Born scientifically inclined, I was, and still am, fascinated by the world around me - USC essay

hi Everybody. I really some honest feedback from anyone who reads my essay. The prompt for the USC short essay is : Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections.

Every time an airplane flew pass my house, I would run outside and admire it in awe. Born scientifically inclined, I was, and still am, fascinated by aerial transportation. Many a time, I would construct origami paper planes, build space shuttle models and even design rockets on my computer. My passion for aeronautics kept on expanding while growing up and not just boxed up at home. During Secondary School, I volunteered in a Rocket Launching Competition. The exposure and experience I receive bolstered my interest even more.

I intend to major in Mechanical Engineering with a minor in Aerospace. Having one of the nation's best engineering programs, the University of Southern California's engineering curriculum has won me over. I look forward to courses such as AME 308 Computer-Aided Analysis for Aero-Mechanical Design which ties technology with design. Moreover, knowledge is at every corner in USC. With 23 libraries filled with thousands of books at USC, I bet my mind will never go hungry again. If admitted to the University of Southern California, I look forward to joining the Design/Build/Fly team to expose myself to real-world applications of aeronautics. With multifarious resources at USC and a diverse student body, I bet I will learn new and interesting things every day while maturing as a worldly engineer.

I used a magnet to attract all the pins and needles that fell on the carpet. Born scientifically inclined, I was, and still am, fascinated by the world around me. Many a times, I would solve my problems with a scientific and systematic approach. My interest in science and technology expanded with my first personal computer. The possibilities were endless.

Where's the essay?

jinglebells, I'm not sure why I can't post my essay. It keeps saying "the URL is not supportted" Do you have any idea what I am doing wrong?

hm, try answer someone else's question and then posting. sometimes that works

Where is the information about how you will utilize your experience at USC to expand and explore your interests? Go through the website, check out specific courses, look at the centres of research, student clubs and communities and incorporate these into your essay. Divide your essay into two equal parts - first part about your interests, second part about how you will explore these at USC. Be more specific.

Thank you Moonshadow0302. I am revising my short essay.

I have done some revision on my short answer. Please give feedback!! Thanks!!!!

Well done - this is very well written, covers both your interest and how it developed and how you will utilize your time at USC. Good work!

Just a few corrections -


flew past


stare at it in awe
admiring something and looking at something in awe amount to roughly the same thing, so you are kind of repeating yourself


received
Wish you all the very best!
I wish there was some thread where everyone who got admits could put up their names and colleges, so we know which essays got accepted

This is good writing, for sure. That first sentence seems abrupt, though, and I am thinking, "when did this happen, and what are you talking about?! You could use one explanatory sentence before it, maybe, like:

I discovered aeronautical science when I was seven years old, though I did not know it by that name at the time; I only knew that I was amazed. Every time an airplane flew pass my house, I would run outside and admire it in awe.

I think there is no need for this. Just 'I always have a fascination for '


I think this sounds too statistical and it sounds fake.
the admission people shall think that you've just read it from the website and add it in just for the sake of 'having a concrete example' rather than you're really drawn to a particular aspect of the college.

would you mind taking a look at my essay

Thanks guyz alot! But I have a question... Does anyone of you find it odd that my academic interest is all about aeronautics but I gonna major in Mechanical Engineering? Or is it ok?

That could be.. odd.

But I don't think it'll matter much.
They want to get a better understanding of you through the short answers.
They're looking to find out if your dedicated and such.

And a person is allowed to have more then one interest.
So I think your good!

It's great to have compounded interests. There is no reason an engineer cannot delve into aeronautics, and the kind of work you do throughout your career will reflect your unique personality. It's great that you have interests; some people have only apathy.