Hi, please can you rate/ comment/ check my application essay? It isn't finished but here's what I got so far. (It's more like a draft) and there are missing ideas. I think the main problem would be word ussages.
"Improvement begins with I."
-Arnold H. Glasow.
As Ben Franklin once said "All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move". All mankind goes through these classes at different points of their life and it's optional to stay just in one or became the three, every person is different so everyone will have a different opinion of what these mean and in which one they belong.
I consider myself to be the three classes depending on the circumstances I go through. In some concepts I'm immovable, my beliefs and culture, my ideas, my values can't be easily changed, it's part of my personality ... however that doesn't mean I'm not respectful of other persons beliefs and personalities; I like listening to people, this way you learn and appreciate other opinions. In other concept I think I've become immovable in the lives of my family, friends and others, because I left a mark on it, a good one for little or big things although I'm not part of their daily life.
The more I learn and grow up, I became movable in some aspects that I wasn't before, to see things I didn't saw before, to know more and therefore began to think deeply, analyze things and research.
I'm not only movable for those things, also I'm easily adaptable to different scenarios, different personalities and places, always being myself providing something new to the experience and knowledge, I like having an open vision of the world.
In the stage "those that move", I' not only referring to leadership, to creative ideas and solutions but improvement, motivation, perseverance and tenacity. In order to be a great person and achieve great things you must have an open point of view not only national, but an international one; Knowing other cultural concepts and lands, interacting with different persons, be capable of moving people in order to achieve good and great things not only for one's sake but for other's too.
"Improvement begins with I."
-Arnold H. Glasow.
As Ben Franklin once said "All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move". All mankind goes through these classes at different points of their life and it's optional to stay just in one or became the three, every person is different so everyone will have a different opinion of what these mean and in which one they belong.
I consider myself to be the three classes depending on the circumstances I go through. In some concepts I'm immovable, my beliefs and culture, my ideas, my values can't be easily changed, it's part of my personality ... however that doesn't mean I'm not respectful of other persons beliefs and personalities; I like listening to people, this way you learn and appreciate other opinions. In other concept I think I've become immovable in the lives of my family, friends and others, because I left a mark on it, a good one for little or big things although I'm not part of their daily life.
The more I learn and grow up, I became movable in some aspects that I wasn't before, to see things I didn't saw before, to know more and therefore began to think deeply, analyze things and research.
I'm not only movable for those things, also I'm easily adaptable to different scenarios, different personalities and places, always being myself providing something new to the experience and knowledge, I like having an open vision of the world.
In the stage "those that move", I' not only referring to leadership, to creative ideas and solutions but improvement, motivation, perseverance and tenacity. In order to be a great person and achieve great things you must have an open point of view not only national, but an international one; Knowing other cultural concepts and lands, interacting with different persons, be capable of moving people in order to achieve good and great things not only for one's sake but for other's too.
