and methods that it is worthless to write only that down.

In short:

This essay should be below 6.0, and my personal opinion is to rate you at band 5.0
P/s: @Holt can you take a look at my essay. I, maybe just like the writer, am a Vietnamese candidate going to attend the real Ielts exam so I am begging you to evaluate my writing. Here it is, in the same website: https://essayforum.com/writing/traffic-problem-major-cities-causes-solutions-91168/. Thank u so much

thanks