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UC ADMISSION ESSAY: YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK


alexteele 3 / 3  
Oct 6, 2008   #1
Prompt #2 (all applicants)

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Essay

"When you grow up, you're going to become a doctor, a DOCTOR!"

Even before I had the chance choose a career, my path had already been predetermined by my mother. Her incessant pleas however, were finally put to silence when I visited Yosemite National Park for the first time in my life.

"Ready, set, fight!" With my arms tense and palms moist, I quickly struck the controller at full force. I had been playing my Super Nintendo gaming console that entire morning when my mother walked into the living room and called out my name. Because I was so fixated on the activity at hand, I reluctantly answered. Before I had the chance to object, she planted herself in front of the television and imposed her authority over me. She told me that I had to be dressed because we were heading to Yosemite National Park. I despised the idea of leaving the comfort of my home to a place that I have never been to or even heard of before. I prefer the familiarity of my surroundings and as a result, I protested against this sudden decision. However, my mom begged to differ; she claimed the park had a "spectacular view that would be life-changing." Believing that she merely read from the brochure, I strongly doubted her but with little that I could do, I headed toward my room to change.

As we approached Yosemite National Park, the view of the city slowly began to fade away until all one could see was a multiple of trees. Once we arrived, a park ranger guided us to many different locations; one site in particular that I found very enticing was the Bridal Veils Waterfall. It had been described as a 620 foot drop that is was truly magnificent in both terms of size and view. Amidst the constant pounding of the waters, I felt a warm sensation that engulfed my entire body; my mind was in awe at the marvelous view. The unbelievable sight quickly removed any regrets that I had about the trip. This experience was beyond comparison to anything I have ever felt; it had provided me with a different perspective on life. I accepted the situation, understood what I came to learn, and used that experience to further influence my life. The actual path that I am destined to take is no longer of importance to me but rather the amount of growth that I can acquire on that path. During this trip to Yosemite National Park, my outlook on life matured and I along with it.

Sadly, the week came to an abrupt end as I returned home. The trip was definitely life-changing as my mother had said it would be. As we approached our apartment complex which in my mind was once very spacious, was now microscopic compared to the things I saw that day at Yosemite National Park. I felt confined in the walls around me and I desired to be outside. I was then aware that my preference had completely changed; I was astonished by the experience and the effects it had on me. The optimistic side of life became very clear as I saw the variety of possibilities in the future and I truly believed that I could have overcome anything obstacles.

There is always a sense of joy whenever I reminisce about my trip to Yosemite National Park. I am proud of how much growth I accumulated on that day and the optimistic view that was established in place of my indifferent views continues to shine to this day. I hope to come back one day and experience the same breakthroughs that have greatly impacted my life. As for my mom mother, she no longer wants me to be a doctor but...

"When you grow up, make LOTS and LOTS of money!"
OP alexteele 3 / 3  
Oct 7, 2008   #2
Thank You for fixing the grammatical errors. "hoping to find something closure" At first, I was trying to make an attempt to express the fact that I became dissatisfied with the stuff I saw at home. I looked toward the Super-Nintendo in order to find some satisfaction but then i realized, it did bring great happiness but now it is nothing compared to the experience at Yosemite Park. I will continue to work on this paper, but if you have any more suggestions, such as rewording some sentences or adding/deleting stuff, please tell me so i can improve the content of this essay. I want this essay to reflect my personality and character to its fullest extent. Thank YOU! =]


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