I have created this thread in requests for ratings, help, any clarifications or improvements you can aid me with in my college essay. The Word Count is 625, which may be over the limit, I am not quite sure.
Normal College Essay requirements
The Butterfly Effect
I can still recall pressing my ear on the cold door frame, attempting to hear my parents' hushed voices; possibly grasping what it was that they were so precautious to hide from me. Never could have I fully comprehended the magnitude of the following events that were soon going to unfold. Life in France at the age of 9 was interesting but rather quite routine. Towards the end of winter however, I reluctantly started noticing more and more changes happening at home. My father was staying home more often, my mother was pacing around the kitchen as if she was in deep thoughts, and the phone was endlessly beeping from day to night. Despite all these clues, I had never thought, even once in my wildest dreams that we were possibly moving out of the house, let alone the whole country! One day however, after being dismissed from school, my mother gathered all of us and began explaining exactly what I had feared and bottled deep down. Never in my life could have I fathomed the meaning of such crazy event of this magnitude. I could hardly focus on the simple fact that soon everyone I knew, and everything I had ever worked for would disappear before my very eyes. Leaving everything I had grown to understand, and heading towards what all immigrants considered the land of freedom and hope, seemed complete ludicrous to me. But never have I ever been more grateful for boarding that plane seven years ago. I can't even begin imagining what my life would be like if my parents hadn't went looking for the American dream. However the road we took was not an easy journey; France and America reside as complete opposites, everything from the way they eat to the cars they drive. In the initial months of my arrival I explored this new world, and relied on hand signals to get my point across. But as life progressed, I was soon admitted to school, and hand signals was not enough to graduate to middle school. Where others were given a choice in there later years, I was but 10 years old and already forced to adapt to my new surroundings. With pure determination and the fact that failure was not an option being my motivation, I excelled beyond my classmates, and became bi lingual by the age of 11. Where many had fallen due to the sheer obstacles that consisted of being set in a completely new environment, which you knew nothing about, as if being placed in a rain forest and left to survive alone, I overcame all odds and always stood back up to fight again. Every aspect of my life was challenged and questioned, and yet in 2005, I graduated to middle school like every other student, and was finally considered and American citizen.
Nearly seven years later, reminiscing about my past as I have foretold it to you, I can't help but seek more knowledge and live up to my potential. The simple ability to adapt to change, as mundane as it sounds, is one of the most useful characteristic in life. I was given the chance to earn that skill, and evolve into something greater, something that many can't even begin to understand. And with that skill, I will excel once again, to overcome any obstacles in my path, and achieve the very dream I so yearn to deserve. So here I am standing beside you, as not a child with pain and sorrow, but a man with dreams and fulfillment. A man who can say with certain confidence, that he is not only capable of surviving in any environment, but able to prevail and transcend any of your wildest expectations.
Normal College Essay requirements
The Butterfly Effect
I can still recall pressing my ear on the cold door frame, attempting to hear my parents' hushed voices; possibly grasping what it was that they were so precautious to hide from me. Never could have I fully comprehended the magnitude of the following events that were soon going to unfold. Life in France at the age of 9 was interesting but rather quite routine. Towards the end of winter however, I reluctantly started noticing more and more changes happening at home. My father was staying home more often, my mother was pacing around the kitchen as if she was in deep thoughts, and the phone was endlessly beeping from day to night. Despite all these clues, I had never thought, even once in my wildest dreams that we were possibly moving out of the house, let alone the whole country! One day however, after being dismissed from school, my mother gathered all of us and began explaining exactly what I had feared and bottled deep down. Never in my life could have I fathomed the meaning of such crazy event of this magnitude. I could hardly focus on the simple fact that soon everyone I knew, and everything I had ever worked for would disappear before my very eyes. Leaving everything I had grown to understand, and heading towards what all immigrants considered the land of freedom and hope, seemed complete ludicrous to me. But never have I ever been more grateful for boarding that plane seven years ago. I can't even begin imagining what my life would be like if my parents hadn't went looking for the American dream. However the road we took was not an easy journey; France and America reside as complete opposites, everything from the way they eat to the cars they drive. In the initial months of my arrival I explored this new world, and relied on hand signals to get my point across. But as life progressed, I was soon admitted to school, and hand signals was not enough to graduate to middle school. Where others were given a choice in there later years, I was but 10 years old and already forced to adapt to my new surroundings. With pure determination and the fact that failure was not an option being my motivation, I excelled beyond my classmates, and became bi lingual by the age of 11. Where many had fallen due to the sheer obstacles that consisted of being set in a completely new environment, which you knew nothing about, as if being placed in a rain forest and left to survive alone, I overcame all odds and always stood back up to fight again. Every aspect of my life was challenged and questioned, and yet in 2005, I graduated to middle school like every other student, and was finally considered and American citizen.
Nearly seven years later, reminiscing about my past as I have foretold it to you, I can't help but seek more knowledge and live up to my potential. The simple ability to adapt to change, as mundane as it sounds, is one of the most useful characteristic in life. I was given the chance to earn that skill, and evolve into something greater, something that many can't even begin to understand. And with that skill, I will excel once again, to overcome any obstacles in my path, and achieve the very dream I so yearn to deserve. So here I am standing beside you, as not a child with pain and sorrow, but a man with dreams and fulfillment. A man who can say with certain confidence, that he is not only capable of surviving in any environment, but able to prevail and transcend any of your wildest expectations.
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