Brown Curriculum - France and Psychology

Alrighty, so I know this is choppy, but I just need some help with the general idea, and maybe figuring out how to integrate it and maximize my content in the small amount of characters. THANK YOU!

I've known my career pathway for 4 years now: psychology. This is a passion I've been committed to, but with little experience, so when taking courses in psychology, I may become interested in something else.

I've had a love for France's language and culture since 3rd grade. It began as a simple interest and has grown into my life. I wish to study and go abroad to France as much as possible.

The Brown Curriculum is ideal. Not only are my intended areas of study an unusual mix that would otherwise be difficult to pursue, but I may deviate and seek out other areas. I will be able to explore my current interests, along with myself through those that will develop during my stay at Brown.

Overall, this essay has a LOT of potential. It's up to you to make it stronger and more engaging. Sorry to be harsh but when I read this, the essay structure seems REALLY robotic and mechanical. Change some words, elaborate on your paragraphs, and don't just "state" what you're interested in. Back it up with WHY you like it. Good luck!

Please check out my essay(s). I will return the favour right away:)

I think what you say is too superficial. Try to say something that makes clear and strong your love for French and Psychology. And also you should explain a bit of why you would apply to brown, not just put the name of the university at the end without any real link.

Hope this helps a bit.
Thank you fpor your help though :)