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I am a young leader, who is hunting for knowledge - UGRAD exchange program application

Islambek 1 / -  
Mar 8, 2021   #1
Hi my dears, I need your help .I'm gonna apply UGRAD exchange program here my essay

UGRAD is the perfect platform for me

I am a young leader, who is hunting for knowledge, from a remote village of Kara Suu, Kyrgyzstan. I am enough fortunate to born in an educated and broad minded family in a district . I used to live in division Where still lags behind in primary education. Nevertheless, my father's financial composure, decided to invest all his earned money for my knowledge and improve it as possible as a high degree of education. Since my childhood I was interested in digital technology and science even I had not any chance to use a real laptop or computer. Being trailblazer, to prove existence of democracy in my society is my duty . However, my passion to technology and justice in my educational system made me study hard, develop my leadership skills and even awake a great desire to apply to America, a dream country of democracy and freedom, in order to find the way in my life goal challenges. Since my childhood, I had the intention for learning, however low financial pocket pushed me to be The best one entering to the university door. All my action leads to "Never lose your hope, believe that nothing in life is unimportant every moment can be a beginning"

Academically, I'm not going to limit myself with average degree .I want to explore my personal abilities as possible as through being participant in various programs as UGRAD ,wich will helps me to improve my personality traits and perform these even better.

I'm not trying in vain, one day I will be part of the community where I serve.
I can use my knowledge where there are opportunities for advancement
Therefore, I do developments wich will help young generation to build brighter future, I put myself because no one else is going to do it for me.

I am curious boy who can easily able to get along everyone anywhere, the only man who is full of energy in my circle and I've been an enthusiastic ,creative and active student since my College. I always tried to respond school's requirements and participated in every competition : sport, debate, quiz ,KVN projects and won prizes. I was captain of Soccer team. I am also good at working out competitions , connote that I achieved 3 times champions of Crossfit Under 18th

Nowadays we made football championship with welthiest promoters around our village ,
The sake of peace and extend friendly relationship

As the United States is the centre of knowledge and one of the most powerful country in the world with democracy
Spending golden time with them and learning their ways of working will give me big experience in my personal grooming
Their education system in person will bring useful turn on my educational system, indeed!
A chance to get a semester being USA student makes me more confident also it increase my interpersonal skills , Impact my working capasity with public leading approach

USA's students far away from Asian's nature, culture,custom and show them ours would be an HONOR .
I recommend to young learners who wants to get third world experience like I do . UGRAD is perfect platform that I have absolutely been looking for
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447  
Mar 8, 2021   #2
The essay does not respond to the most important requirement of the essay which is a discussion of the evidence that proves you are currently a community leader and that you have the potential to be a future notable leader in your country. You keep on telling the reviewer that you are a community leader and that you have leadership skills. However, you have failed to justify those claims through your discussion presentation. As we often tell the students, show do not tell. Telling the reviewer is not the same as showing. When you show, you prove the discussion requirements. When you tell, you just imply your skills without evidence. This makes your application less considerable. You should work on focusing on the leadership and community leadership evidence requirement of the discussion prompt. This essay cannot be used for your application. Not a single part of it can be recycled for use in your new response essay.

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