"The American Dream to help others not only in Ghana" common app essay

Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.

A stream of rich red pigment meets white in perfect harmony and a deep blue ocean meets the two, while fifty bright stars lay afloat. The wind carries the white, blue and red lines into a longitudinal wave that seems to reach endlessly into the sky. Many define America by its opportunity and opportunity is a quality that millions of people world-wide seek each day. Many look to our great nation to attain that opportunity through the so-called American dream. However there is a sad reality in the American dream; the lack of it.

I loved the paper!!!! So moving. This was an awesome read and you brought me into your world while helping me better understand my own so thank you.

The only thing I see a little off or awkward are the one-liners. You think you can put some together because with so many short paragraphs, it does make it less like an essay. But if you feel it takes away from the paper, and while I read it I felt it was a great approach, then don't do it. Also maybe fired instead of terminated. Terminated sounds paperwork-like.

Thanks again for an awesome read :)

Thank you.

should i indent the paragraphs like i would in a regular 5-paragraph essay with an intro and conclusion?

Hi Linda, if this is going to be printed out, you can indent, but sometimes with online submissions you have to do a line break instead (i.e. don't indent, but skip a line.)

I like the intro, but where is the rest of the essay? Did we delete a post by accident?