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'Avalanche of clothes' - I Don't Want To Choose (Common App Essay Option 1)



shonakk 1 / -  
Nov 14, 2014   #1
Thanks to all who take the time to look at my essay.

Essay Prompt: "Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story."

As soon as I opened the door, an avalanche came down upon my head. However, this wasn't an avalanche of snow, but of clothes. I was helping one of my cousins organize her closet. As I stood there, removing dresses and skirts that had fallen on my shoulder, I realized why she needed the help. It was as if someone had taken a mall and stuffed it inside her house. Not only was there an abundance of clothes in her closet, but her bed, laundry room, and even her living room were all filled with used and unused clothes. As I took in the sight of the cluttered and untidy house, I realized I would be in for a long day.

It took us awhile, but we were finally able to sort through all her clothes. We separated them according to what would be their fate after that day. Some clothes were so old and used that they would have to be thrown away. Some she would keep, and organize them in her closets and drawers. We decided that the rest of the clothes would be given to goodwill.

As we folded and bagged up all the clothes that would be given away, I told my cousin that I wouldn't mind taking all the gently used clothing back to my house. My mother was connected with a shipping service that came by our house every two or three months to collect clothes. The service would then ship them off to a certain area for those who would need it in different parts of the world. If she gave me the money for the shipping, I would be happy to take the clothes.

When I told my cousin this, she immediately asked me where the clothes would be shipped. I replied and told her that in this cycle, the clothes would be sent South Africa. To my surprise, she immediately started protesting. It wasn't that she didn't want her clothes going to Africa. Instead, my cousin wanted her clothes to be shipped to Guyana. Both of our mothers had grown up in this country, and the living conditions there were not the best. We still had many family members and family friends living in near poverty. She wished for her clothes to be sent to them.

I had nothing against sending the clothes to my less fortunate family members. However, I was being realistic. Many of the clothes being given away were winter clothes, which wasn't practical for the tropical weather of my mother's country. Also, winter would be coming up in South Africa, and many people there would need these clothes for the brutal cold that was upon them. I suggested that we go back through the clothes and separate them according to their appropriate season, and then send them to both countries. However, she said she didn't have enough money to ship two barrels of clothes. We went back and forth for a while, until finally my cousin told me I would have to choose. A knot immediately formed in my stomach.

The statement my cousin made really resonated with me. That day, I realized that I didn't want to have to choose who I help. I want to be able to help all people of all nations, whether they are my family or complete strangers. I want to do whatever it is that I can to help better the lives of those that are less fortunate than I am. From that day on, I swore that I would do my best to make sure I help everyone I can. Whether it's sending clothes, doing health care work in other countries, or even just donating money, I will do my best to make sure I follow up on my promise.

admission2012 - / 475  
Nov 14, 2014   #2
This is not central to your identity. Central to your identity is something that you have done for some time now. Something that defines who you are or that others will say is a defining characteristic you have. Promising to heal the world is something that everyone says and few people actually deliver on. In any event you missed the prompt by a mile with this essay. For further information on how to select a topic, please read my many posts from last year on this very same essay prompt. - Admissions Advice Online


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